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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU Flowers At Work?

174 replies

BlueNeighbourhood1 · 22/12/2017 09:35

Hello,

I've posted about this nightmare woman at work before and things had calmed down, I stayed out of her way, put my headphones in when the noise was too much and finally finished for Christmas on Tuesday.

Yesterday some flowers, chocolates and a card arrived for me at work from one of the sites I work with. My friend (who works with us both) text and emailed me pictures of everything and I saw it this morning, messaged her and said it's so lovely and I'd drop in and collect them today.

The other woman has taken the flowers home for herself! I'm so angry, friend has called this morning and said sorry as she was there but didn't stop her. She knew that as soon as I had seen the messages I'd come and collect them.

AIBU to be absolutely pissed off my gift has gone to someone else?!

OP posts:
WhatWot · 27/12/2017 21:05

I feel rather sorry for that woman now. She must be so insecure and wanting to be liked.

Notreallyarsed · 27/12/2017 21:12

She must be so insecure and wanting to be liked

Or a cheeky fucker!

Original poster
BlueNeighbourhood1 · 27/12/2017 21:22

My biggest concern was that the box was a plain cardboard box with it addressed to me, and she has opened it.

What if that was a Christmas gift for someone I'd ordered to be delivered to work? I don't get why it was opened by anyone in the first place. It doesn't surprise me she gave them to someone at work and passed them off as something she had bought to said girl, she honestly didn't think she would be found out.

For me after seeing the packaging there's a bigger trust issue going on here as to why my package was opened and why she felt it was hers to take and give to someone as she saw fit without my consent.

OP posts:
zzzzz · 27/12/2017 21:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Rossigigi · 27/12/2017 21:47

Wow CF!!!!!!

ToadsforJustice · 27/12/2017 21:53

Regardless of the contents of the box, she had no business opening it. I would imagine this is not the first time she has done this. Shameless.

honeysucklejasmine · 27/12/2017 21:53

So, in light of this update, are you actually going to take action?

But anyway, surely it was your friend who opened your package to reveal flowers, not the CF?

Original poster
BlueNeighbourhood1 · 27/12/2017 21:58

I'm not 100% who opened it in the first place, but I'm really shocked someone has. The way the box looked it could quite easily have been something I'd had delivered myself to work to collect.

My manager is now aware but yes, if she doesn't take it further then I will go higher and raise it as a grievance. I'm utterly astounded regardless of the value or who it's from someone has opened a package addressed to me and decided to pass the contents off as a gift from herself to someone else in the office. Its absolutely immoral if nothing else and what happens if I have something delivered in future and she's there? If I'm out is she just going to open it and keep it?!

OP posts:
Ilovetolurk · 27/12/2017 21:58

I think those flower boxes are usually fairly identifiable OP

Not wanting to absolve her in any way - she is one almighty CF

ToadsforJustice · 27/12/2017 22:00

I misunderstood. I thought CF had opened your box. Even so, it was your box to open as it was addressed to you.

Original poster
BlueNeighbourhood1 · 27/12/2017 22:00

Absolutely. It had the company name on the front. My point is I could just as easy have had it delivered to go and collect as I knew someone would be there for them to be delivered to, to pick up later in the day and take home. It was absolutely not her business to open it at all.

OP posts:
gingergenius · 28/12/2017 00:59

😮

SandyDenny · 28/12/2017 06:52

What an update! I think you need to take it further to make sure this woman doesn't do it again but I think you also need to make sure of the facts first.

Im on the app so can't scroll back but iirc you said your friend sent you a picture of the flowers, is that right? I would ask her if she knows who opened them in the first place, why did that happen? Does your work post room open all mail?

Does the receptionist still have the box? Can you get it to prove it was addressed personally to you?

iBiscuit · 28/12/2017 10:24

Slightly irrelevant, but it's shit like this that leads employers to stop personal deliveries at work.

ZacharyQuack · 28/12/2017 10:35

How did the friend that text you the photo know that there were flowers in the box?

BewareOfDragons · 28/12/2017 10:37

Yikes! What an update!

I'm glad you're taking it farther. She's a thief, and a liar, and she has no business opening anyone else's packages!

DotCottonDotCom · 28/12/2017 10:50

Whaaaaaaaat?

OP you’re totally right. I’m in charge of the mail in our office and I wouldn’t dream of opening any letter or package not specifically addressed to me, this goes to the receipent unopened.

And it has to be that way, or other people get blamed for things going missing etc

Notreallyarsed · 28/12/2017 11:35

Next time you’re off for a few days, order one of those glitter bomb things to your work and see if she opens it Grin either that or an enormous sex toy.

GaspingGekko · 28/12/2017 12:05

Wow. Just wow. I have no other words for her level of CFery. Shock

RhiannonOHara · 28/12/2017 12:44

My biggest concern was that the box was a plain cardboard box with it addressed to me, and she has opened it.

Yes, this is unacceptable.

I do hope your manager picks it up. And you're quite right to raise it as a grievance.

Original poster
BlueNeighbourhood1 · 28/12/2017 12:54

I've spoken to my friend at length this morning about what happened and she is absolutely disgusted the woman took the flowers and passed them off as her own gift to someone else.

Friend has basically said this is going to make us a laughing stock, because of the receptionist now knowing the origin of the flowers she has told her manager and we just look awful as a department. Friend has said it was herself that opened the box as she wanted to make sure the items in it weren't perishable. When she realised what it was she put everything back and then messaged me the pictures. I don't blame her at all, I'm a bit shocked she opened it but it's the events afterwards that have got me.

My friend was completely speechless when she found out what had happened and that C.F. had regifted a gift that wasn't hers to give. She called my manager to give her side of events and hopefully this will be resolved as it raises a huge trust issue in that I don't trust anything to go to work anymore for fear of her taking it. Its not about the value of the item it's about how ethical it is.

If my manager doesn't deal with it I'll go to my next manager and also HR as we work in close proximity to them so speak every day anyway. I'm not letting her get away with this - although the shame of the whole site we work at knowing she's a thief, liar and gave someone else's gift to the receptionist and they probably won't talk to her again will be enough!

OP posts:
Aridane · 28/12/2017 13:04

So the friend opened the flowers to check the package didn't contain a perish item - not the CF Grin

Original poster
BlueNeighbourhood1 · 28/12/2017 13:07

She did. If they opened it and rang and text me to let me know I would've probably asked them to take them home or came to work to collect them, but it's what happened afterwards.

I don't understand how any person in the world would think "Blue has had a gift delivered, it's Christmas so I'll go downstairs and give it to the receptionist and say it's from me". Unreal!

OP posts:
Aridane · 28/12/2017 13:14

The 2nd bit is off - ie pretending the gift is from her to receptionist. The rest of it I don't have a problem with and think posters reaction is over the top. I would probably open a perishable item that was for a colleague - and if it was over the Christmas break would probably take it home to enjoy (though would let colleague know I had done so).

When I was unexpectedly away in hospital, my neighbours took in - and use - my vegetable box. I didn't think they were CFs - were glad it didn't go to waste.

SandyDenny · 28/12/2017 13:23

A veg box that you pay for yourself isn't the same as a Christmas gift someone else has given you, that's not a valid comparison imo.

The person paying for the gift wanted it to go to the OP, not be given by some randomer to some other randomer.

When does the CF come back to work?

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