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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU Flowers At Work?

174 replies

BlueNeighbourhood1 · 22/12/2017 09:35

Hello,

I've posted about this nightmare woman at work before and things had calmed down, I stayed out of her way, put my headphones in when the noise was too much and finally finished for Christmas on Tuesday.

Yesterday some flowers, chocolates and a card arrived for me at work from one of the sites I work with. My friend (who works with us both) text and emailed me pictures of everything and I saw it this morning, messaged her and said it's so lovely and I'd drop in and collect them today.

The other woman has taken the flowers home for herself! I'm so angry, friend has called this morning and said sorry as she was there but didn't stop her. She knew that as soon as I had seen the messages I'd come and collect them.

AIBU to be absolutely pissed off my gift has gone to someone else?!

OP posts:
Original poster
BlueNeighbourhood1 · 22/12/2017 10:07

At that point I hadn't messaged her back about it, I was completely unaware about it all until this morning, so its not my friends fault.

She didn't want to get involved in it and I can see why

OP posts:
Viviennemary · 22/12/2017 10:07

Your friend doesn't sound like much of a friend to me. I wouldn't trust her an inch. Why didn't she say something.

DancesWithOtters · 22/12/2017 10:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ineedwine99 · 22/12/2017 10:08

What a cheeky bitch! I would be getting in touch and demanding them back, she has stolen your gift! Also raise with your manager

SandyDenny · 22/12/2017 10:08

Please don't call the police, that would be a total waste of their limited resources although it would no don't give them a laugh at the police station.

The CF would lie to the manager and say she took them so they didn't go to waste, is that really gross misconduct in the normal world? I'm pretty sure at my work you'd get a telling off at the most.

BerylPeryl · 22/12/2017 10:10

It's a small team and not worth the aggro
This!
This fucking nonsense is why cheeky fuckers get away with it! OP don't be a doormat. Insist she return the flowers or you will raise a grievance for theft.

Original poster
BlueNeighbourhood1 · 22/12/2017 10:10

Thats all that would happen at my work - she probably wouldn't even get a telling off tbf.

Thats why I'm on here to vent about it, I know what my workplace is like and I have a feeling she thinks shes done the greater good taking them home. So I cant really do anything at all. I even think it would be pointless discussing with my manager as it would create a horrendous atmosphere in the office

OP posts:
Fairenuff · 22/12/2017 10:11

Go to her house and collect them then,

BerylPeryl · 22/12/2017 10:11

She clearly wasn't worried about aggro when she stole your flowers

ClareB83 · 22/12/2017 10:11

At my work we'd have to declare the gift and send it off for assessment. Two months later you'd get back some dried up stems.

Anasnake · 22/12/2017 10:12

Just text her 'thanks for taking my flowers home, I'll be round at x time to collect them'

buckbeak · 22/12/2017 10:14

I don't see the harm in just messaging her @BlueNeighbourhood1

If you don't do anything, you're just going to get more annoyed about it. Just ask her if you can have your flowers.

Whinesalot · 22/12/2017 10:14

Contact her directly and tell her you'll collect them from hers.

Original poster
BlueNeighbourhood1 · 22/12/2017 10:15

It was an internal gift if that makes sense? I work in a team that supports branches and my gift was from one of the branches itself. We've had loads of stuff to share over Christmas so why she feels like she needs to take my things is beyond me

OP posts:
SD1978 · 22/12/2017 10:17

To maybe be a bit more neutral, even though you’ve had issues with her before. You had already finsished for the year before the gift arrived. She took the perishable part home, on the assumption that you were finsidhed for the year. She didn’t take the chocolates or the card. Maybe a little cheeky- but your mate who knew you were goingtimake a special trip back into work to pick up the gifts, didn’t tell your colleague- just allowed her to walk out with them, and didn’t tell her you were coming back to pick up- which may have stopped her taking them. She took them infoid faith they’d be dead by the time you came back. I’d be more miffed at work colleague who didn’t tell her you were going to be coming in than CF who saw flowers that would die and reckoned she’d have them.

Original poster
BlueNeighbourhood1 · 22/12/2017 10:19

SD nobody knew wether I'd be coming back in or not - about two hours after arriving she took them home with her.

She didnt call or text or let me know they were there which makes me think she planned to take it all along.

OP posts:
BadgersBum · 22/12/2017 10:20

I thought this was going to be one of my colleagues moaning about the flowers that have just arrived for me from one of our other branches. They pissed and moaned when I got Employee of the Month vouchers recently after being nominated by the same people.

I was hoping someone would suggest to them that they try being a bit more helpful/friendly to people who work for the same company as them (even at company functions they stand in their own little huddle of the same 4 people who sit together every day and never think of putting faces to names), stop the self-enforced 'work to rule' that they seem to have. I'm being thanked for doing some work that may have been completed after 5 o'clock, during my lunch hour or even at the weekend and isn't in black and white on my contract, but stopped someone else stressing out (although, yes, I did claim the overtime, I'm not a saint!).

Oh well, I'll just stay in my corner and keep being smuggy smug and fondly caressing a petal every now and again! Grin

buckbeak · 22/12/2017 10:20

Just send her a message, you're just going to wind yourself up going over it.

Viviennemary · 22/12/2017 10:21

I'd say your friend was more to blame as the woman. Didn't realise this 'thief' thought you wouldn't be returning till after Christmas. And your friend knew your were collecting the flowers. Why did you friend not put her right immediately. I'd suspect the friend was deliberately trouble making when she didn't speak up.

Zaphodsotherhead · 22/12/2017 10:23

I can guarantee this woman will literally see nothing wrong with what she has done at all. She will think it's perfectly acceptable.

Then it's time someone told her she's wrong.

Undercoverbanana · 22/12/2017 10:24

I'd find her and punch her fucking lights out, grabby bitch. She's a thief, pure and simple.

Gwenhwyfar · 22/12/2017 10:26

I think I'd be happy in a way. Flowers are such an awkward present to receive at work. Embarrassing to get them in front of everyone, you then have to put them in water for the end of the day, then drain them, then they're awkward to carry home and you have to look after them at home. I'm not even sure my work or my home has a vase.
I'd consider that the person had done me a favour tbh.
You still know that people appreciated you enough to give you a gift. That's what counts.
She's at home dealing with the stinky flower water of flowers given to someone else.

Hissy · 22/12/2017 10:26

I think that you absolutely should say something to this CF.

Gwenhwyfar · 22/12/2017 10:27

"I'd find her and punch her fucking lights out, grabby bitch. She's a thief, pure and simple."

Which one of you would get arrested though?

amusedbush · 22/12/2017 10:28

What a cheeky cow! And I agree with PP, if you let this go then she'll just keep doing it.