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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU Flowers At Work?

174 replies

BlueNeighbourhood1 · 22/12/2017 09:35

Hello,

I've posted about this nightmare woman at work before and things had calmed down, I stayed out of her way, put my headphones in when the noise was too much and finally finished for Christmas on Tuesday.

Yesterday some flowers, chocolates and a card arrived for me at work from one of the sites I work with. My friend (who works with us both) text and emailed me pictures of everything and I saw it this morning, messaged her and said it's so lovely and I'd drop in and collect them today.

The other woman has taken the flowers home for herself! I'm so angry, friend has called this morning and said sorry as she was there but didn't stop her. She knew that as soon as I had seen the messages I'd come and collect them.

AIBU to be absolutely pissed off my gift has gone to someone else?!

OP posts:
RestingBitchFaced · 22/12/2017 14:07

So your just going to let her get away with it? 🙈

Valerrie · 22/12/2017 14:09

I really don't understand why you can't just go round and get them.

SoozC · 22/12/2017 14:16

Which bit was lying? That she went in a couple of hours later to collect them.

Okay, well that was my error, must have mis-read the OP. If they were going to send the email you'd hope they wouldn't blindly copy and paste.

AlexaAmbidextra · 22/12/2017 14:37

I can't believe all the calling the police, report to HR, tell my manager, tell her manager. Yes, not a nice thing to take someone else's flowers and really annoying but so many on here sound like a bunch of fucking schoolchildren. Hmm

Original poster
BlueNeighbourhood1 · 22/12/2017 15:36

I feel like I need to clarify events so everyone isn't adding parts in. I am fully prepared to be told I was being unreasonable, that was the purpose of my original post.

So yesterday

-Flowers, a card and chocolates arrive at work addressed to myself
-My friend at work messages my work phone and emails me pictures to my work email of the gifts. My work phone is switched off with being on holiday
-No more than two hours later the woman takes the flowers home as "Blue won't be back till after Christmas". Chocolates are left and card.

  • I see the email this morning and text my friend, asking if she's in the office today as I'll come to collect them (I need to go to a retail park close by as they're the only place with a Google Home Mini in stock)
-She calls me to tell me the woman took the flowers home and that she didn't agree with her when she said she was taking them but didn't disagree either

-This woman has my personal phone number, she could have called or text me to ask me if she could have them but chose not to
-This woman has form for needing to be the centre of attention and everyone knows is very insecure
-Because of the department we work in we've received as a group loads of chocolates and wine which wasn't addressed personally and was always distributed evenly amongst everyone, if it's addressed to someone it's always left for them
-My region offered me a once in a lifetime experience because of some achievement I did a few months ago and the director in that area picked up on what I'd done. Because our manager knew how insecure she would get about my prize I had to keep it secret

I think now I just find it a bit funny that she did it, it's typical her and I should've realised that's what would happen. I won't be going to HR but I will have a quiet word with my manager upon return from holiday to let her know what happened and that'll be the end of it I'd imagine.

OP posts:
Tragicboozyflaccidclown · 22/12/2017 15:50

Meh I think you’ve blown it out of all proportion.
Her mistake was assuming you had finished work for Christmas and that the flowers would just be left to wilt over the holiday so she took them home.
That’s a bit annoying but no biggy, although I don’t know your background with this woman so don’t know if the bad feeling is from you or from her

Tinselistacky · 22/12/2017 15:56

I would be calling at her house and getting them back -

honeyroar · 22/12/2017 16:01

Your friend should have said "I've told X and she's picking them up" or "I'm going to drop them round to her". As things stand the grabby woman didn't know and thought you'd never see them.

I think she's a bit grabby, but your friend is pathetic and, really, so are you if you don't say anything either. Either message her and say you will collect them from her (at the vet least she'll think twice next time) or drop it.

Wattonearth · 22/12/2017 16:10

I think she was def a CF but before reporting to manager or HR I would ensure your company doesn’t have a policy re gifts... we save one which states we are not allowed to accept gifts... you don’t want to get in trouble as well.

LivLemler · 22/12/2017 17:02

I'm sure she's been plenty annoying in the past, but I don't think this is a big deal. It wouldn't have occurred to me that someone would call back into the office for the sake of a bunch of flowers in Christmas week. In my place, they'd be left in the office for everyone to enjoy, and then someone would take them home on the last day before Christmas closure. She was cheeky not to ask if anyone else wanted them, but I think it's fair enough that they weren't just left in the office over Christmas.

SwimmingInLemonade · 22/12/2017 22:11

YAB a little bit U. It's annoying, and I'm sure she is a CF in general but on this occasion what she's done isn't that bad. If you'd already left for Christmas it's not that surprising that she didn't call you to tell you there were flowers for you. She didn't take the chocolates so she's not just randomly stealing gifts, she just took home flowers which, as far as she knew, were just going to wilt in an office for several days.

I agree with previous posters that your friend is partly to blame. What's all this vague "didn't agree with her when she said she was taking them but didn't disagree either"? What does that even mean? Why didn't she just say "Oh I've sent Blue an email to let her know the flowers are here?" Or maybe she did say that and the woman said "Has she replied? No? Well that's probably because she's turned her work phone off and won't be turning it on again tol after Christmas, so let's not let these flowers go to waste?"

Lots of people are asking why you don't go roudn and get them, do you live close enough to the woman to do this or are you miles apart?

Daddystepdaddy · 22/12/2017 22:17

Not a big deal really as she probs thought you wouldn't be back for them. Regardless of how personal it felt this is a corporate gift as it was received from a business contact because if the work you do for them. It is likely that your employer will have a policy about such things and you should read it to see what you should do with such gifts.

Cantuccit · 22/12/2017 22:19

Email her now and say she needs to return the flowers or deliver them to your office.

Or email boss and her boss now. Strike while the iron is hot.

Cantuccit · 22/12/2017 22:19

*to your house

CinderellaRockefeller · 22/12/2017 23:31

When you say bunch of flowers - are we talking £100 and a gorgeous vase or are we really talking about a poinsettia with some glitter sprayed on it?

Unless it was a really fancy bunch then you are (all) overreacting massively. I would bother go back into work to pick up flowers a supplier/other department sent although I would if it was a gift from a loved one. I can see why she reached the conclusion they would be abandoned and die

Clearoutre · 23/12/2017 13:36

Don’t let it spoil Christmas but she really should have asked before taking them because 1) they were addressed to you for your hard work 2) you would have collected them 3) you need to be able to thank clients knowing what they sent you and 4) if you couldn’t collect them you would have given the flowers to your other colleague who was kind enough to send a photograph so you could at least what they looked like.

This colleague didn’t think through any of the above, she just wanted your flowers and thought running out the door with them when the Christmas hols would be the end of it.

TheOnlyWaysTitsUp · 23/12/2017 13:53

Do you have her number? If so, text her and say something like "it was so kind of you to offer to deliver my flowers etc to me, when will I expect you?" She'll have to give them to you or admit in writing she stole them. Which in many jobs would be a fireable offence.

This!

thegoodnamesarealltaken · 23/12/2017 14:07

All you need to do is just text her saying something like 'Thanks so much for looking after my flowers for me, I'll be in your area this afternoon, will 4 be ok for me to come grab them?'

Clearoutre · 23/12/2017 14:18

thegoodnames you could accidentally finish the text “...will 4 be ok for me to come grabby them?” Grin

DailyMailReadersAreThick · 23/12/2017 14:41

I have no sympathy for people who want to whinge and bitch about someone but won't actually take simple steps to right the wrong.

If you're a pushover, you lose out. Stop being a pushover.

StealthPolarBear · 23/12/2017 14:49

"Tell the person who sent them to you what's happened to them. email them and say It's a lovely thought but unfortunately Colleague Scrote has taken them home with her so I've not seen them."
Don't do this. Don't drag clients (even internal) into your workplace bickerings

Nanny0gg · 23/12/2017 14:57

-My region offered me a once in a lifetime experience because of some achievement I did a few months ago and the director in that area picked up on what I'd done. Because our manager knew how insecure she would get about my prize I had to keep it secret

Why on earth is everyone colluding to baby her?

No wonder she gets away with stunts like this!

Original poster
BlueNeighbourhood1 · 27/12/2017 20:21

So here's an update. I went into work today and as normal was talking to the girl on reception as I signed in, I happened to ask her if she had taken delivery of said flowers, to then have this conversation:

"These flowers" - showing me a picture on Instagram of the flowers that had been delivered from me

"X brought them down before she left for Christmas. Told me that they were for all my hard work during the year, just before she'd been to the supermarket and said she had got all the guys on the shop floor a gift. And we laughed because she left a half eaten advent calendar on the desk of a bloke in the office as his gift"

So this girl is absolutely mortified she'd been given my flowers and went to speak to my manager about it. My Manager has basically said she's stolen the flowers with the intention of passing them off as a gift from her to someone else. I looked at the box too, it was from a website and they shouldn't have even been opened, it was a cardboard box addressed to me. Out of my hands now though, but thank you for all your advice previously.

It's just the cheekiness of it, taking the flowers and passing them off as your own gift to some unwitting girl in the same office. She obviously never thought she would be found out.

OP posts:
honeyroar · 27/12/2017 20:47

It will be interesting what happens now.

Tistheseason17 · 27/12/2017 20:52

And the plot thickens....