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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask what the worst experience of your life Is??

269 replies

K1092902 · 22/12/2017 01:02

Having a fucking awful time right now- just one thing after another. Please someone help me put things in perspective

OP posts:
Bouledeneige · 22/12/2017 23:03

My baby dying inside me and then having to give birth to him.
Discovering my XH's affair.
My DM's sudden death.
My Dad nearly dying 6 months later.

BipBippadotta · 22/12/2017 23:23

Going into hospital in labour excited to meet my firstborn child only to find out she had no heartbeat. Labouring 20 hours knowing she was dead. Then having a c section for which the anaesthetic failed. Having to tell my mother. Having to tell the postman, the neighbours, the man in the local shop when they asked where my baby was. Having to run into the couples from my NCT group and their happy healthy babies every fucking time I left the house. Watching them all have second healthy babies while I just had miscarriage after miscarriage.

The support I had from lovely MNers is pretty much the only thing that kept me sane for a period of about 2 years after my daughter's death. Flowers to everyone on this thread, and everyone who listens and helps.

overduemamma · 22/12/2017 23:27

My sister passing away tragically, coming up to her anniversary on xmas eve :( 2 years! Thinking of everyone else Thanks x

RomansRevenge · 22/12/2017 23:29

Watching my husband get killed.

Soyalatteforme · 22/12/2017 23:33

Being raped by my best friend.

failingatlife · 22/12/2017 23:37

My DH being diagnosed with MS 14 yrs ago has been the worst & gets worse every year.

seven201 · 22/12/2017 23:43

I have a top three:

  1. Watching my mum die of brain cancer at 63. Fucking cancer.
  2. I recently had kidney surgery with post-operative complications. I was in hospital for 10 days (mostly a blur) and off week for 5. Would have been fine if I didn't have a 16 month old. She was a mummy's girl and is now a daddy's girl (4 months later) as obviously I didn't see her for 10 days and then I couldn't pick her up for week, so she cried at my feet a lot. And physically I felt utterly shit. And also missed my mum not being around to fuss over me. Doesn't sound that bad when written down but it was a real low point in my life.
seasidelife · 23/12/2017 00:04

I want to be strong enough to contribute but I can't type the words, it just hurts too much right now and I don't want it to be real... K1092902 you are not alone Flowers

FallenPetalsSummerDew · 23/12/2017 00:30

Certainly been through a few ups and downs! Bullied throughout school years - poor self esteem in adulthood and crippling depression that found me actively suicidal a few months ago. Such a terrifyingly dark place to be and I dread ever going back there again.
Miscarrying my 3rd child (later went on to have twins) and needing emergency surgery as I nearly died.
Dh going to prison for a crime he didn't commit.
Losing my darling GF to a stroke and visiting him in hospital, he couldn't speak and I know he was trying to tell me something. All I could do was try and make him comfortable and tell him I loved him and would be back soon. He died shortly after.

calzone · 23/12/2017 00:49

These stories are heartbreaking.

Stompythedinosaur · 23/12/2017 01:05

When dd1 was born and didn't breathe, and had to be resuscitated. She is ok now.

ExploryRory · 23/12/2017 01:06

I’m not sure whether it would be miscarrying in LVL station, being shut in cupboard to prevent me leaving an ex or spending five days in a cell in a Mediterranean country because my boss lied and never got me a work permit.
Hey ho, there’s nothing that phases me today...I guess nothing else can!

ParkheadParadise · 23/12/2017 01:13

The worse experience of my life was standing in the Mortuary, praying that it wasn't my 23year old dd in there. I remember looking at DH and begging him not to say those words.

Months later when the bastard who had taken her life walking out of court laughing,weirdly had no effect on me emotionally.

BulletFox · 23/12/2017 01:21

Romans sorry.

Life can really kick the shit out of you at times.

Brewbees · 23/12/2017 01:23

Being repeatedly raped and sexually abused over three hours.

MrsGloop · 23/12/2017 01:56

The anxiety that started 3 days before my son was born, and which culminated in a nervous breakdown when he was 6 months old. I have recovered but I will never be the same person again.

MrsGloop · 23/12/2017 02:05

Strangely enough, the systematic sexual abuse I suffered at the hands of a relative, from the age of 6, pales into insignificance when compared to this. I felt - still feel - that my sons infancy was stolen from me. And I can never get it back.

QueenAmongstMen · 23/12/2017 03:24

When I was 16 I accidentally got pregnant (MAP) and my mom forced me into a termination. She forbid me from seeing my boyfriend and told me I was not to tell anyone.

The night before my termination I saw on my bed crying, all I wanted to do was run away, tun to my dad's house and ask for help (they were divorced) but I couldn't because I was too scared of what my mom would do if she knew I'd told him.

On the morning of the termination I sat in the passenger seat of the car and sobbed for the entire journey and not once did my mom ask me if I was ok. She came into the clinic with me, signed me in and then left me there whilst she went and did some shopping.

As I lay on the theatre trolley, watching the anaesthetist come at me with the anaesthetic I was screaming inside my head that I had to put an end to this, I had to tell him to stop, but I couldn't get the words out.

Word spread around school and I used to go into my lessons and there would always be "Queen is a murderer" sprawled across the blackboard and this went on for months. I dreaded going to school and I cried every day.

It all led to a downward spiral of promiscuous, shameful, destructive, rebellious behaviour and I was in a bad place for a long time. For years and years I hated myself. It's been about 18 years now since it happened and it's only in the last few years that I have managed to put it behind me to the point where I can talk about it without crying or blaming my myself.

Sometimes I look at my mom and I think, "Does she still think about it like I do? Does she have any idea of how much it affected me? Does she have any clue how much it destroyed me?"

I don't think she does though, and that's ok, it's water under the bridge now I guess.

BulletFox · 23/12/2017 03:29

Queen that's terrible

pinklemonade84 · 23/12/2017 04:35

Being woken up one night in January this year to be told my mum had fallen out of bed and was not responding (we were carers for her and had stayed over as extra back up because she was ill).

The look on my husband’s face as he pushed her back into bed and him telling me to call an ambulance.

Standing at the front door in the pitch black waiting for an ambulance and seeing the sky start to light up with flashing blue lights as the ambulance got closer.

Being told by the paramedics that there was no pulse and having to stop them performing cpr because mum had a dnr in place.

Having to sit outside her bedroom while the police examined her body and my dd started fitting.

Waiting for the funeral director to come and collect mum’s body and see her be taken out of her own home in a body bag.

Then not even 24 hours later having what I thought was a heart attack (it was a major panic attack) and then shortly after having to rush dd to a&e (on my own because my husband had to stay behind to look after my mum’s friend who had alcoholic dementia and who lived with her) because dd’s breathing had deteriorated and her being admitted to hospital for bronchiolitis

That was by far the worst day of my life so far Sad

limon · 23/12/2017 05:05

I had three miscarriages. All.missed miscarriages. We'd seen the heartbeat in the second pregnancy but the baby died by 12 weeks. I had to have a surgical evacuation but they only took blood away and I had to have a second procedure a.day later. I then al.ost.vled.to.death having dd and three weeks later.tjey found retained placenta.

TakeMe2Insanity · 23/12/2017 05:29

There is so much pain and sadness on this thread Sad my heart goes out to all of you.

2 weeks ago I went to my 20 week scan to be told my baby had died. Then I had to wait two days before I could birth which was horrible. I gave birth then haemorraged lost 2.5 litres of blood, found unconscious in the bathroom, had emergency surgery that lasted 4 hours instead of 30 mins. I remember begging the anethetist to get started as I couldn’t stay awake any longer. It’s so hard having to tell people who knew I was pregnant that I am not.

derxa · 23/12/2017 06:13

Flowers to everyone especially those who have lost children. I could write a list of some of the things that have happened to me but I'm weary of them now. OP you will get through it. Courage my friend.

Readermumof3 · 23/12/2017 06:42

Apart from losing my dad suddenly a couple of years ago, it would be yesterday. Out for my annual and rare Christmas meal with close friends, mother rings in tears. A family member, a teenager, has been diagnosed with cancer. Future and prognosis uncertain. Eldest dc is very close to this child and we've both had a sleepless night waiting to hear more news today. Life is shit sometimes.

worstdecember17 · 23/12/2017 07:04

Finding out at 25 weeks pg my baby had a muscle wasting disease and giving birth to him the next day.
Getting a phone call telling me my mother had died of a sudden heart attack at 51 then 9 months later loosing my father and a year later my brother to a muscle wasting disease.
My 14 month old being mauled by a dog and now scarred for life.
there are more but these are the ones that hurt me the most.