To ask what the worst experience of your life Is??

[K1092902]

Having a fucking awful time right now- just one thing after another. Please someone help me put things in perspective

My ds (aged 2) getting swine flu, and the GP coming to the house, checking him over, and then asking me if I had a car, which I thought was weird. When I said yes, he said "I don't think we can afford to wait for an ambulance" and just looked at me.
The only time I have ever come close to a headless chicken act, and had to stuff the panic (and my stomach) back down and focus on driving eight miles in pitch black & freezing fog to the paediatric unit who were waiting for us.
Christmas Eve 2010, still makes me feel sick. Ds is now exuberant 9yo but never want to do that again.

Most traumatising - someone jumping off a motorway bridge in front of my car.

Saddest - my beautiful grandmother dying.

I've had far to many sad things happen to me from an early age. An abusive and neglected childhood. Watching parents, in laws, boyfriends and step parents dying. The first was when I was 12 and it's continued ever since. Being raped by one of my best friends at the time and threatened into being repeatedly raped by him. Having to give birth to the child who i had to wait to die inside me (this was horrific!). 2 mental breakdowns the worse being when I insisted I was admitted to hospital because I was so actively suicidal (this was terrifying and haunts me!). I'm only mid 30's and it feels like too much! There are also some great things that have happened. I have an amazing family, wonderful husband and beautiful children. I have a good career ahead of me and count my blessings every day that I have food in my fridge, a roof over my head and good friends. My mental health has suffered but I manage it as best I can and I'm honest about it which for me helps.

These posts are incredible.
Makes me feel less alone....

Been hit before but the worst was being hit as my waters broke.
Did it all myself tho, bringing him up and dare I say proud of how he has turned out!! (Yes, I did it!! 😊).

Thank you OP, for starting this thread.

I'm torn between a) watching my husband dying from cancer for 18 months and hearing his last breath and b) finding out after his death that he had lied about pretty much everything...

Being beaten up as my waters broke.

Dumped that shit. Beautiful child. Solo mum. Time for me now he's in his 20s.

Gosh. These are heartbreaking. You've all been through so much.

My daughter being diagnosed with CF.

My mum died aged 53. She didn't see me married or have children. Her mother was in ill health at the time but we had to tell her. She (my grandmother) died 36 hours later. Two funerals in a week, so incredibly sad.

For me a breast cancer diagnosis 2 years after thyroid cancer then suffering a house fire and losing everything 2 weeks before I started chemo.
Never have I ever felt so lost.

Love and hugs to everyone xxxx

Being told I had a tumour on my left ovary. It was cancer but I’m ok now.

My 2 good friends died in a car accident then a year later I had to turn my dads life support machines off at 53 after a very long battle with alcoholism. A year after my dad died my best friend died every suddenly at the age of 22. In between this I started dating someone who had a female best friend that turned out to be a looney obsessed with him and thought sending me a string of abusive messages was okay after me and him split. This went on for months. It was a hellish 5 years that nearly broke me.

I've had some pretty crappy times but I say to myself: this too shall pass.
My dad and fil dying two days apart both unexpectedly. My dad dying on the Liverpool care pathway after ruptured bowel from same disease as me - we watched him die for four days.

Getting ill with same disease as my father but being ignored by consultant so lost 5 stone and started to die myself.

Ivf going wrong after 8 years of infertility- they thought I'd ruptured my bowel as dad did but too young to let die so rushed into hospital for major op - dh told I might not survive the night. Icu is one of the most horrible experiences I've had. Hospital acquired pneumonia followed afterwards and that's painful!

Miscarriage on second ivf after taking ages to convince docs to give me a second chance.

3rd ivf baby born at 26 weeks. Being rushed in labour to another hospital. Watching baby fight for life. Have to be resuscitated several times. Carelessness of two nurses and one doctor nearly causing her to die on 3 separate occasions.

My darling mum being diagnosed with dementia and watching her slowly slipping away.

Finally losing my large intestine this year but making the decision so I won't die like dad - that was ok the worse part was the infection I got in the wound that then started to pour liquid from me like a tap - it's very odd to have a waterfall from your belly button...

Sometimes I'm terrified of what might happen next. im not petty and I don't sweat the small stuff. I'm still here, I am sponsored by citalopram but there are 1000 little happinesses to look for.
Please remember op it will come to an end.

In April my dad told me he'd been given around 6 months to live (he's still fighting), in July I was made redundant just before returning from maternity (decided I'd do a professional diploma at night & change career path), in November was told my grandpa is showing signs of heart failure & early signs of dementia, then at the end of November I broke my ankle & leg in 3 places so I've had to defer my college course, cancel a trip to London and who knows when I'll be able to get down to visit my Dad next (he's 350mi away). We also have an appointment next week at paediatrics for my son who we think has celiac disease.

It's been a tough old year but day to day my son brings me so much joy with his wee smiley face and my dh works hard to support us and give us a nice life must remember this when he annoys me

Hope you're ok op.

I'm so sorry to all of you that have lost children. I can't imagine the pain, it must be like living a nightmare
In tears reading what some of you have been through.

I have tears reading these. Been feeling low myself and realise I have to stop being down and start living - life is short and it can be over in the blink of an eye. I am off to give my family a hug and tell them I love them

to everyone

November 2011 taking my then 15 year old son to A&E to be told later he had a massive brain tumour. Being told he would not live to the weekend if he didn't undergo surgery. Watching him go through 27 months of vile chemo and radiotherapy that left him physically disabled and killed him very slowly bit by bit. Sitting by his side in the hospice praying for him to die as I couldn't bear to watch my then 18 year old son suffer a single second more. Sitting with him holding him as he took his last breath.

Living without him is constantly painful but live on I must as I have another son to be here for.

My 14 Yr old DS having suicidal thoughts and starting to self harm. The thoughts peaked whilst DH was on a business trip a 12 hour flight away.
I have never felt so scared and alone.
On a brighter note, with input from CAMHS he's much better now!

Slitting my wrists aged 13 after months of torment at school - both from pupils and teachers.

Even my parents believed the lies and turned against me, not that they were particularly loving anyway.

I thought there was no other way out. I was totally alone. I had no one.

Is this helpful K1092902, or would you like to tell us a bit about what you're going through?

Struggling through the effects of infertility, multiple miscarriages and 6 cycles of ivf that just never seemed to work. Dealing with and accepting my bitterness and embracing it whilst always being told it was wrong to feel that way, that I should be happy for others.

So much pain and suffering ☹️

But I take some positivity from this that you're all still here. Fighting another day. Living another moment. Making another memory

for all x

Hope you're OK op, look after yourself

Holding my dad while he died. Failed ivf first round. Those are the two traumas of my 30s . It isnt about the awful stuff though is it? Its about finding the strength and the will to get through it as awful as it all is . Life is not easy . Thanks to all for sharing sometimes we need reminding the grass isnt always greener for everyone else.