To ask what the worst experience of your life Is??

[K1092902]

Having a fucking awful time right now- just one thing after another. Please someone help me put things in perspective

Being told I had cancer and only a small chance of survival. The subsequent treatment was also particularly gruelling. But here I am 7 years later to tell the tale. It completely redefined who I am as a person, some ways for the better, others not, but I'm still here and so grateful.

Hyperemesis Gravaridum was the worst experience of my life.

My father dying....

Severe PND and being in a psych hospital for six weeks during my baby’s first Christmas. I wanted to die.
It did get better, eventually.

Nannyplumbrocks its just the worst isnt it and unless youve been through it nobody understands

Sitting with my 28 year old brother and our entire family as we watched him draw his last breaths.

For a long time after he died, my brain wouldn't allow me to remember those few days vigil where we sat with him. Losing him has left such an enormous hole in our lives, and even now 5 years on I can't believe he's not been here to see how our lives have changed.

Also seeing the effect on my parents. They are shells of their former selves, despite the amount of support and love we've all received since his illness and subsequent death.

That being said, despite all the above sorrow, we were massively overwhelmed with utterly fierce love and devotion from friends and family everywhere. The love helped soothe out the raw awfulness of losing him.

I'm so sorry for all on this thread who have been through such awful things.

The way DD looked after she'd had surgery to remove a tumour. I was already scared that the cancer might kill her, but she looked so ill after the surgery I thought she was going to die that night.

The way I felt after a reaction to the antidepressant my GP prescribed me to get me through DD's illness. I have never been to such a dark, frightening place in my own mind. I'm still scared of the dark and have to have lights on in the house from about 4pm.

Without reading the thread, losing my mum when I was 18, and my dad four years later. Seeing my ds1 born blue and not breathing and have to be resuscitated, seeing ds2 'die' after a head injury (he didn't, and he was just unconscious but I thought he was dead for that split second), and currently, battling school following a HFA diagnosis. The level of continuous daily stress is barely tolerable.

Losing my 22 year old son to suicide. My younger son (20 at the time) found him in his flat. The subsequent phone call that my brave, strong boy made to tell my partner that we needed to come because James was dead.

Living everyday since without him is the worst thing I have ever had to do.

For me it is the serious suicidal depression that dropped on me from a great height following surgery. It came from nowhere and was totally unexpected. I felt so very very ill that I did not think I could bear to go on living and pleaded endlessly with my family to "let me go."

I cannot begin to say how very frightening it was - I never ever want to go there again. It was sheer hell.

It is beyond description and I think that no-one who has never been there can begin to understand what it is like.

I am better now, thank goodness; but I never feel entirely secure that it might not be sitting round the corner waiting to pin me to the floor again. I do not believe that I could survive a second bout.

Name changed for this.

Being accused of a crime. It was a financial crime. I absolutely had not done it. Kept thinking that it had to be dropped as I hadn't done it and there was no evidence but it kept going and going and going.

Got to court and in the opening the prosecution took it a step further and said they were going to prove something even more ridiculous and I just couldn't understand how. Sat through two months of a trial. There was a grand total of about 2 hours in relation to me, if that. I had to basically fight for my life on that stand which is tough for me - I'm shy and suffer from anxiety. I thought I would fall apart but I managed to hold it together and basically ended up cross examining the pompous useless arrogant prosecution barrister. The defining moment was when my barrister asked the investigating police officer on the stand 'what evidence do you have that Ms nameychangey did this'? and the officer said 'we have no evidence'.

I was found unanimously not guilty. The juror who had to announce it practically interrupted the judge to say it - she couldn't get it out quick enough. They had all sat there for two months seeing me breakdown on numerous occasions and at times completely fall apart.

A few years on and it still impacts my life hugely. I I definitely suffer from PTSD because of it although I don't panic quite so much when someone knocks on my door now. For a long time every time I heard a knock I was sure it was the police coming to take me away. I couldn't rationalise that it wasn't because it had happened before when I had done nothing wrong, so why wouldn't it happen again? It almost destroyed my life.

Whatever you are facing op, you will come out the other side of this. We all do. Please be kind to yourself.

When my 16 year old son lost most of his sight

I lost my dad at 54 after a long illness, that was pretty bad. But my mum was killed in a car accident suddenly last year. Only in her 60's. Not at fault. Probably worse.

Ludoole...

I sat by my mother’s bedside for two weeks over Christmas as she faded rapidly from pancreatic cancer. That sounds more romantic than it was, I changed piss bags, mopped up vomit, administered morphine and held her hand tight when it didn’t touch the pain. I played her songs we’d enjoyed together. I wept over her while she slept. I was 28. She was 56.

3 deaths in quick succession all very close family members. Undetermined. Natural causes 4 days later. Suicide. Linked to the undetermined. Remaining close family very hostile. Relationship in meltdown. Possible redundancy. Alone for Christmas. Never been so low. But somehow with the dog. Rescue. Come on so much. Determined to survive. Onwards and upwards though a very bumpy road ahead. Much love all. We will survive. God knows how. Xx

Oh Phoenix. You don't sound weak at all.

Suffering emotional abuse at the hands of my late mother. I really don't want to go into much detail, but her favourite words to hurt me, were to tell me that I was difficult to like, and impossible to love. She would also tell me that my dad felt the same ("only he doesn't have the guts to admit it"), so that's why I didn't tell him for so many years, because I feared hearing him tell me he did indeed feel the same.

Anyway it all came to a head when I was 15, and I told my dad, who was horrified. Their marriage had ended, as she had been having an affair, and I was scared I'd have to go live with her. That's why I told him. However she didn't even want me, or indeed my brothers. I went straight off to therapy then, because I had been bottling it up for so long, that I had just broken down.

We went years with barely seeing each other, except at family events, and even then she'd always find a moment to say something awful. I did a whole 'please love me, mom' dance a few times, over the years, but then I gave up.

Then in October last year, she contacted me to say she was dying, and wanted to see me (and my brothers). I went. They didn't. When I got there, she laughed at me, and called me pathetic. She only wanted to see who, if any of us, came running. This is the woman who was supposed to love me unconditionally. However I'm still glad I went, because my conscience is clear.

She died two weeks after that day, and I grieved, and I still grieve, not for the person, but the mother-daughter relationship we never got to have.

A few weeks after she died, I found out I was pregnant with my first child, and in July this year I had a daughter. I look at her, and my heart bursts with love, and it just makes me further wonder why my mother didn't love me.

And I'm still in therapy. I hope one day, I'll put it fully behind me.

nursing my mum at home in her final days from cancer in 2013, it was terrifying, 4 months from diagnosis to the end. then my father being diagnosed with parkinsons just after that and then losing sister in law to cancer 5 weeks from diagnosis to the end this year. I feel mentally exhausted. None of my friends have experienced any of this around me and I don't feel I have anyone who truly understands how I feel.

Well I was all set to share the time when I broke my wrist, yet still decided to use my new epilator, and it all got tangled and I had to call my mum to come and cut it out of my by then, patchy fanny, but I can see it’s not that sort of thread.

Sorry ladies, as you were. Much love to those who have had terrible times.

I understand happygolulu

as appropriate to all of you. These stories are breaking my heart. :(

To have a 12 hour labour knowing my baby was already gone x

As if the homelessness, alcohol dependency and drug taking/dealing wasn’t bad enough, the day I gave birth to DS1 Ex’d’p went home to ‘our’ bed with another woman. This wasn’t the first or indeed the last time. He gave me an STI in pregnancy that was also passed to DS. He then progressed to being aggressive and both financially and emotionally abusive. I had just turned 18 when DS was born, and my mother decided this was entirely my fault and cut me off. Which was nice.

I’m now happily married to a wonderful man, have 3 more amazing DC and have been free for almost 10 years. We have a gorgeous home, both have reliable jobs with decent income and our DC are happy, healthy and well rounded little people. When I feel crap I mentally go back to that place and I am so grateful for what I have now!

Heartbreaking stories on here

Mine is when dd was diagnosed with cancer.