To hate people 'calling round'

[Howsthings1234]

I know this probably seems mean but I'm getting quite frustrated with people constantly 'calling round'.

I prefer to know in advance if someone is coming round, even better, I prefer to have actually invited people!

An example - I'm heavily pregnant and felt really shattered the other day so hadn't got dressed one morning. A relative turns up unannounced bangs on the window then the door so I answer in my dressing gown assuming it's something urgent. They were 'calling round' to ask when would be a good time to 'call round' with our Christmas cards and gifts.

Another example - Knock at the door. A friend has 'called round' to see how I am as I had cancelled on going out that night as I was overtired and too pregnant to face it.

Another example - I have just had a text to inform me that another relative may 'call round' tomorrow to pick up something they left here last time they 'called round' a few days ago.

I know it's lovely that people want to see us but I just want to be able to be pregnant and huge in my pjs and dressing gown all day if I want and let the house go to pot and not worry about it!!

AIBU or does anyone actually like people 'calling round' without prior warning??!?

Mumsnet is divided on this issue. I’m with you, really don’t like it, other than my very closest family.

I'm with you, I hate people dropping in and like the chance to have a flit round and more than likely change out of my pj's (which is my preferred option when I'm at home).

I'm generally happy with a text just giving a twenty minute warning though!

I remember one of dp's friends dropping by with their kids when dd was only a couple of weeks old, that really caught me off guard as I thought anyone would know better than to do that with a newborn around! i think I was fairly polite but she's been a bit frosty with me since

God this is one of my biggest big bears. The in-laws and my parents do it often. The most annoying is when I'm in the bath and my parents shout yoohoo through the door and come right in and I have to shout I'm in the bath!! Then get out my fucking bath.

It's always when you are in your jammies or want some down time to do as you like. You need prior warning to tidy up a bit and be ready for visitors. It's so annoying and quite rude I feel.
These people tend to be open door types and I think you are either one way or the other. Not everybody likes having people round at short or no notice.
I would just reply to messages saying oh sorry I won't be home at that time but I'm free (insert a time suitable for you) or better still oh sorry I won't be home but I will swing by yours later. Turn the tables on them.

I'm with you too op. I feel exactly the same

I think it's extraordinarily rude. Fortunately, none of my friends do it.

No problem with my mum, but hate without warning from anyone else!

I’m lucky in that I live in a secure block so if I’m not expecting anyone I don’t answer the intercom.

People soon got the message..... a 2 second text to ask are you home? Isn’t hard is it? Then I can say yes or no sorry I’m busy.

I’m often “not in”

Oh god I loathe it.

One of my best friends texted me one day to say 'I just banged on your door but there was no response...' I froze in horror and was so relieved I didn't hear.

She lives in London as well, I lived 3 hours drive away (her sibling was a neighbour of mine).

Gives you the absolute shudders, I want prior notification!

I like atleast 20min warning before anyone turns up!

I hate it. Visits should be planned in advance or invitation only. Just because I’m at home does not mean I don’t have plans or I’m not busy.

I’ve trained all family and friends out of it over the years so they all know not to now.

Absolutely hate it, no one would ever dare call round to our house though!

I hate this too. My partner thinks I'm weird for feeling like this tho! I want to tidy up, but washing away, brush my hair etc 😂

I hate it. And it's so unnecessary - how hard is it to text/call beforehand? Even 10 minutes' notice is better than nothing at all.

I just don't answer the door!

I don't like it either.

It's a shame no one has yet invented some sort of hand held telecommunicative device that people could use to correspond with each other before turning up in person and banging on the door.

I never ever have people 'pop round'
Actually once my partners friend did and I ran upstairs
If I'm at home I'm in my pyjamas (don't judge) so to me, it's my worst nightmare!

I don't like it. I wish I was a warm and jolly open door type but it's just not me.
If someone genuinely is in desperate need of a cuppa and chat that's ok, but generally don't like it.
My family don't tend to just turn up. I have one lovely but lonely neighbour. She knocked the other night when we were all in our pjs asking if my daughter was allowed to go to the shops with her and pick some sweets.
I could see she was having a terrible day and just wanted company. I did invite her in for a cuppa but felt a bit weird as my house was upside down and we were all in our nightwear.

I like it.
Having said that, only close friends ever do it and I am always pleased to see them.

I hate this!!!!

My in laws always 'just call' and it really irritates me... why can you just not send a text to see if the house is tidy to see if it suits!

People know never to turn up without prior planning. I do not do well with spontaneous visitors at ALL.

Hate it. All sorts of random turn up at my door. It's horrible.

I reckon it's a good 10 years since anyone has 'popped round' to see me without prior arrangement, I think I would be horrified!

Nope, I hate it! I am far too busy for people to 'pop round'
Most of the time I don't answer my phone because I feel disturbed.
I think Id go nuts if somebody just knocked my door!

I hate it. I think it's terribly rude to just turn up at someone's front door- I would never do it - no matter who it is!

Luckily it's not the done thing among my family or friends.

Ditto people who just wander in and out if others houses. When i met DH his mum had a key and would let herself in as she liked. I put a bloody stop to that.

Agree OP. I hate it. So bloody rude and thoughtless. Convenient for them but inconvenient for you —but they dont care—

I just dont answer the door now if I’m not expecting anyone. I get enough bother from people selling stuff, trying to convert me, casing the joint and asking for directions without any ‘poppers-in.’

I suspect if you drew a VEN diagram, poppers-in would overlap with people who are always late and cheeky fuckers; i.e. it’s all about them.