To hate people 'calling round'

[Howsthings1234]

I know this probably seems mean but I'm getting quite frustrated with people constantly 'calling round'.

I prefer to know in advance if someone is coming round, even better, I prefer to have actually invited people!

An example - I'm heavily pregnant and felt really shattered the other day so hadn't got dressed one morning. A relative turns up unannounced bangs on the window then the door so I answer in my dressing gown assuming it's something urgent. They were 'calling round' to ask when would be a good time to 'call round' with our Christmas cards and gifts.

Another example - Knock at the door. A friend has 'called round' to see how I am as I had cancelled on going out that night as I was overtired and too pregnant to face it.

Another example - I have just had a text to inform me that another relative may 'call round' tomorrow to pick up something they left here last time they 'called round' a few days ago.

I know it's lovely that people want to see us but I just want to be able to be pregnant and huge in my pjs and dressing gown all day if I want and let the house go to pot and not worry about it!!

AIBU or does anyone actually like people 'calling round' without prior warning??!?

YANBU. It's awful. Absolutely hate it!!!

I’m in a minority of one, but I love it. I don’t care how untidy my house is or if I’m in my PJs. I’m always happy to put the kettle on / open the wine.

Accidentally god yes, those who are in and out of each others houses. I’d never come across this before until I met my ex. ex’s mother and father let themselves in whilst we were mid-shag once. Red faces all round. She used to turn up at stupid o’clock to do our garden too. Just why?

I also hate it. My mum gets really pissed of that she's not allowed to just 'pop round when she feels like it'. My in-laws did it once just after I had DS and they've not done it since. I don't mind people coming round at all but I need prior warning.

My mum has a key for when I'm not in and I had to ask her not to let herself in when I'm in - that really irritates me.

I hate this!!!! We don't have family nearby so this never being an issue with relatives but I wouldn't like it even from my own parents! I have a few friends who could do this 1-2 per year, just a 5 minutes to bring/collect something but it's still very annoying for me. Can't do anything as it's obvious when we are at home. I'm so glad there are people who feel the same!

Agree OP, hate it

Argh, this happened to me today, got home from work to find my MIL car outside. And instant feeling of annoyance surged through me, that OH hadn't told me she was there.
And the other week she "popped round" when I was doing some decorating and was concerned that I might have been lonely doing it on my own. No I bloody am not and don't appreciate you just turning up. she is also a "cooee" through the letter box kinda person

I hate it

Oh thinking about it, a few weeks ago there was banging on my door at 10.30pm. I had an ex go a bit psycho when I left him nearby so I was frightened and called 999.

Being on the phone to them emboldened me enough to go down the stairs and open the door, it was my lovely, sprightly 86 year old neighbour who had taken in a package for me.

So 999 were reassured, I did actually sit down on the pavement for a few secs to calm down and neighbour held my hand (I didn't mind about the time, I only minded I didn't know it was her)

God YANBU. Even my mum knows to text before she pops round. If the buzzer goes and I'm not expecting anyone or a delivery I get really pissed off. I'm also heavily pregnant so can sympathise with the wanting to sit about in your jammies without being disturbed.

I'm with you all the way, OP.
Can't stand unannounced visits.

I could be having a cry over something, heaving into the toilet, arguing with DH, or just having a fabulous time with a nice cuppa in hand. Who knows? Just don't disturb my flow and catch me off guard.

If you knock on my door and

A: I haven’t invited you or
B: you haven’t made an appointment

Then I’m not opening my door.

I don’t care who you are or if you can hear me in my house. As far as you’re concerned, I’m not home.

Bye

It's not the end of the world, but I don't like it much, primarily because I am usually still in bed on a day off, in the middle of cleaning, the house is a mess, the kitchen a sight to behold. No one wants to be caught out like that, even if the pop arounders say they don't mind.

I get a spidey feeling that they WANT to catch me out!

I would never drop in unannounced to anyone. It is just pure manners to text and see if they are in and would it be ok. I expect that now for myself, and will forever more. My house, my rules ha ha.

I hate this too. Never happens as everyone knows not to!

My MIL loves unannouced visits and thinks I am very strange. She doesn't hold it against me but thinks I'm crazy.

I hate it too.
Unless absolutely necessary.
A casual , I was passing is no excuse , ring first .

Not even my closest family would dream of just turning up. And likewise. Thank god for the fellow introverts,

Absolutely agree, I need notice and lots of it! Luckily we’re in a flat so can hide when the buzzer goes! Thankfully it happens rarely.

I hate it too.

I don't answer the door to unannounced guests.

Times are different now. Most of us have smartphones and the like.

In the past it was a popping in thing because there was no other way to announce the visit!

Unacceptable now really when you think about it. It is rude and inconsiderate IMO.

It's Christmas. People call round at odd times. They don't expect you to look like a supermodel. Get over it. Answer the door in your dressing gown and say hi. Exchange gifts then say I'm really knackered growing this little 'un, then say cheerio. No need to be rude. Just smile and wave.

I hate it and internally rage but after about 2-3 minutes I think sod it - and either stick the kettle on or get the wine open and then almost always feel grateful they've bothered to come and bother me.

I never answer my front door unless I know who it is and they are either invited and expected, or they are clearly making a delivery.

So, although yes YANBU in hating it, YABU in allowing it.

My MIL used to do this until she realised I would continue walking around my house, knowing she could see me through the window and still would not answer the door.

I couldn’t care if people turn up, they take me as they find me. I rarely get proper dressed at the weekend, I just wear slouchy clothes. If any one turns up then they see me in slouchy clothes. It’s no big deal, they haven’t come to inspect my wardrobe.

the door in your dressing gown

Funny place to have a door.....😂😂😂

I really don’t like it.to extent I’ll pretend not to be in.i find it intrusive and incredibly rude
One time someone I know popped by,I ignored the door bell,the knocking,only for them to climb into garden and gawp through window.shouting til I answered
One time was cleaning,with windows fully open.friend shouts in oh are you busy?
yes says I. Just got to crack on finish this
Oh I’ll not stay long says they
Then her and her kids march in, ignoring the wet floor, and immediately said they were hungry.