Makeup as gifts

[BadFeminist]

DD is 4.
This year the majority of her Xmas gifts are makeup.

Since starting school DD loves makeup, (and shit American accents and hair flipping) and this is what she has asked for.

She will watch YouTube tutorials on makeup (which I support because it's either that or that god awful Ava Isla and whatever the third one is and I cannot handle their mothers voice without breaking something) and really just wants to play and be "made up" with glittery shit and pink lipstick.

I don't do makeup, I use the same Superdrug eyeliner I've been using for ten years and my one bottle of foundation lasts about two years, so I'm a complete failure as a mother clearly.

Today discussing what the kids are getting in Work one of the wives of a colleague made hell of a face and said "oh god" but when I asked what she meant she just shrugged it off and said "oh nothing, I just think that's not really the done thing" but wouldn't elucidate any further.

Is is THAT big of a deal?

So fucking bored man 😆

I don't know what a non newtonian substance is. Maybe I need to watch more make up tutorials.

Oh dear, i find this mildy depressing that girls at 4yo are watching makeup videos. I wear some makeup and used to enjoy watching my DD playing with it when younger, but at 4!

4 is too young for make up IMO. 10 years too young IMO.

She could have books, jigsaws, arts and crafts stuff, musical instruments, dolls, anything. Make up at 4? WTF? I have a number of little girls under 10 to buy for, and no WAY would Ibuy make up for them! Not even for the ones that are a bit older (11-12...)

I don’t really see how it’s any different to my 3 year old painting her nails. She loves playing with my brushes and pretending to put make up on. I drew her brows in the other day and she looked hilarious 😂

What other books does she enjoy OP?
Anything Roald Dahl, she's got a big princess book her gran bought her that she's gone off, the eyewitness encyclopaedia of mammals and all the general Julia Donaldson. I've hidden hairy mclairy for a bit.

She does sound older than 4-does she have older siblings?
Friend group is older because of ds, school friends are the same age
*
My dd youngest of 4 didn’t show an interest in make up until more like 12, and wouldn’t have read Pullman until 10 or so.*
I definitely read it before secondary school. I'm sure I was DSs age.

Yeah your colleague was spot on. No to lots of makeup gifts, and no to YouTube (in general, but definitely makeup tutorials). She's 4, not 14! Way too young, and the alternative does not have to be a different YouTube video

Also don't get why starting school has led to an obsession with makeup and American accents - how are they connected?!

It's nobody elses business what you buy your child. If you're happy with it great. My little one is 21months and has a daft little make up pallet from the £ shop and one of my old moisturiser pots with Oilatum Junior in it that stops my own things from getting trashed while I'm sat trying to stick my face back into a reasonable order.

On a personal level, I think a lot of children enjoy getting poshed up, so a bit of lipgloss or nail polish etc isn't going to do any harm. I'd be concerned and trying to distract from a make up and tutorial obsession at that age, as to my mind, it all links into body image, and I think 4 is too young to be worrying about such things. I'm a self confessed fusspot though, so I probably should retreat the the 'That Parent' corner and shush myself

My dd is mainly getting makeup and cash but she's 14 rather than 4.

It's a shame that she has been sucked into YouTube make up shite (at 4 !) that my 14 year old has been brainwashed by and I think many would think that snd be shocked by your revelation tbh

Read what Zadie Smith has written about the makeup tax. It's not just a waste of time, it's a way of keeping women back.

If she's bright enough to be enjoying The Subtle Knife, don't let her aspirations and abilities be hampered in this way.

Also don't get why starting school has led to an obsession with makeup and American accents - how are they connected?!

Well pre September she wasn't fussed on makeup and idolised Rey from Star Wars and wanted her heart kept short, American accents weren't a thing.

Post September: Star Wars is for boys (don't get me fucking started on that shit because it makes me rage), makeup is life and I'm not longer allowed to cut her hair.

There's a lot of emphasis on there being a girl/boy divide which I have actively avoided until now. It's frustrating but I just spend my days correcting her.

You focused on the American accent part of all my responses. I agree some do accents but alongside being totally fascinated by make up and into YouTube make up videos? No.

She can identify the difference between a red kite and a buzzard in the sky and knows how meat is produced. Also she can define what a non Newtonian substance is and its properties.

Really?

My DD is the same age and can count to 20, academically she's average in her class.

I love makeup and spend far too much on it, I've even bought my 12 year old some mid-range bits for Christmas.

I think four is too young sorry.

I think double digits is more reasonable. I was 11 when I was allowed my first mascara and lipgloss (clear). Built from there.

I wouldn't want my DD watching makeup tutorials at 4. I don't think it sets good values personally.

Am I the only person on here who's first thought was 'I hope you haven't got cream carpets OP'? .

If she does like make-up, why not introduce her to the theatre, dance or am.dram then she can explore related topics away from an ipad screen?

My daughter always loved make up and would have liked it for presents at this age. I only let have a small amount of play make up until she was older but she still was fascinated by it. I had concerns about the message given to young girls by letting them wear makeup when they are very young. However in retrospect, I think she just liked the creative / art aspect of it, combined with the natural narcissm of a happy child.

I rarely wear it and we've always reminded her how beautiful she is with or without make up but she is now (15) an expert from watching Youtube tutorials. She told me I'd blended mine wrong (when I'd put some on for an interview) and she was right - it looked much better once she'd dabbed it with a sponge. She loves to wear a full face of make up on any occasion, I leave her to it, only complaining if she wears chipped dark nail varnish, which I think looks grubby.

OP - your daughter might also like some of these Top Model books, which are like colouring books for make up obsessed kids (and adults):
www.amazon.co.uk/Depesche-Top-Model-Colouring-6921E/dp/B00JIVBCKE/ref=sr_1_5?keywords=top+model&tag=mumsnetforum-21&ie=UTF8&qid=1513877575&sr=8-5

When you said you got the make up from a distributor, it's not Poonique is it?

Oh god no. Mum gave me a kylie cosmetics lip kit for her and I tried it (I try everything before she plays) and it's foul so that went straight in the bin

Carpets are cream indeed.

Second posters saying no to Youtube. God forbid we come across as "uncool" or stifling these days but I'm a young mum and I now never let my littles ones watch Youtube. It's really unregulated and there's a lot of mindless crap on there.

Is this how kids are growing up now? My five year old son is getting a bike and toys for Christmas. You talk about YouTube like there's no alternative. Do you realise she doesn't have to watch YouTube at all? You're actually allowed to say no to stuff...
The "artistry" is a weak justification to be honest. Four year olds can be artistic without make up tutorials.
This is just all so bizarre to me.

4? Surely this isn’t a wind up? I don’t know any 4-year olds that know what make up actually is. If not a wind up then only you know your dd best op so if you agree with the whole make up thing then go for it.

I think the OP is trying to get in line for the "most amazing parent" of the year award

We get it, your child read fluently, has a yearly pass to museum, is interested in astro-physics bladibla.

You must be such a proud mummy, well done you! We are in awe. Truly we are.

Have you not seen her others? She's just trying to make the Daily Mail!

My daughter is 4, and is not allowed on YouTube so wouldn't see the videos. However she really likes the idea of make-up. She is very stereotypically "girly", despite us giving her a wide range of toys and activities. She likes the idea of make-up and has been playing make up on her barbie head for a year or so. She first experienced that at a messy play group, and wanted to do it at home.

This year she asked for make up to play with at home. I told her that it would only be for playing with at home if she did get it, not for going out with. I don't see the harm in that to be honest. It is the same as playing dress up to me. She adores dressing up and has tons of different outfits. I can't see it is any different. She enjoys pretending to be someone else, it is not connected to a wish to be beautiful, she just likes to play pretend.

I have noticed the complete inconsistencies between all the threads, but I am bored too

If she does like make-up, why not introduce her to the theatre, dance or am.dram then she can explore related topics away from an ipad screen?

YouTube has to be streamed on the TV so I know what she's accessing.

There's a local drama club but she's too little at the moment, definitely when she's old enough, I adored my drama club.

She does love to sing and I often find ten minute video clips of half an eyeball as she's recording herself singing or "presenting" on my phone, which is quite cute.

I think my main reticence with policing YouTube is that those 15 minutes in the morning or a bit longer on a Sunday where it's all dead time before we go out and do something, is that they are such good kids, if it's something they have invested an interest in them why not allow it?

I tell both of my children how important they are, how their opinions matter and that they should always be proud of who they are, and although I do do that irritating Mum thing of telling them how beautiful they both are I try to limit that because I'd rather they put the onus on who they are.

For example, this weekend DS was complaining about a child who has really taken a liking to him over this Box Fort thing ds likes (on YouTube, I know) and DS said how annoying it is and we had a bloody long talk about how this child is making an effort with DS and how disappointed I am that DS would brush this child off because he doesn't belong to his immediate friend group, and DS has been given strict instruction to make an effort and not be so unkind.

Policing school aged children is so fucking exhausting with all the peer pressure and the last thing I want is for them to then come home and have me telling them who they can and can't be.

And at least if dd becomes a makeup artist I'll look fabulous in my forties.