Makeup as gifts

[BadFeminist]

DD is 4.
This year the majority of her Xmas gifts are makeup.

Since starting school DD loves makeup, (and shit American accents and hair flipping) and this is what she has asked for.

She will watch YouTube tutorials on makeup (which I support because it's either that or that god awful Ava Isla and whatever the third one is and I cannot handle their mothers voice without breaking something) and really just wants to play and be "made up" with glittery shit and pink lipstick.

I don't do makeup, I use the same Superdrug eyeliner I've been using for ten years and my one bottle of foundation lasts about two years, so I'm a complete failure as a mother clearly.

Today discussing what the kids are getting in Work one of the wives of a colleague made hell of a face and said "oh god" but when I asked what she meant she just shrugged it off and said "oh nothing, I just think that's not really the done thing" but wouldn't elucidate any further.

Is is THAT big of a deal?

I agree with your work mate, sorry but make up on a 4 year old looks awful. She’s a small child, my kids are 11 and 14 and have only just started experimenting with a bit of lip gloss.

What’s a 4 year old doing watching YouTube videos anyway? Buy the child some toys.

If you were so sure about your own response top this, why are you posting the question? Wouldn't you just dismiss your colleague's wife's opinion as not worth thinking about?

Oh I'm totally sure that me letting dd dabble with some glitter is 100% fine.

But I've got an hour left of work, I'm now alone and this just happened. Colleagues wife dropped in to pick up a gift from a customer and I was mid chat with the other wife (who also was surprised by her reaction because she doesn't think it's a particularly crazy notion either)

I'm not asking for parenting tips or because I'm having an existential crisis.

I could post about how many satsumas I've eaten today instead of you want?

I think it's completely ridiculous, and it would honestly break my heart to see a 4 year old tarted up. None of the 4 year old around me even know what make-up is. They do love the occasional face-paint (butterfly or tiger!), but real make-up? why?

OP, if your daughter was real and had has many interests as you claim she has, you would have no trouble finding her appropriate gifts.

I dread the day when Primary Schools will have to ban make-up because parents think life is a beauty pageant. Hopefully they will be banned too in this country by the way.

Thing is, you say she "likes it". She's 4. Does she like it, or is she simply copying from the screen. My toddler jumps around "baaing" like a maniac because Timmy Time has caught her attention.

Anyway.. Regardless of whatever interest it is (and yes makeup for young girls is a controversial one, like it or not) YABU to focus all of your attention on one interest, especially IMO one that is a stereotype of females that young girls are already highly susceptible to. You should be getting her a range of gifts at that age to encourage budding interests and of course to enjoy them.

Bit of a U turn from your initial post of the majority of presents being make up.

Not really, dd has 3 main gifts and then stocking fillers. Maybe 20 overall.
Main gifts are a big fold up artist studio thing, a tablet from her gran and then this makeup set. The stocking fillers are mostly lush bubble bars and hair clips with butterflies on them.

Also, ‘since starting school’ she’s liked it and American accents etc...is there a correlation because no 4 year olds I have ever taught have watched YouTube videos about make up and are that into it!
Eh? I feel like you're not a teacher then because I've had this American accent conversation with a lot of the mums at school. Dd doesn't watch cartoons particularly and aside from kids films most of the Youtubers she watches are UK based.

Is OP not talking about makeup just for fun though? I'm sure she wasn't meaning on a regular daily basis?

You asked if it was that big of a deal, so we answered you. You're obviously bored at work!

Okay, cross post. So she has a range of interests, so lots of potential gift options.

I still don't think makeup tutorials are age appropriate by the way, personally, because I think they are not able to be viewed in context by a 4 year old, so I think it would encourage stereotypes of grown women. Not that wearing makeup is bad, I wear loads, just that when our DD's aren't old enough to understand the wider nuances and world working and I would worry I was stifling her individuality. Might be overthinking that though.

I agree with OP re: American accents. It a big trend among that age group.

YABU. There are better things to teach her at that age.

You're assuming we don't have annual passes to local national trust centres and that we don't visit the science Natural history Museums in London at least once a year, and local museums very often.

She can identify the difference between a red kite and a buzzard in the sky and knows how meat is produced. Also she can define what a non Newtonian substance is and its properties.

I'd say her education is pretty well rounded. 👍🏻

I agree with the above poster to encourage he face painting. There are some fantastic tutorials on you tube of those too for boys and girls. Face painting is less grown up and more 'play'. I trained as one and my kids are 10 and I have not been near them with face paint for a good few years, so it's more age appropriate for a four year old.

Make up does seem so grown up and so tied up with women and self esteem. I wear make everyday, when I go out. Supermarket, school run etc. More of an evening but my 10 year daughter isn't allowed near it. Although this year In her stocking is child's unicorn shimmering lip gloss and child's glittery nail Polish from Primark. I hate seeing teenagers with beautiful clear skin plastered in make up. It's depressing.

Watch a film or a cartoon. Look at cake decorating videos. Give the make up a swerve OP.

4? 4? I certainly would have puled a cats bum face
What is the world coming too.
Why post on AIBU if you are so certain you are doing the right thing?

Never mind the make-up- I'm more shocked that you are reading a four year old 'The Subtle Knife.' Why???

Because that's DSs choice of book and she is adamant she sits with us. DS can read himself but it's nice to do things together if an evening iykwim? She prefers singing when I put her to bed

I thinks your dd sounds fine OP and you have your answer. Makeup for fun isn't going to harm your child. I sometimes think it's the dc who have overly strict parents and impossible standards end up with the problems later in life not to mention the rebelling!!

Personally, I think it's way too young. My DD is 8 and also talks about make up and I simply tell her she's too young to wear it. She grumbles, but there's no way I'm letting her putting make up on at her age.

As for the YouTube videos, mine only get to watch YouTube kids and are allowed videos once a week for an hour (because the dross they want to watch is enough to rot anyone's mind! Adults unwrapping kids' toys anyone??!). Perhaps that makes me 'boring' but I don't really care.

But your DD watches those videos because you have introduced her to them, I doubt she wouldn't have discovered them by herself. So if you're happy with your choices, then that's fine. But a lot of people don't want their 4 year olds wearing make-up so you'll probably have to get used to a few raised eyebrows.

The Subtle Knife?

Oh and BTW I meant to say I have no problem with toddlers playing with makeup, my DD takes mine all the time and I'll be getting her some play makeup to put in her Christmas stocking. It's the tutorials and the "majority of presents" thing that felt off to me.

Because that's DSs choice of book and she is adamant she sits with us

Right. So you're not 'halfway through The Subtle Knife' with her, you're letting her listen in to a book that's not age-appropriate, given it contains both violent and sexual content.

I can't get hung up about a bit of lip gloss or whatever (though I think a proper make-up palette for a 4 year old is ridiculous) but I do think it's very odd that you're allowing her to sit in while you read a book that's very much written for young adults.

Is this some kind of stealth boat about how advanced your DD is?

Non newtonian substance? You mean you've made slime with her?

You are beginning to sound strange now OP!

Is OP not talking about makeup just for fun though? I'm sure she wasn't meaning on a regular daily basis?

Oh god yeah, she's not leaving the house in it and although I'm aware makeup these days is safe for skin I don't like her wearing it for more than an hour before it comes off.

You asked if it was that big of a deal, so we answered you. You're obviously bored at work!
So fucking bored man.

I agree with OP re: American accents. It a big trend among that age group.

Why though, it's always with the hand on hip and hair flip too.

But your DD watches those videos because you have introduced her to them, I doubt she wouldn't have discovered them by herself.
One of her friends at school has a YouTube channel apparently and this is where it has come from.
The only traffic YouTube gets from me is funny cat videos.

What other books does she enjoy OP?

She does sound older than 4-does she have older siblings?

My dd youngest of 4 didn’t show an interest in make up until more like 12, and wouldn’t have read Pullman until 10 or so.

Ok, cross posts, you’re reading it with an older sibling.

Is this some kind of stealth boat about how advanced your DD is?

Id say she's average. I'm literally answering questions I'm being asked.

Again: very bored.