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AIBU?

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Original poster

Makeup as gifts

258 replies

BadFeminist · 21/12/2017 16:17

DD is 4.
This year the majority of her Xmas gifts are makeup.

Since starting school DD loves makeup, (and shit American accents and hair flipping) and this is what she has asked for.

She will watch YouTube tutorials on makeup (which I support because it's either that or that god awful Ava Isla and whatever the third one is and I cannot handle their mothers voice without breaking something) and really just wants to play and be "made up" with glittery shit and pink lipstick.

I don't do makeup, I use the same Superdrug eyeliner I've been using for ten years and my one bottle of foundation lasts about two years, so I'm a complete failure as a mother clearly.

Today discussing what the kids are getting in Work one of the wives of a colleague made hell of a face and said "oh god" but when I asked what she meant she just shrugged it off and said "oh nothing, I just think that's not really the done thing" but wouldn't elucidate any further.

Is is THAT big of a deal?

OP posts:
outofmydepth45 · 21/12/2017 22:40

I've not read every post but assumed it was a typo and you were going to say DD is 14, would I have brought my 4yo make-up ? Nope. She did used to chalk her face though I'm a phase at 4 though.

I am very wary of YouTube there's some odd stuff on their OP

TabbyTigger · 21/12/2017 23:35

Aside from the makeup, so many things you’re mentioning sound ridiculously grown up for a four year old.

But as your question is about makeup: I wouldn’t personally buy makeup for my child at such a young age, because I do think it promotes the importance of beauty. I also wouldn’t let my child access YouTube at such a young age because I see it mostly as a social media platform - it is watching videos about other people and their lives, and I think that creates a norm to compare oneself to these edited, filtered lives. My DD who is 5 has probably seen less than ten YouTube videos in her life - all will have been videos of her brother and sister in dance performances and shows.

I think now it isn’t possible for you to say no to YouTube/makeup because you’ve decided it’s fine. And that is entirely your decision, yes, but in my house it would not be fine.

I also think this didn’t belong in AIBU if you weren’t actually asking whether or not you were BU :)

Wibblywobblyfoo · 22/12/2017 07:40

4??? Are you kidding? My 14 year old is getting male up for the first time this year. Why the fuck you you letting her put make up on??????

Fresta · 22/12/2017 07:51

It is possible for a parent to say NO to a four year old!

StrawBasket · 22/12/2017 08:03

It is strongly recommended to say NO to a four year old! What are parents for if not to guide their children!

I am sure that little girl is just pretty, and no need for make-up to "improve" her perfect face.

Original poster
BadFeminist · 22/12/2017 08:15

Listen to them:
Just going to pop some concealer here to cover this blemish
Just going to contour here to slim the bridge of my nose
Just going to highlight here to lift and bring out my cheekbones
Just going to create the illusion of fuller lips by doing xyz
To be fair those aren't the types she watches.

I am sure that little girl is just pretty, and no need for make-up to "improve" her perfect face.

She's very pretty, but the makeup isn't because she wants to change that, she just likes a bit of glitter on her eyelids. It's certainly not seen as improving anything.

OP posts:
AutumnalTed · 22/12/2017 08:25

My 4 year old sister destroys my makeup when I’ve gone out trying it all on. She looks like a clown, she thinks she looks like a princess. She doesn’t watch makeup videos, she watches people unboxing kinder eggs? God knows why. I think probably better to get your daughter stuff that won’t hurt her skin and let her play, get her some snazaroo face paints too!

Original poster
BadFeminist · 22/12/2017 08:30

she watches people unboxing kinder eggs? God knows why. I think probably better to get your daughter stuff that won’t hurt her skin and let her play, get her some snazaroo face paints too!

Unboxing videos are the worst, there's a whole album on my phone of both kids attempting unboxings with the "hey guys, sooo today we have..." 😂

Most of my stuff is diamond FX, snazarroo i find is quite harsh on skin and the black and greens stain like motherlovers.

OP posts:
WetsTheVet · 22/12/2017 08:31

Massive overreaction from a lot of posters I think. Projecting their adult presumptions about make up on to the child's - the 4 year old won't see it as trying to look beautiful or sexy, she just enjoys the videos and sees the make up as art supplies you're allowed to put on your face. If she enjoys that at home and the videos aren't peddling a 'only make up makes you beautiful' message then so what?

notafish · 22/12/2017 08:42

This is why DD being such a girly girl is so terrifying. 😂

No, I think you're in awe of your DD being a 'girly-girl' because you weren't and that's why you're encouraging it.

You say she wasn't interested until she started school so how do you know if this is a true interest of hers or something she feels compelled to do to fit in at school? If you keep encouraging it to the extent you are, the other interests will fall away because the 'females must look like beutuful objects' message is the one that is pervasively reflected back at her by society.

JustHope · 22/12/2017 08:51

I see the impact and influence this stuff has on my teen DD and it’s scary. There is no way I would be encouraging a 4 year olds obsession with makeup tutorials on YouTube. It has made me feel even more determined to keep DD2 away from it for as long as possible so she can enjoy being a child without worrying about how she looks.

PasstheStarmix · 22/12/2017 10:14

www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/B01G982JDM/ref=mp_s_a_1_11?keywords=children+make+up+sets&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&tag=mumsnetforum-21&ie=UTF8&qid=1513937348&sr=8-11

OP I thought this was so cute and lots of little glittery bits; link above. I would have LOVED this when I was little. I think the way people are going on you'd think you'd bought your dd a full adult makeup set. And to those commenting on the clown like look child makeup is meant to be garish and fun like 'face paints' it's not supposed to be perfectly applied or that may require the kind of tutorials they are incorrectly accusing your dd of watching!

PinkAvocado · 22/12/2017 11:11

“She just likes a bit of glitter on her eyelids”

So you’ve built up a whole thread about a bit of glitter...

Hmm
PasstheStarmix · 22/12/2017 11:36

Pink I don't think the thread was because OP was worried over the makeup I took that it was because of her colleague over reaction to a alittle glitter. I'm sure she didn't come on here for the same reaction from so many people.

PinkAvocado · 22/12/2017 11:59

No the colleague and most of us reacted to the ‘most of her gifts’ and the Youtube obsession with makeup vloggers which intentionally implied a lot more than a bit of glitter. The OP knew exactly what the response would be I think.

Original poster
BadFeminist · 22/12/2017 12:03

No the colleague and most of us reacted to the ‘most of her gifts’ and the Youtube obsession with makeup vloggers which intentionally implied a lot more than a bit of glitter. The OP knew exactly what the response would be I think.

No, I just underestimated how much of a mountain some people can make over a molehill.

No one in real life, bar my colleagues wife, have had the reactions of this site. But I suppose you can up the bravado when you're anonymous can't you? 😂

OP posts:
PasstheStarmix · 22/12/2017 12:20

OP what ever people's reaction only you know your daughter and what she does and doesn't enjoy. You get to make decisions for your own child and nobody else does. They don't know the ins and outs of your life and what led to every single decision. Have a lovely Christmas and I bet your DD's face will light up when she gets all her sparkles and glitzy bits. As long as she is happy who cares what people think?
There's so many neglected unhappy kids in this world and I think everybody's time and energy doesn't need to be spend here discussing a little girl who sounds very well taken care of. Xmas Smile

PasstheStarmix · 22/12/2017 12:20

spent*

PinkAvocado · 22/12/2017 12:22

OP wanted it talked about. They knew how people would react. It’s no accident it is posted in AIBU.

Original poster
BadFeminist · 22/12/2017 12:31

OP wanted it talked about. They knew how people would react. It’s no accident it is posted in AIBU.

I like how you refuse to acknowledge me directly but seem to want to personally insult me real bad.

I appreciate the effort, Xmas Wink

OP posts:
SilverDoe · 22/12/2017 12:57

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

twiney · 22/12/2017 13:05

Look OP, you ARE a bad feminist, and not in a "I'm a cool and forward-thinking relaxed feminist" kind of way.

You support your daughter watching vloggers whose passion in life is painting over their face to look more attractive. At the age of 4.

The response on here has been almost unanimous. It's unhealthy and you're setting her up for growing up to think her natural face isn't interesting or worthy enough.

If you're happy with that, under the pretense that somehow it's "creative", then go for it. But its not creative, it does mean your daughters mind has been polluted, and you are defensive.

CurryWorst · 22/12/2017 14:10

No, I just underestimated how much of a mountain some people can make over a molehill

No, you talked up a mountain and then shrieked at everyone that its a molehill as if they did that. AGAIN.
Xmas Hmm

AfunaMbatata · 22/12/2017 14:13

It’s pretty shitty parenting tbh.

dentydown · 22/12/2017 14:30

On amazon there are some silicon makeup heads for practicing on. Could you buy her one of those for a “new year” present then she can practice on that instead.
If you get her into face painting and she’s good at it you could hire her out at parties! Grin.

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