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AIBU?

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Original poster

Makeup as gifts

258 replies

BadFeminist · 21/12/2017 16:17

DD is 4.
This year the majority of her Xmas gifts are makeup.

Since starting school DD loves makeup, (and shit American accents and hair flipping) and this is what she has asked for.

She will watch YouTube tutorials on makeup (which I support because it's either that or that god awful Ava Isla and whatever the third one is and I cannot handle their mothers voice without breaking something) and really just wants to play and be "made up" with glittery shit and pink lipstick.

I don't do makeup, I use the same Superdrug eyeliner I've been using for ten years and my one bottle of foundation lasts about two years, so I'm a complete failure as a mother clearly.

Today discussing what the kids are getting in Work one of the wives of a colleague made hell of a face and said "oh god" but when I asked what she meant she just shrugged it off and said "oh nothing, I just think that's not really the done thing" but wouldn't elucidate any further.

Is is THAT big of a deal?

OP posts:
Sarahh2014 · 21/12/2017 18:33

I've been using make up since I was 14 but if I had a daughter I wouldn't buy her it til at least 10

StrawBasket · 21/12/2017 18:34

The more I think about it, the sadder I become about parents happy to tell their 4 year old that she is not pretty enough, and make-up is needed to improve her "imperfections".

I know the OP is talking absolute nonsense when you read all her posts, but it's still a sad fact that make-up is sold to babies like that.

Original poster
BadFeminist · 21/12/2017 18:35

It upsets me a bit that girls as young as 4 are watching make up tutorials on YouTube. When I was four I tore around on my bike, I made awful perfume out of brown rose petals, I glued loo rolls to cereal boxes

She has a bike, we usually go on a bike ride on a Saturday arvo.

We've done the rose petal perfume, I cheated and poured out the end result (because the rose in our garden is not scented) and used a spritz of Lush Rose Jam bodyspray in water. That's a summer thing though and it's winter. Winter is more for baking and painting and bubbly glow stick baths.

OP posts:
ShowMePotatoSalad · 21/12/2017 18:37

Policing school aged children is so fucking exhausting with all the peer pressure and the last thing I want is for them to then come home and have me telling them who they can and can't be

You're conflating two separate issues. You can support your child while still protecting them. Exposing young children to an unregulated medium of entertainment, as well as to potentially harmful and skewed perceptions of female beauty, all the while packaging it as being "supportive" to her future career as a make up artist is utterly, utterly absurd.

GottadoitGottadoit · 21/12/2017 18:41

Gosh OP, you sound like a perfect parent what with all this craft/physical activity.

Kiki275 · 21/12/2017 18:41

I think my main reticence with policing YouTube

Hi OP, I wasn't referring to the use of you-tube as such, more honing or even sharing her interests. I saw on an earlier post that you loved horses, I'm sure you would have loved to have seen them used in a variety of contexts, such as racing, rodeo, mounted constabulary etc. If she could see make-up used in different ways then it could be a gateway to a whole host of different interests.

I completely agree with some other posts that you know your child better than anyone. At least you're aware and will be able to spot if a 'harmless' hobby is becoming image obsession etc.

Original poster
BadFeminist · 21/12/2017 18:43

*So the only choices for your 4 y/o DD are YouTube make up videos or Peppa Pig? And because she might hear swearing in the street you wouldn't think to mitigate the risks of hearing it anywhere else?

You yourself said you turn it off if there is inappropriate content. Which they would have already been exposed to. *

*YouTube video descriptions rarely warn you about inappropriate content before a video starts.

Deary me OP, please just be a troll. This is awful. You made references to goaders before by which I presume you mean people who disagree with you? If you honestly think this is normal that's fine but from an outside perspective it looks like you're projecting your childhood experiences and attempting to be too cool of a parent instead of doing what you're supposed to be doing.*

I'm confused at why I'm a troll because I've explained what I would do in a hypothetical situation that I have not yet encountered.

I've been a member on horse and hounds forum for decades and never once been called a troll. Or had so many people make such huge, life changing assumptions from such tiny statements.

I mean, I don't know how invested your life has become on these places, but honestly? Come on.

It's like you have a box, and that is where an OP has to fit regardless of what they actually say, and you people take actual pride in getting personal if that OP doesn't fit in that box.

I almost feel like had I said "oh yeah I tell my kid she's ugly and I tell her she's got to make her face fuckable" you'd all be satiated.

bearing in mind you have actual adults here bridging the gap between pink lipgloss on a CHILD to someone who guzzles cock for a living... and MY parenting is wrong.

This is a strange, but entertaining, place.

OP posts:
Original poster
BadFeminist · 21/12/2017 18:44

Gosh OP, you sound like a perfect parent what with all this craft/physical activity.

So now I'm wrong for painting and going on bike rides.

Jesus wept. This is gold.

OP posts:
lookingforthecorkscrew · 21/12/2017 18:44

Ok OP, you carry on doing what you’re doing. Honestly, why did you bother posting in the first place?

CurryWorst · 21/12/2017 18:45

Winter is more for baking and painting and bubbly glow stick baths

You know what its not for? Covering a 4 year olds face in coloured chemicals designed to make them a person more attractive.

If you had the first clue either what was in the make up or why it is used, you'd have more sense. If you had any sense, that is.

PrivatePike · 21/12/2017 18:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

peachypips · 21/12/2017 18:45

The thought of make up on a four-yr-old’s perfect skin is just horrible. And yes to previous posters wrt YouTube- my kids are 10 and 7 and have never seen it so def not a necessity.

I’m a laid-back parent but I hate the dumbing-down of children- iPads, YouTube, makeup, ugh.

Take note of the fact that almost every single person has said YABU. Does that tell you something?

crazycatgal · 21/12/2017 18:46

I think that watching beauty youtube videos from the age of 4 will damage her self esteem.

RedForFilth · 21/12/2017 18:47

My son will be 3 in February and loves playing with my makeup. In his stocking I've got him a novelty lip balm. I'm not gonna go out and buy him a bunch of makeup though. 4 is too young imo. I'd be encouraging other interests.

Original poster
BadFeminist · 21/12/2017 18:47

You're conflating two separate issues. You can support your child while still protecting them. Exposing young children to an unregulated medium of entertainment, as well as to potentially harmful and skewed perceptions of female beauty, all the while packaging it as being "supportive" to her future career as a make up artist is utterly, utterly absurd.

  1. It's not unregulated, when you stream something to a tv from a phone in your hand it's about as regulated as it can be, and if a surprise swear word does eventually pop up then that will be a channel dd can't access. Because I can do that on my YouTube account.
  1. She doesn't want to be a makeup artist, she wants to be a doctor or a nurse or a competitive eater.

I'm aware you'll probably accuse me of forcing her to have an eating disorder in the future too.

OP posts:
Original poster
BadFeminist · 21/12/2017 18:50

If you had the first clue either what was in the make up or why it is used, you'd have more sense. If you had any sense, that is.

I do, I've got it from a lovely man who's business is making bespoke palettes and distributing them all over the world, he is a client of ours. Hence how I have chosen the colour scheme.

So ner Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
BadFeminist · 21/12/2017 18:51

Ok OP, you carry on doing what you’re doing. Honestly, why did you bother posting in the first place

I already gave my reason.

Read. The. Replies.

OP posts:
CurryWorst · 21/12/2017 18:53

And why is make up used, do you think? For example, blusher. Do tell us, you seem to know everything?

Original poster
BadFeminist · 21/12/2017 18:54

That Frozen one is just creepy. Taking little girls' Disney princess fantasies and using them to encourage young girla to wear copious amounts of make up to cover their actual faces is dodgy.

So the whole why don't you encourage face paints is negated now?

Because pretty much every party I facepaint the requests are generally princesses and butterflies for girls and boys, to be honest boys come out with some weird requests.

I have an entire catalog of faces, little girls seem to like princesses, which is annoying because good glitter balm is expensive and I can go through a pot per party.

OP posts:
Original poster
BadFeminist · 21/12/2017 18:58

And why is make up used, do you think? For example, blusher. Do tell us, you seem to know everything?

I thought you didn't care, I'm a troll and blah blah blah?

And I dunno, I don't use blusher (as I already said) because I don't really wear makeup and (as I already said) DD is only getting glittery/shimmery eyeshadow and some pink lipstick.

I get dragged into the videos because some of the transformations are staggeringly impressive and it's fascinating to watch. I did try to get dd into Bob Ross but apparently it's too boring. I watch that for the same reason.

OP posts:
Original poster
BadFeminist · 21/12/2017 19:01

In his stocking I've got him a novelty lip balm.

I would be careful with cheap lip balms, they can bring up quite sore rashes. I can't wear anything like lipsyl or carmex for that reason.

(A little pot of coconut oil, almond oil and jojoba if you're asking)

OP posts:
Kolonya · 21/12/2017 19:02

Hmmm, interesting thread. I've read all of it but actually think all your responses (which are defensive but do illustrate your involved parenting) don't really change my initial reaction, which is that it's wrong. My 5 year old would not be allowed to watch such videos and though mine is desperate for make up, she has one small Disney set which she uses without a mirror so ends up looking like clown. And that's because i won't indulge it. The American accent thing I guess is a phase and is easily picked up but those videos are terrible. I'd stop those if I were you, bit of a no brainer actually. Hope that helps!

IveGotBillsTheyreMultiplying · 21/12/2017 19:03

If you had any aesthetic sensibilities at all, you wouldn’t be watching Bob Ross Grin

Original poster
BadFeminist · 21/12/2017 19:05

If you had any aesthetic sensibilities at all, you wouldn’t be watching Bob Ross 

Oi, I was trying to pass on a tradition I had with my mother. I was deeply upset.

And everybody needs a happy little tree from time to time, cheeky sod...

OP posts:
PinkAvocado · 21/12/2017 19:06

Original OP - “this year the majority of her Xmas gifts are makeup”.
Page 6 OP - “and (as I already said) DD is only getting glittery/shimmery eyeshadow and some pink lipstick”.

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