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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Refusing to take toddlers out to dinner at 7.30pm

139 replies

DIngdongmerryilyonhigh · 21/12/2017 15:15

I have a 14 month old and a 2.7 year old and my family have organised a meal in a restaurant (a nice restaurant not a kiddie friendly one) this week, table booked for 7.30pm.

I think it's a bad idea to take my two very young children with me to a crowded restaurant at 7.30pm in the week before Christmas. I know they're not going to be able to just sit at a table for two hours and I'll end up spending a large part of the evening walking around trying to keep them occupied and the rest of the evening will be spent trying to stop them grabbing glasses etc off the table.

My family have the major hump with me and think IABU because I've said I can't come because I don't want to bring them with me and I don't have anyone free to babysit.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 21/12/2017 15:16

Yanbu

Thank you for being considerate enough not to take small children to a nice restaurant. Wish everyone was like you

idontlikealdi · 21/12/2017 15:17

I wouldn’t have done it. It’ll be shut for you, the kids and the knees in the restaurant. Mine needed to be in bed on tome at that age.

otherdoor · 21/12/2017 15:17

Not at all! Do any of them have young kids? Maybe they've forgotten what it's like. DD is generally pretty adaptable and will fit around what we're doing, but there's no way I'd take her to something like this.

idontlikealdi · 21/12/2017 15:17

Shit - my phone doesn’t like swearing!

FairyMcHairy · 21/12/2017 15:19

You would have a shit time, your kids would have a shit time, other diners would have a shit time, and your family would have a shit time. Ask them who benefits from the children coming to the dinner.

YCAWS · 21/12/2017 15:19

YNBU. DH and I are really chilled out about bed times etc but our 2.5 YO would literally wreck the place and probably have many tantrums

jaimelannistersgoldenhand · 21/12/2017 15:20

I'd be leaving the kids with Dad (or other suitable person) and attending solo.

exexpat · 21/12/2017 15:20

YANBU. You'd have a horrible and stressful evening, the children would not have fun, and you would probably be the subject of an AIBU the following day: "AIBU to think that whining toddlers should not be dragged to fancy restaurants past their bedtime on one of the busiest nights of the year?"

natwebb79 · 21/12/2017 15:21

My two are 6 and 3 and we still wouldn't do it. They go to bed at 7 and 7.30pm because that's when they're knackered and have had enough. It would be a clear 'no' from me and they could get as arsey as they liked.

Cyclewidow46 · 21/12/2017 15:21

Yanbu at all!
It's a pity your family didn't think of the little ones and book up earlier.
It's such a shame you will be missing a family dinner though, is there definitely no babysitter available ? Friend / teenage neighbour for a couple of hours?

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 21/12/2017 15:21

My DD would have probably been ok with that but not all children are and you know yours best. YANBU.

glow1984 · 21/12/2017 15:22

Half 7 is my toddlers bed time. I think routine is really important for kids, so I would not be going either!

WitchesHatRim · 21/12/2017 15:23

It's a pity your family didn't think of the little ones and book up earlier.

Could be the earliest people could get there in the working week. It certainly would for DH.

KrisCringleWinterWonderland · 21/12/2017 15:23

Don't do it. Yaddddddddnbu

Herbcake · 21/12/2017 15:23

At that age, YANBU. Your family have forgotten what toddlers are like.

RestingGrinchFace · 21/12/2017 15:24

YANBU-they are being really twatish for being annoyed with you-my in laws do this kind of thing all the time (they think that bedtimes are something that the British invented to feel superior and are incapable of listening long enough for me to explain circadian rhythms to them).

Tinselistacky · 21/12/2017 15:25

At 2.2 we took ds to older ds birthday meal, our table was near the kitchen and he sat mesmerised in a highchair watching all the comings and goings.
Very family oriented place as that was the point. If your family had been as considerate when they chose a place, tell them of course your dc would have gone. Yanbu to stay home .

BarbarianMum · 21/12/2017 15:25

You know your kids best but this is the norm in Spain and Italy and I must admit I did it regularly there. So YANBU not to go but the suggestion that you might seems fine to me.

Silverthorn · 21/12/2017 15:27

Take the toddlers. Leave with arsey relatives. Go home and have a wine or nap. Collect at 9pm. Bet they never ask again.Grin
Not really.

RatRolyPoly · 21/12/2017 15:27

Jesus no, don't do it!

Definitely noone who can babysit? I agree with the pp who suggested that if you have a dp they should stay home so you can attend alone.

Beltane18 · 21/12/2017 15:28

YANBU

I'm having dinner with a friend tonight and I was more worried about office parties, I hadn't thought of toddlers...

MaryPoppinsStoleMyHandbag · 21/12/2017 15:30

Not a chance would l take my 17 month old out for dinner at that time. It would be a living hell and age me by about 15 years. YANBU.

Original poster
DIngdongmerryilyonhigh · 21/12/2017 15:31

Thanks everyone. I'm getting a hard time about it today because we have a couple of family members we won't see again over Christmas. Thing is it's okay for everyone else because they'll enjoy seeing the children for a few minutes then will move on to their adult conversations and enjoy their meals whilst I'll be on edge incase either child starts whinging or climbing down from the table or snatching the glasses etc.

DP is working late this week so he can't make it or look after our children and there literally isn't anyone I know who isn't already busy, which is understandable.

Thank you Shox :) and exexpat I used to moan about people taking their children to nice restaurants in the evening :)

OP posts:
CaptainChristmas · 21/12/2017 15:33

Yanbu. A sit down meal in a nice restaurant is hard with toddlers at the best of times. After their usual bedtime would probably be pushing your luck!

Frazzled2207 · 21/12/2017 15:34

My kids are 4 and 2 and no way would I do this. We occasionally manage a 5.30 booking at pizza express.