Refusing to take toddlers out to dinner at 7.30pm

[DIngdongmerryilyonhigh]

I have a 14 month old and a 2.7 year old and my family have organised a meal in a restaurant (a nice restaurant not a kiddie friendly one) this week, table booked for 7.30pm.

I think it's a bad idea to take my two very young children with me to a crowded restaurant at 7.30pm in the week before Christmas. I know they're not going to be able to just sit at a table for two hours and I'll end up spending a large part of the evening walking around trying to keep them occupied and the rest of the evening will be spent trying to stop them grabbing glasses etc off the table.

My family have the major hump with me and think IABU because I've said I can't come because I don't want to bring them with me and I don't have anyone free to babysit.

AIBU?

Tbh my 2 year old isn't the happiest when it's past his bedtime and he's tired, so 7.30 would not be a good time for a meal out with him for us. So based on that I'd say you're definitely not being unreasonable.

nah yanbu. My ds3 gets more hyper the tireder he gets. (tireder is that a word google says it is) He would be a nightmare in that situation.

YANBU! If we eat out, it's a 5.30pm table and all the family would suggest this time too, as they know the little ones need to get to bed.

We had this.

I said DS couldn't cope. DSIL got the hump so I took him. He couldn't cope and DSIL then had the hump about the tantrum.

We went home early and no late dinners were ever planned again.

Sometimes people need to learn the hard way. DS didn't really suffer and I wasn't planning on going to that restaurant again. It was empty for reasons other than noisy DS!

Thank you for being considerate enough not to take small children to a nice restaurant. Wish everyone was like you

Absolutely this. And that's coming from someone with children a similar age.

If it was family friendly and you were with people willing to take turns in minding the kids I'd say YABU but you e made the right decision here

Just read that restaurant is an hour away. Bollocks to that. If it were my kids (not that I'd do it in the month of sundays, maybe DD but certainly not human destruction machine DS) this is what would happen -

• they'd fall asleep and be asleep the whole way
• get there and they'd wake up in an arsey mood to end all arsey moods
• would probably be late with buggy faffing and calming teary toddlers down
• 2 hours in the seventh circle of hell that is that restaurant.

This bit particularly resonates -
it's okay for everyone else because they'll enjoy seeing the children for a few minutes then will move on to their adult conversations and enjoy their meals whilst I'll be on edge incase either child starts whinging or climbing down from the table or snatching the glasses etc.

I hate it when people use your children to get their 'adorable' fills but discard them when they're bored or behave like children 🙄

We had this exact situation two years ago. FIL booked our family Christmas meal at 7.30. We had a 3.5 year old and 18 month old, SIL had a 3.5 year old and a 2 month old. We all said that we couldn't go, but FIL guilted us into it so we went. It was absolute hell on earth. The 2 month old screamed the entire time and the other three had several tantrums, then got all overtired and hyper. FIL then slagged off the children to other family members, moaning about how badly behaved they were. It was a nightmare. SIL and I were ignored all night as we tried to keep the DC quiet, no help from our DHs, who were busy socialising with their family. We said never again and now FIL books it for a lunch time.

oliack That must be day though when people aren't working surely?

YANBU. The few times I’ve given into the pressure I ended up either leaving early or spending the evening trying to calm a crying overtired baby - with no help from the people who booked the event and insisted on our presence, of course.

Yanbu. I wouldn't take my 7 and 8 year olds, let alone my 3 year olds. 6pm is probably the latest I would sit down in a restaurant with them, so we'd be out of the way before it got busy.

Would a non small children friendly restaurant even accept bookings for families with toddlers in tow given that many diners will be rather too full of alcoholic Christmas cheer?

DNBU. My very reasonable DGD becomes feral past 7pm. I didn't believe DD until I saw it with my own eyes.

You probably wouldn't get served before 8 by which time your DCs will be climbing the walls.

Could you possibly meet them around 6 for a quick drink close to the restaurant?

Hell of earth for family members to get their 5 mins fill of kid time like a zoo visitation...
this kind of thing panics me because I am never able to relax because the kids need minding and calming down. Then all the tutting from other people and "you never behaved like that" from those who have forgotten what having small kids can be like (or just straight up perfectionists you can't do no nothing right in their eyes).
Dreadful

YANBU - it won't be fun for anyone. My 5 year old would be OK but tired at that time - my 21 month old - not a chance. He'd be feral and tantruming, he doesn't do tired very well! Also they love routine - why ruin it for one night?