A bit of a crappy gift??;

[sleepytown]

Okay I feel really greedy and entitled saying this but I need to let it out. I met with parents of my boyfriend of 2 years last month (they live abroad). Absolutely lovely ppl!. Over the past two years I have always sent his two nephews very decent bday gifts from both of us and his brother has always said that he knows it's me who chooses them as my dp doesn't have a clue (I have never met them in person as they live abroad) I have also bought very expensive gifts for his parents' bdays too.
At the end of the evening his mother handed me a brown paper bag. I was horrified when I got home and opened it!! It contained the cheapest, ugliest square scarf!!
I know it makes me sound materialistic but I would Never ever do that to anyone!! They are well off and have no financial issues but this is not about the finances. I just can't understand why anyone would do that???
I didn't mention to dp I just put the scarf away but I keep thinking about it and what it meant??!

Well I have a feeling his parents are telling you something, why don't you show your dp ? I think you should

Well I have a feeling his parents are telling you something

Like what?

It is only a scarf. Maybe it did have some importance to the mother - you could've asked instead of cringing at its uglyness and hiding it. Not showing your boyfriend I also find strange, he'd be embarrassed? Maybe try to laugh about it (together) instead of making a big point about nothing. You can't expect others to be like you, be happy for the fact they are nice people, far more important.

She will likely ask him if you liked it (and possibly why you haven't emailed/rung/written to say thank you). Hiding it will show only that you are rude, to him and to his mother.

Thinking about it, I find it a bit odd that you are so shocked to get something not to your taste as a gift! This happens to most of us, from being children, and we learn to say thank you nicely, and see the kind gesture being the object. Did your parent give only beautiful things that you wanted? Your view seems to suggest you were rather spoiled as a child.
If you have children, do you realise they will make and buy you all sorts of awful objects - will you be shocked and hide those too?

Are 'meeting for the first time' gifts a thing then? I feel like I've missed out on something here!

Anyway. My MIL is a very generous woman (to a fault sometimes) but she has a habit of getting people things she thinks they should like and wanting to spend her money on things she would like to receive. For instance, she does not like particular patterns so would not buy someone a gift with that on, even if it was their favourite thing in the world. I have very specific tastes (black, spooky, alternative stuff,) and I have received gifts from her that I would not use in a million years (beige, lots of beige). I don't think she's doing it because she doesn't like me or is thoughtless, she just doesn't like the things I do and therefore can't bring herself to buy them, unless I specifically ask for them, then she will, it's odd but not malicious. Some people are just a bit rubbish at presents. I wouldn't read too much into this.

Have you spoken to your DP and showed him? I really think you should. He may have an explanation. You defo shouldn't hide it, it's rude.

Take it out in front of your DP and comment how his DM had given it to you. Gauge his reaction to it, if nothing, then it's likely a brand new gift and he sees it as exactly the sort of gift she would send to somebody.
I'd just keep it tucked away for a considerable length of time if you don't like it and chalk it up.to differing tastes.
Seems to be a rather bitter thread and I'm not certain why. If you're happy to keep buying gifts on DPs behalf, fine, but wouldn't suggest any grumbles about it. If you aren't then take it up with him and point out it's his chore not yours. Personally I despise any sort of gift- giving/receiving because it flares my anxieties and I overcompensate to an excessive degree, so maybe consider that not everyone views it the same way as you do.

They met you for the first time and don't know you well enough to know what your tastes are. Even if they'd known you well it has to be said that some people are just bad at gifts.

I wouldn't invest quite so much time and effort into buying stuff for them. Let your boyfriend take a bit more responsibility.