A bit of a crappy gift??;

[sleepytown]

Okay I feel really greedy and entitled saying this but I need to let it out. I met with parents of my boyfriend of 2 years last month (they live abroad). Absolutely lovely ppl!. Over the past two years I have always sent his two nephews very decent bday gifts from both of us and his brother has always said that he knows it's me who chooses them as my dp doesn't have a clue (I have never met them in person as they live abroad) I have also bought very expensive gifts for his parents' bdays too.
At the end of the evening his mother handed me a brown paper bag. I was horrified when I got home and opened it!! It contained the cheapest, ugliest square scarf!!
I know it makes me sound materialistic but I would Never ever do that to anyone!! They are well off and have no financial issues but this is not about the finances. I just can't understand why anyone would do that???
I didn't mention to dp I just put the scarf away but I keep thinking about it and what it meant??!

sleepytown
Standing - When did I say that I pay for the gifts

Erm, in your OP and subsequent posts? ?

Over the past two years I have always sent his two nephews very decent bday gifts

I have also bought very expensive gifts for his parents' bdays too

My post was not about any complaints of having to buy / think of gifts for his family. I'm amazed that some of you are saying you would not do the same for your partners / husbands??!

Goodness, all the ??? and !!! make it sound as though you are extremely upset by this very minor issue. Your boyfriend's parents gave you a gift that you didn't like. Oh, well. Presumably you thanked them graciously. Why all the drama?

!! Two of these in one sentence that’s not even appropriate to use one.. but yes it then does read very dramatic issue over a flipping scarf..

I wouldn't have become involved with choosing/buying/paying for/sending my boyfriend's gifts.
We were together 7 years before we moved in together 29 yrs ago and that's when it changed to - sort out in November who's getting what/divide up who's buying what depending on who works close to what shops etc/he does wrapping/I write cards.

BlackPeppercorn its reasonable to assume OP and her DP live together after two years so the living arrangements are the same and thus reasonable to help . just not pay imo

I need to know the dimensions.

Also why do you go to such efforts on his behalf for people you don’t even know? It seems a bit over invested or needy?

@CaptainCorellisBigToe, I think that's a bit harsh! I think it's a really nice, kind thing for the OP to do :)

No it wasn't a Xmas gift Frekko. Just a meeting me for the first time

What type of gift does one give as a "meeting me for the first time" gift?

Why dodn't you stamp your feet and show what an ungrateful you are in their presence?

Getting to meet you gifts are very popular in a lot of cultures. (I got one too).
OP. I think you are right to feel hurt about the gift. As it looks like you have put in lots of thought into theirs. I doubt op is upset about the price tag. But seems like they haven’t really put much thought into it. They could have just given her some flowers if they didn’t know what she would like.

Young that's all it was really. I would not have given it a second thought if they did not get me anything...I wasn't expecting it...I really thought the scarf or tea towel was an odd choice that's all.

Then why use the word "horrified" and all the exclamation marks? Who can be horrified by a scarf?

Because it wasn't "designer"? Is it a Shenzhen special? I have lived in Hong Kong for many years and know that many (not all) HK/Chinese are VERY label conscious.

When did I say that I pay for the gifts?

Here:
I have also bought very expensive gifts for his parents' bdays too.

Also, you said you were horrified and asked why anyone would do something like this, yet now you're downplaying it:
I'm not disappointed / angry or harbour any negative feelings I just felt it was odd and aired it here that's all.

I can’t imagine ever being horrified by a scarf.

So was it square or rectangular?

Ffs! Yes I've paid for some not all! You do not live with us so therfore you would not understand how things work for us. Get over it!

Your op says you were "horrified" , but now you say it was merely an "odd choice".

It would appear that you concede that yabu

Which takes us 🔙 to why is he happy for youth take n the financial responsibility of you buying presents. To which you then grumpily asked "who said i did???!!" and numerous people said "you did" and now you're back to "well yes I do but that isn't the point". But it is the point because half of your post is about what nice things YOU bought and why haven't they bought you something nicer when you buy them nice things.

Get over it!

Get over what?

What did you buy them for hosting you and as a "nice to meet you" present?

DH does his family I do mine. It saves a lot of work, expense and square scarves from offending me!

I've come to the painful conclusion that some women genuinely enjoy that type of thing. The whole notion that their husbands/partners would be absolutely lost without them

Totally agree

I'm certain my MIL goes to the old lady home tat section of the garden centre and specifically selects the ugliest piece of pointless nonsense she can find to give me. fucking infuriating. at least a clothes you can just not be wearing that day. this bitch got me a WALL MOUNTED CLOCK. i have to look at that fucker every single day until the inevitable divorce or house fire. i am dreading what shite she's wrapped up for xmas this year. and I am a person who honestly couldn't give a monkeys about a gift. i absolutely do not feel the PIL need to get me anything. it's such a waste to just buy me some old crap. and it pisses me right off.

Yabu.

You weren’t expecting anything, yet are “horrified” by a gift which isn’t to your liking.

Ungrateful and churlish.

My MIL from HK bought me xxl pjs, very cheap tartan when I was a size six (I'm not anymore!). They fit my size 18 mum and were truly hideous. No idea why. Best year was when I wore a gorgeous necklace for Christmas and they'd bought be a cheaper version which was broken. I think it's a cultural thing. If you love your dp just go with it. It's up to you whether to gift give but don't expect decent stuff in return.