To think my sister is being a cheeky fucker?

[Cheekyeffingsister]

We have a family whatsapp group and a few weeks ago we all put lists of present ideas for ourselves/our dcs and everyone said what they would get to avoid duplicates.

Dsis sent hers over, ‘does she think we’re all minted’ says dp whilst looking at her list. Nothing under £75 for her or her dp/DCs. We’re not well off by any means (her present is more than what I’ve spent on my own child) but she had called me and said ‘oh I couldn’t find what you wanted but saw some beautiful things you’ll love while in House of Fraser so got you and dp a £150 voucher towards them’ so based on that I felt I had to get her the pricey presents as couldn’t believe she’d spent so much! (Our presents we sent we’re all under £20)

Now 5 days before Christmas she has sent a message to the group whatsapp ‘Hi guys, just to let you all know we didn’t budget that well for Christmas and Sam asked for an Xbox last minuite so we won’t be doing presents for anyone this year. Hoped to get the kids something but don’t think we’ll have time now. See you Sunday x’

AIBU to think she’s a cheeky fucker? I know I’ll get called grabby and you don’t give to receive etc but to me it seems she’s sent us all pricey things, acting like she’s doing the same then waited until everyone will have bought things to say actually she’s not getting us anything!

I’m more pissed off that she said she’d get one of the things on DDs list and now i can’t find it to arrive before Xmas.

Disclaimer as not to dripfeed - she has form for this kind of thing.

Definitely return her gift! Message her back saying sorry to hear that, in that case you absolutely don't mind not exchanging gifts this year. Done. She won't come back with anything countering that and if she does, well, I'm sure I don't need to tell you how unreasonable that would be...

Get your DNs cheaper, token gifts like she has for yours.

So why doesn't anyone call her out on it? Yes, it absolutely is worth getting involved especially when it involves people forking out a shit ton of money that they can't afford. I don't understand why nobody laughed in her face when she sent the original list, or had the balls to say "we can't afford that".

Whatsapp her back and say "hold on, what are you doing with the $150.00 John Lewis voucher then?"

I say this on every cheeky fucker thread - they only get away with it because people are too scared to say anything.

Be liberated from the fear OP, call her out on it. Might shame her into not doing it again...

If you still give your DN’s the expensive gifts your CFSis tricked you into them you are supporting and enabling her. Therefore you are part of the problem.

Get your DN cheaper gifts (return the expensive ones) and stop pandering to this CF.

No no no.

Please do not give the children the expensive presents.

That was the aim - to extract from you but to not give back.

Get your DNs something smaller, cheaper. You won't be punishing them by doing that - they'll love chocolate, stationery, whatever. But you will punish your nasty sister and that's exactly what she needs to stop this happening again.

Don't you see - it's not about the voucher or her present, she's banking on you not wanting to 'disappoint' her kids. Be cleverer than that!

I will still give my DN’s there’s though

Please don't. She will never learn if you do this.

message back to whatsapp group

In future, lets just get for our own families and focus on presence not presents.

Her presents would be going straight back. Cheeky mare.

This sounds exactly the sort of stunt my sil would pull. She has psychopathic tendencies. My sympathies for having a sister like this. My mother also lied to me growing up about giving things to me that never materialised. It is bewildering and incredibly painful. As you say, it isn’t worth saying anything. Your sister will play the wounded, attacked victim. You will always, always be in the wrong. All you can do is limit contact. And tell your dcs in advance that they won’t be getting a present from aunt and uncle liar and take an extra present for them. Just token gifts for your n&n perhaps?

And think about how your children will feel when their cousins are opening their expensive presents from you but they have noting to open. Give them presents but cheap token gifts.

This is something my dsis would do.

Id e returning the presents and getting them something in your budget.

Package of quality street for her! "Coincidentally, I also had trouble budgeting, but I know you feel it's about the thought that counts..."

Definitely do not give the gifts! Send a message back saying "Great idea, very sensible. I'd still like to get your DC something very small to open on the day though, I hope that's ok

Why on earth would you give the DN's presents? No wonder she has form for it, she keeps getting away with it! Take them back and get them a selection box each and a cheap pair of PJ's from Primark. She really takes the piss!

Don't give the gifts! Get selection boxes for the kids instead as some have said. They'll still be pleased to get chocolate but it thwarts her sneaky plan.

The 'revenge' and 'glee' from some posters makes me feel a bit sick. Urgh. Getting off on the drama again?

OP - yes your sister is cheeky. Post back to the group so that everyone can see what you're doing though. Don't make this a 'thing' just before Christmas. Take the presents back, token gifts for your niece/nephew and leave it at that.

I would donate it to a goodwill mission before I gave it to the CF.

THIS ^
In fact, I would dump/destroy it before I gave in to this sort of blackmail!

And I agree with PPs who said not to give her chilean expensive gift. Give him a suitable present that is in your original price range, and leave it at that - or even just a token gift of a book or selection box or something.

Otherwise she WILL do this again - and she'll teach her child to do it and your own DCs will have to deal with the fallout . . . FOREVER!

(Over-dramatic, I know, but it will perpetuate through the generations)

*The 'revenge' and 'glee' from some posters makes me feel a bit sick. Urgh. Getting off on the drama again?

OP - yes your sister is cheeky. Post back to the group so that everyone can see what you're doing though. Don't make this a 'thing' just before Christmas. Take the presents back, token gifts for your niece/nephew and leave it at that*

What are you talking about? We've all said exactly the same as what you've said

Ohhhh that's bad.
Definitely take her gift back for a refund and let her know that you're quite disappointed in her reaction, since you now can't get your DD the thing she wanted, that your sis was supposed to be getting, in time for Christmas.
And then follow that up with "we're not getting caught out like this again, so let's just stick to cards from now on, eh?"

For any gifts to your DN I would get something cheaper not on the list. Cheeky moo.

Why does your sister’s kids deserve more expensive gifts than your own? Also, why do her kids deserve to open gifts on Christmas day from their aunt, but yours don’t?

You are wrong to give them a gift. Take them back or give them to your own kids.

Whose side will your parents be on?

I'm with RavingRoo on this one OP

Cup no, see example:

chicaguapa Wed 20-Dec-17 14:11:15
I wouldn't tell her in advance that you're not getting anything for her. Just don't give her anything and because she is a CF, she'll ask where her present is. Then as a pp says, just say "oh we're not doing presents remember, because of the X box" and you'll get to enjoy the reaction too, when her CF plan didn't work out for her.

====

That is utterly pathetic and spiteful.

I've said the same as most other posters and it wasn't those I was referring to.

Get your nieces something off piste but lovely (vouchers for a pony ride or something) and a recorder each and take back the really expensive things, and yes, next year a strict 'no gifts except for the kids' rule.