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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be absolutely seething and to go against DSDs wishes?

87 replies

K1092902 · 17/12/2017 20:36

DSD is 25.

Last night was her friends birthday. She had a few drinks and then rung me and her dad this morning at 8am to ask for a lift home as she was leaving here car there.

Anyway she wakes up this morning to find her friend (who has no driving licence) had driven her car back to her house.

She went and knocked on her door and spoke to her mum as we wanted the car back.

I want to call the police, but DSD has begged me not to as she doesnt want her friend to get into trouble.

Lots of upset here as said friend has now told DSD to fuck off basically because her mum found out and has kicked her out

Im fuming and want to call the police. AIBU?

OP posts:
yawning801 · 17/12/2017 20:38

Can I take it that the mother refused to give you the car back? If yes, isn't that theft?

ZenNudist · 17/12/2017 20:41

Yes you have to be an adult here. Id give the woman another chance to give you your dsds car back then you have to report it stolen.

InfiniteCurve · 17/12/2017 20:43

DSD is 25,an adult.So it's her problem,her friend,her car and you should keep out of it unless she has specifically asked you to help.

StoneColdDiva · 17/12/2017 20:44

Please can yo7 be clearer, makes no sense at all.

FunSizedNinja · 17/12/2017 20:45

So the car was there when you picked DSD up this am, but went to collect it later and it had gone? How did the friend get the keys? Presuming DSD would have brought them home in her bag? For what its worth i would be calling the police. What if she was caught by a speed camera on way for example and it shows up for your daughter? So this girl stole her car while presumably still over the limit? She knew exactly what she was doing

ChasedByBees · 17/12/2017 20:46

I don't understand - where was the car left and where has it been driven this morning?

I'm not sure how the other mum features.

Grimbles · 17/12/2017 20:46

Reads to me like the friend drove DSD car without permission/licence, not that they are refusing to return the car?

wednesdayswench · 17/12/2017 20:47

Is the problem that the friend drove the car under the influence or that she is refusing to give the car back? I'm confused.

DesignedForLife · 17/12/2017 20:48

I don't understand what's happened?

Maelstrop · 17/12/2017 20:49

So the friend committed TWOC? In the interests of keeping the peace and this not escalating, I would shut up. TBH, it's a waste of time reporting it, the police won't take it further I shouldn't think.

Gerbil17 · 17/12/2017 20:51

The daughter who stole your dsd car has been kicked out as punishment for stealing a car?

Personally id follow your dsd wishes and not contact the police.
Assuming dsd has the car back.
The girl who took it has been kicked out, told your dsd to fuck off which also has resulted in the loss of a friend.

Punished enough i say

SpecialAgentDaleCooper · 17/12/2017 20:51

Your DSD is 25. She's an adult so you have to let her deal with it IMO.

Rachie1973 · 17/12/2017 20:51

InfiniteCurve
DSD is 25,an adult.So it's her problem,her friend,her car and you should keep out of it unless she has specifically asked you to help

This!

HolyShet · 17/12/2017 20:54

I read it not that a car had been stolen,

OP feels she should report the woman who drove without a licence, uninsured, possibly drunk.

This woman has been kicked out by her mum for being such an idiot.

CremeFresh · 17/12/2017 20:56

I'm a bit confused as to where the car ended up and how the friend got hold of the keys but I don't think the police can do much about it as theres no real proof.

cathyclown · 17/12/2017 21:03

Get down to friend house and drive DSD car back.

Forget about everything else.

I don't see the problem here, unless I have missed some very important part of the story. Probably a no key issue for the car. Oh dear. Always have a spare set somewhere.

Rachie1973 · 17/12/2017 21:03

The police won't do anything anyway. The owner would need to report it and press charges.

MsWanaBanana · 17/12/2017 21:04

I think the OP means should she go to the police about the dsd friend taking the car without permission while drunk. Not that the Mum so t give the car back

Fairenuff · 17/12/2017 21:06

Nothing to do with you. It's not your car. Stay out of it.

MammaTJ · 17/12/2017 21:06

Please can yo7 be clearer, makes no sense at all.

The words 'Pot, kettle, and black' rather fit here!

Laiste · 17/12/2017 21:07

Well, if your DSD can't seem to get the car back i'd be advising her to tell the local police and see what they say.

If that's not the issue then i'd keep well out of it and let your DSD do what she wishes re her friend. It's an x friend now anyway by the looks of things.

happypoobum · 17/12/2017 21:10

This is as clear as mud.

If you mean DSD has the car back and you want to cause even more upset for her friend, who has been thrown out of home, by calling the police, then no, I think YABU.

Could you possibly just stay out of it, bearing in mind DSD is a 25 year old adult woman?

WhoWants2Know · 17/12/2017 21:10

OP, when you say that DSD left the car “there”, can you be more specific?

When the friend drove the car back to her house, where did she take it from?

That’s the part that confuses me.

WhoWants2Know · 17/12/2017 21:12

I’d be most worried about any driving offences the friend may have committed that could come back to bite the step daughter.

cathyclown · 17/12/2017 21:13

Why can DSD not get car back?

If she can do that, forget about anything else, DSD is an adult. You will be flamed as the WSM otherwise.