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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be absolutely seething and to go against DSDs wishes?

87 replies

K1092902 · 17/12/2017 20:36

DSD is 25.

Last night was her friends birthday. She had a few drinks and then rung me and her dad this morning at 8am to ask for a lift home as she was leaving here car there.

Anyway she wakes up this morning to find her friend (who has no driving licence) had driven her car back to her house.

She went and knocked on her door and spoke to her mum as we wanted the car back.

I want to call the police, but DSD has begged me not to as she doesnt want her friend to get into trouble.

Lots of upset here as said friend has now told DSD to fuck off basically because her mum found out and has kicked her out

Im fuming and want to call the police. AIBU?

OP posts:
DailyMaileatmyshit · 17/12/2017 21:14

If the car is DSDs and she now has it back YABU.

If the car is yours/ DHs then YANBU.

ItsNachoCheese · 17/12/2017 21:16

If i were dsd id pray the other girl didnt do anything else to add to the sheet of law breaking

Cockmagic · 17/12/2017 21:19

She's 25 , leave her to sort her own shit out!

PinkSnowAndStars · 17/12/2017 21:19

I’m confused! Where is the car now?

minisoksmakehardwork · 17/12/2017 21:20

I'm on the fence because your dsd is an adult. But...

I assume your dsd's friend drove the car back to her house and not yours. So bearing in mind she was already driving illegally as has no licence, was she also drunk driving? What else might she have done that, if caught on camera, might be blamed on your dsd?

Does your dsd understand that as she is the registered legal keeper of the car, any fines or convictions will be sent to the person whose name is on the logbook, because they have no who was actually driving. And her friend is highly unlikely to own up to it if she did do anything.

LoniceraJaponica · 17/12/2017 21:21

OP, please can you clarify
“as she was leaving her car there”

Where is “there”? The friend’s house?

“Anyway she wakes up this morning to find her friend (who has no driving licence) had driven her car back to her house.”

Whose house? The friend’s house or the stepdaughter’s house?

“Lots of upset here as said friend has now told DSD to fuck off basically because her mum found out and has kicked her out”

The mum has kicked the friend out of the house?

Shadow666 · 17/12/2017 21:22

Yeah, I can't understand it either. Does she have the car back or not?

If SD has the car back, I'd leave it. If the car is still at the friend's house, then she needs to get it back. Why on earth did she leave her car keys there?

putdownyourphone · 17/12/2017 21:24

So DSD’s friend drove her car when drunk? They’re 25, not any of your business at all really.

Don’t know how people have figured out that you can’t get the car back!

PinkJeggings · 17/12/2017 21:25

Your OP makes no sense at all

PieAndPumpkins · 17/12/2017 21:26

OP hasn't said anywhere that the car is being stolen /not given back. She said the friend drove the car without a license, which is presumably what she's angry about.

Ellie56 · 17/12/2017 21:26

Hmm Confused

Ceto · 17/12/2017 21:30

Only your daughter can make a complaint about her car. I guess you could report about the driving whilst uninsured and without a licence, but there is a danger that the friend may say your daughter authorised it, which will potentially get your daughter into deep trouble.

Tiredtomybones · 17/12/2017 21:31

When you say "her" DM, do you means dsd's mother or friend's mother? I'm not clear who all the she and her refer to.

GwenStaceyRocks · 17/12/2017 21:32

So the parents kicked their daughter out because she drove without a license? What she did was illegal and dangerous but I'm quite shocked they've thrown her out.
Regarding your question, your DSD is 25. It's her call whether she goes to the police, falls out with her friend, etc. She's an adult. Treat her like one.

Eatalot · 17/12/2017 21:33

Your post needs to be clearer. Why did you need her car back?

Voice0fReason · 17/12/2017 21:36

Yes you have to be an adult here. Id give the woman another chance to give you your dsds car back then you have to report it stolen.
No, DSD is the adult. It's not for the OP to do anything. That OP can't report the car as stolen, it's not hers!

diddl · 17/12/2017 21:42

How does she think that she is going to get her car back?

ElephantsandTigers · 17/12/2017 21:44

Could you start that again, OP?

DearTeddyRobinson · 17/12/2017 21:56

Yeah sorry no clue what happened. DSD left her car at her friend's house? But her friend drove it somewhere she can't get it and her mum er something??

Ceto · 17/12/2017 21:59

Your post needs to be clearer. Why did you need her car back?

I'm completely baffled as to why that question needs to be asked. Think about it, why would anyone need their belongings back when they've been taken?

Ceto · 17/12/2017 22:00

How does she think that she is going to get her car back?

I don't think that's the problem. It looks to me as if she's got the car back, but the issue is whether to report the friend for taking it, driving without a license or insurance, etc.

CotswoldStrife · 17/12/2017 22:04

I think ...

DSD's friend took the car from wherever it was and drove it to her own (the friend's) home. DSD somehow knew where the car was, went to get it back from her friend's house and her friend's mother has realised that her child must have driven it home uninsured and unlicenced and has therefore thrown the friend (driver) out.

But I could have that completely wrong. Most likely, in fact Xmas Grin

diddl · 17/12/2017 22:06

Oh, maybe.

Because Op goes from going to collect the car to calling police, I was thinking that they were refusing to give car back!

Mumof56 · 17/12/2017 22:06

@25 years old, the parents & step parents are way too involved.

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 17/12/2017 22:09

MammaTJ

Please can yo7 be clearer, makes no sense at all

The words 'Pot, kettle, and black' rather fit here!

How rude - it is obvious what that post means. The OP's- no. I'm lost.