To not recognise Christmas on Mumsnet?

[Kikisxmas]

I love reading all of the Christmas threads but more than ever this year I can't relate to much of it. I'm not slating anyone's way of doing things btw, it just seems that the norm here is not what I know and experience in real life at all.

Some examples;

Not visiting family at Christmas- I don't know anybody who doesn't spend Christmas/part of Christmas with family or friends.

Minimal gifts for dc- it sometimes seems like a competition on here, who can spend the least/buy the least for their dc. There's definitely some snobbery about those of us who buy lots of presents and the assumption it's tat. I'm not including those who can't spend much here btw.

Christmas Eve boxes/elf on the shelf/stockings- Again I've seen so many posts, some pretty nasty derisive comments to those who participate.

Giving random essentials for Christmas- A mattress and a potty are the standout ones for me this year.

So is it just me!? Like I said I'm not bitching about those who do things differently, I understand some people aren't big on Christmas, don't like it for personal reasons, don't like the commercialism etc.

Not looking for a bunfight, just curious about how your Christmas is and if it fits the mn norm?

When I was a kid, Father Christmas (can't stand "Santa") would leave a sack of presents at the end of my bed. The presents under the tree were from family, all labelled.

Lass

Because my PJs are comfier than my everyday clothes. If I'm not leaving the house, I see no point.

Why would you get dressed on Xmas Eve if you're not going out? confused

Because pyjamas are for bedtime and daywear is for daytime.

Me and my partner are completely different on this issue though. He gets dressed even when he's not going out, as do those who raised me. I just never understood it personally . I didn't think it was the norm either.

Daywear for me is for going outside in. PJs are loung-about clothes for staying in. Now see I'm the odd on but oh well. It's no big deal.

I don't get why some people here get upset over Christmas presents they have or haven't received. It seems so childish. But then I don't really get birthday gifts either once you're past 18.

@mathanxiety I think stocking are British, yes. A bit like the Dutch leave out clogs for St. Nicholas. What are tube socks (divided by a common language!)

As a child we spent Christmas with my grandparents while they were alive, aunt & uncle, and cousins. We would stay 24-27th ish and I never knew what it was like to have Christmas at home. But I loved it!

Since my mum died, I have spent Christmases by myself. Well, not entirely as the morning is at church surrounded by my church family and this year I'm doing Crisis for the 3rd year, and I spend time with friends often on Christmas Eve. I never realised my mum was the glue that held our family Christmas together until she was gone. My aunt does seem uneasy about it but they don't want me there any more. My sister won't come any more.
I just try and remember that it's all optional and celebrating the birth of Jesus does not require a cosy family or a happy ending - it can be simplicity itself. Often volunteering there are other people who have dysfunctional families and are lonely so it's a good place to be.

I admit I have read about ways of doing Christmas on here that I had never heard of or about before, but I think that is just because everyone does it a bit differently and whereas normally you don't hear about it this is a place where so many people post. I think Christmas is one of those times that tend to become traditional and done a certain way within a family so any variations by others or changes we have to make over the years seem a bit startling. It's fine though, isn't it.

This is the first year since dd1 was born 12 years ago that I will not make a gingerbread house. We live in the tropics and last year it had more icing than gingerbread as it kept melting. It ended up covered in ants.
It is also only the second time since she was born that we will be in our own house for Xmas. We will open presents and stockings, go for a swim, and then meet friends in a restaurant for lunch.

Well being in the southern hemisphere our Christmases are nothing like the picture-perfect snowglobe types in most of pop culture/MN. It'll be hot as anything, probably ridiculously humid, we'll likely spend a lot of it in the pool or at the beach and drive with all windows down. It's still Christmas though isn't it, even if there's no snow (you can get lost with your stupid-ass song Bandaid!)

We see both sides of the family through the Christmas period, do Christmas Eve at the ILs before traveling back home so we can have a low-key Christmas morning in our own house. Church, my family for lunch, pool/beach, pancakes & movie to finish off. We do a lazy-Elf, Santa sacks with 10ish small things including snacks, toys/crafts, a new outfit, a book, candy and a few essentials. Kids get 1 moderate gift each from us, 1 combined from aunts& uncles, a few from overseas relatives and 1 each from grandparents - that's plenty in my view.

The only thing I don't really get is mountains of presents, how do you have room for it all?! We have a big house and I'm constantly overwhelmed with how much stuff we've accumulated. I spend all year decluttering and donating and recycling, so even the thought of accumulating and storing more stuff sends me into panic mode. Plus my kids stop paying attention after about 3 gifts. We also have 3 of the 5 of us with birthdays close to Christmas so it's all just a bit much - so we keep it low-key and they're still pretty happy, blessed kids.

Oh and we do a few experiences each year, but nothing you have to pay for - a local Christmas tree display, Christmas lights etc. Went to a winter wonderland snowglobe once and nearly asphyxiated, the 'snow' was foamy soap and it was hotter inside the globe than outside in 30°C weather. Worst thing ever!!!

Well, lucky you OP. Some of us don’t have family to spend Xmas with and the whole thing is a painful reminder of that.

It doesn’t take a great deal of imagination that some folk might not be in as fortunate position as you and the people you know.

HTH

It's only on MN that people don't seem.to work on Christmas Eve. There are loads of threads about "Christmas Eve traditions" where people talk about going out for the day (or staying in and not get to g dressed!). Christmas Eve isn't a public holiday and I've never worked anywhere where the office has been shut for that day, or where all the staff have been allowed to take the day as AL. But on MN no-one seems to work Christmas Eve.

Our dc are older now but when they were small, sticking presents were from Father Christmas (I don't know anyone who says Santa) and tree presents were from real people. As far as I know that was the same for all our friends.

Emma where I live it's summer so everything tends to shut down for 2-3 weeks over Christmas. Schools are finished for summer break, most offices close. Tourist gigs, retail & essentials like supermarkets, police, hospitals etc stay open for the duration. So a fair whack of people are off on Christmas Eve, but there's a decent number working too. Those who have traditions are obviously able to do them, those that don't I'm sure work around it with traditions that suit them.

LaurieMarlow Sun 17-Dec-17 19:50:44

• I think it's the epitome of crass Christmas-related materialism

• This is absolute nonsense when many people buy a cheapy elf and aside from that initial outlay (5 euro in my case) it's totally free. The fun comes from your own efforts

The entire concept was designed to make its creator rich, and it has succeeded.

Why superimpose this on top of the buildup to Christmas? Children are excited enough and a lot of parents have enough to do without going to the expense and bother. Plus you have the creepy element of the Elf watching you.

petapixel.com/2013/11/21/parents-keep-kids-imaginations-alive-creative-dinovember-project/
You could use stuff you already have and have a blast.

Or just involve the DCs in preparing the house, making simple decorations, tidying up, baking.

Thank you Eliza - my American ILs never did stockings either so I wondered.

Here are tube socks -
images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/71vixIxPPqL.UL1460.jpg
Very basic athletic socks that soon lose their shape.

Eliza - so sorry your aunt has made you unwelcome for Christmas. Hats off to you for volunteering at Crisis.

I've never heard of only stockings from santa IRL eveything comes from the big man here. No credit needed for myself . Same for everyone I know . Only things not from santa are presents from relatives and friends that are placed under the tree as we receive them. Also never heard anyone IRL call him Father Christmas always Santa here

I'm nc or have a very very strained relationship with my family. Christmas I find quite emotional and I have this vision of us all meeting up Christmas morning and hugging in the snow. Then I wake up and smell the coffee and think nah fuck that. But seriously that's the only time it makes me emotional. It's shit. But too much has happened, it's gone to far and too long. But I don't let it stop the celebrations. I channel all my energies into the children and yes I'm going to say making memories and keeping our own traditions going. I didn't even realise how what we did and in what order meant so much to my oldest dd until I heard her talking it through with her little sister the other day. Even peeling the veg ( she does this sitting at the table in a Santa hat) was part of her Christmas. We do fun stuff to

@Brandybrandbrand you can keep your passive aggressive hth, I've already said those who choose not to visit family. It would help if you read more than one post of the thread.

Not visiting family at Christmas- I don't know anybody who doesn't spend Christmas/part of Christmas with family or friends.

We don’t visit family and they don’t visit us. Neither of us were brought up that way. For DH, they did their visiting at Thanksgiving, and my family did it at New Year. Visiting family would mean hours of driving and then staying in a hotel. No thanks.

Minimal gifts for dc- it sometimes seems like a competition on here, who can spend the least/buy the least for their dc. There's definitely some snobbery about those of us who buy lots of presents and the assumption it's tat. I'm not including those who can't spend much here btw.

Gift giving has gone mad in this country, and children are being trained to think that Christmas is all about getting. People go into debt to make Christmas special for their gift-anaethestied children. One present per child really is enough, and once they get to the age where they buy for their siblings, they get much more of a joy in giving.

Christmas Eve boxes/elf on the shelf/stockings- Again I've seen so many posts, some pretty nasty derisive comments to those who participate.

What on Earth are these? Is a mountain on presents on Christmas Day not enough? Is the Elf on the Shelf that spy thing about being good? What a horrible message to give to a child. Christmas is not about being good - it could be further from the true meaning of Christmas.

Giving random essentials for Christmas- A mattress and a potty are the standout ones for me this year.

You cut your cloth to suit your means.

So is it just me!? Like I said I'm not bitching about those who do things differently, I understand some people aren't big on Christmas, don't like it for personal reasons, don't like the commercialism etc.

Not judging by some of the responses down thread.

As for our Christmas, we are pretty busy with concerts and parties over the last couple of weeks. We have evening events today and tomorrow, then nothing till Christmas Eve. During this time, I will catch up on deep cleaning the house, will cook decent meals every day over my three week holiday from work, put the tree up, buy presents, sort out food for Christmas and Boxing Day.

We are busy at church on Christmas Eve and Christmas morning, then it is really a week of relaxation with DH also off for the week.

Christmas isn’t over for us until 6th January, and we have no doebts to worry about the New Year, so it really is a time for relaxation and looking forward.

Pengggwn it may be a form of reverse bragging, yes. But still a refreshing antidote to people who do the opposite and brag about buying loads and loads of presents for their DC (photos on FB etc). No one ever felt slightly sick reading about the extent of someone else’s moderation!