To not recognise Christmas on Mumsnet?

[Kikisxmas]

I love reading all of the Christmas threads but more than ever this year I can't relate to much of it. I'm not slating anyone's way of doing things btw, it just seems that the norm here is not what I know and experience in real life at all.

Some examples;

Not visiting family at Christmas- I don't know anybody who doesn't spend Christmas/part of Christmas with family or friends.

Minimal gifts for dc- it sometimes seems like a competition on here, who can spend the least/buy the least for their dc. There's definitely some snobbery about those of us who buy lots of presents and the assumption it's tat. I'm not including those who can't spend much here btw.

Christmas Eve boxes/elf on the shelf/stockings- Again I've seen so many posts, some pretty nasty derisive comments to those who participate.

Giving random essentials for Christmas- A mattress and a potty are the standout ones for me this year.

So is it just me!? Like I said I'm not bitching about those who do things differently, I understand some people aren't big on Christmas, don't like it for personal reasons, don't like the commercialism etc.

Not looking for a bunfight, just curious about how your Christmas is and if it fits the mn norm?

the same people whining would be exactly the same if they'd been around when this new-fangled tree nonsense was invented, too, and as for Father Christmas

This exactly. I'm fondly imagining an AIBU from the 1840s. "Am I being unreasonable to ignore this new fad for decorated Christmas trees? Not at all, it's an awful Norwegian import. How terrible tacky and lacking in imagination. What's wrong with sticking a bit of holly on a log, now that's proper tradition".

Laurie

I come from A family that really didn't think much of Xmas.
Our first year together I spent Xmas with dhs family and fell in love with it. Had my first Xmas calender at 24yo.
Every year we have dinner with one of dh family members hosting. This year is our year to host. Standard over eating, drinking, Xmas film, music, hypo kids and alot of mess and fun.
Will spend boxing day with my baa humbug dad. He will come to ours so kids can enjoy there presents.
I have 4 children, with only my dh working, they get as many presents as is affordable, not a sofa load. But a good pile.
First year of elf on the shelf. They love it.
Only heard of Xmas eve boxes this year. Kids always get some form of Xmas eve treat though, this year hot chocolate bags and a book with a little note from Santa to go to bed nicely.
We are seeing Santa on Xmas eve. Can't wait.
Can't afford panto and stuff this year. But will do alot of cookie making. Xmas crafts ext..
Anything that will make my kids Christmas the best we can make it. I want them to have the memories I didn't.
Pretty standard to most people I know.

The same though. I can't relate to alot on mn Xmas wise. It's once a year. Make the most of it.

Well as a late-20-something from a middle class background I think some of hte stuff on here is mad, but I'm fairly traditional!

Not visiting family at Christmas - I have spent every christmas with my family, and up until this year (when he's coming to my parents) so has my DP. We usually have extended family too. My mum has only once spent christmas without her mother, and says she cried! Her tip was to marry a foreigner who doesn't care about christmas, so she always gets her way!

Minimal gifts for dc - we get a big gift from parents, but I think aunts and uncles spend about £20 on us. Siblings spend about the same.

Christmas Eve boxes/elf on the shelf/stockings - we do stockings, but I don't even know what the others are. I do hate chocolate/novelty advent calendars though!

Giving random essentials for Christmas - we always get novelty soap and christmas pants, but I saw a poster saying her kids get toothbrushes, which seems a bit lame!

Our christmas goes like this:
Christmas eve: family dinner, midnight mass.

Christmas day:
My sister get us all up to open stockings, (DB and I try to get her to go back to bed but she won't!). We have to all enter the lounge at the same time, and then open our stockings sitting on the floor.
Light breakfast, maybe with bucks fizz (often wearing our stockings on our heads).
Everyone gets dressed and washed
A few "tree" presents (family presents get put under the tree)
Christmas dinner
Rest of the tree presents
My dad makes us go for a short walk
Late afternoon/evening - watch telly, eat cheese and crackers, play with presents!

I try to be frugal at Christmas because I dont have much money. It's not all about stealth boasting.

Each to their own I say. No need to get one's knickers in a twist.

Have never spent Christmas with family.
Minimal gifts - fairly - due to £.
Dont do Elf/Boxes etc. Do have stockings. some essentials in them. ie new toothbrush, hair stuff, pants etc but also some more exciting treats.
Do we leave the house on Christmas Day?
Yes, for Church in the morning.

Can't really visit family, they live way too far to take four children, plus our clapped out 18 yr old (but only bought last month) car would die. lol

No Christmas eve boxes or elf on the shelf, horrendous lookin' things! lol We never did this, our tradition is to go up our local (been doing this over 35 years now lol) and have a Snowball, sit by the fire and play scrabble with the husband and older sons while our younger ones play outside in the pub garden, and we have our cheesy bacon chips! (I do love this bit lol) :-)

Kids go to bed so early, usually around 5, they all play board games together and create merry hell upstairs (thank god for my older sons who look after the younger ones and play xbox monopoly or game of life with them, they have their treats and eggnog and usually wrap their own pressies!) while me and the husband enjoy our evening of wrapping and more snowballs and after eights and usually 'Eastenders Cliff hangers' from about 20 years ago! lol

Christmas day we are up by 6 at the latest, hubby makes the Cinnamon buns and eggy bread, the kids make me up the 'throne' (our huge bean bag that goes by the tree while I dish out presents!) we then play more games, build anything that needs building, and I have a clean up while the kids go and play and husband finishes off the dinner!
I don't spend tons on presents, I'm a comper, so I win things year round and it gets put into the box in the loft, done really well this year, won a £300 amazon voucher on here which was a massive help, plus have won us a holiday at Centre parks for next year for all of us so we will be telling the kids about that (exciting!) so, we don't go into debt, I just work my bottom off to win it all! lol We keep it basic, we keep it simple, and its so much fun.

We will be feeding 12 on Boxing day in our tiny 2 bed house, it'll be a squeeze but cannot wait to have my nieces and nephews shouting the place down!! Love it all!

@Carriecakes80
It's not a conpetition, but if it was - you win! Sounds awesome. Loving your throne

I don't do anything. It's bloody MARVELLOUS 😀

We are always beyond excited about Christmas in our house (no children, just me and DH). As a child, it was the one time of year that my father would normally do a disappearing act and my mum would scrimp, save and go into debt to make sure that we each had a pillow case full of presents. It was a wonderful time.

DH works in retail, so usually works on Christmas Eve. So I'll spend the day baking and pottering about, he comes home and we eat nibbly bits and watch a Christmas film. He's off this year for the first time in ages, so will be fantastic to spend the day with him. Christmas Day, he wakes me up about 6am to open presents. We never go into debt but do spoil each other rotten. At some point, DH will Skype his family and we'll spend a while with nephews and nieces showing us all their new toys. Usually my DM, my DB and DSIL come for dinner, but it's just us this year and I can't wait. Boxing Day is always just us as my DM is normally not up to two days in a row, so DH will walk a plate of cold meats and some bubble & squeak down to her while I cook. A really lovely, relaxed day together before he goes back to work the following day.

Every few years, his shifts will fall so that we can go and visit his huge family in Wales for a few days. They have an open house and lots of space, so there's normally a big family party either Christmas Day or Boxing Day evening. It's very different from our normal quiet, relaxed day, but lots of fun.

Christmas for us is very much about appreciating how lucky we are for who and what we have in our lives. and fairy lights I don't mean that to sound anywhere near as sanctimonious as it probably does, but several loved ones have serious illnesses, so it's just being thankful that we've made it through another year without losing them, or our jobs, or our home, or any of the other things that make us lucky. We have a delicious dinner, get warm and cosy and enjoy spending quality time with each other.

Dianag 💐

Father Christmas leaves gifts in a giant sack in the bedroom (I still have mine from childhood and the same person made them 30 years later for DH and children). Family gifts are usually given/received when we see them but a few come by post and go under the tree, they tend to get opened after lunch. We all bring our sacks to the sitting room and open them in turn (adults get about 5 items, sugar mouse and satsuma included, and children many more).

I had never heard of christmas pjs, christmas eve box or elf on the shelf before mumsnet.

Christmas Eve we put the tree up and decorate the house. We used to buy the tree but since we moved no trees for sale on Christmas Eve. Sometimes lunch out, sometimes fish and chips etc. Then crib service- children and adults dress as nativity characters. Back to ours with parents and sometimes friends as we live next to church for drinks and nibbles, chestnut roasting and fire muffins etc. Sleigh and carol singers visit the village. Parents stay for the evening until children go to bed. Usually last minute present wrapping because despite good intentions we can never quite get them all done before. Sometimes midnight mass.

I don't do Elf on the shelf , mainly because I feel it is social media click bait and seeing it makes me feel like an even worse parent .

I buy my children as many presents as I can comfortably afford , plus a bit extra.

My tree isn't even up yet and once up won't be coming down until the last minute of the twelfth night .

I will see all my and DH's closest living relations during the festive period .

Laurie, it was a woman who created EOTS, and her daughter who was in marketing. The difference between the Elf and the new fangled Christmas trees (introduced via the house of Saxe Coburg Gotha iirc) is the copyright.

I can understand of course how much fun it all is, but millions of families did Christmas perfectly enjoyably for years before the Elf appeared on store shelves.

Elf on the Shelf as a copyrighted brand may be new, but the idea of a mischievous sprite assistant to Santa is anything but. Zwarte Piet is almost 200 years old, and given the disturbing racial aspects I can see why a different version has gained traction where the original didn't. But it doesn't change the fact that it's about as novel as a tree, if you are Dutch.

I find the Santa surveillance idea of them unpleasant. But all the parents I know have it as a naughty prank played overnight while their kids are asleep, and they love waking up to see what he's been up to.

Personally I think the thing that is good about forums is that is allows those whose experience is not the norm to express it without feeling weird

Our situation is that we are sparse on the family front and we just get on and do the best we can - though we v much wish this were not the case -however we will be seeing family for Xmas eve and Boxing Day buy Xmas day itself is just us - my parents have passed and MIL lives a long way and is generally v overbearing and hard to relax around so we stopped doing Xmas day itself with her given the extra expense and bother of travelling to her with young kids and the fact we didn’t enjoy it and sometimes we just felt the need to enjoy ourselves

We live in a v nice middle class area where every one has oodles of family members and are hosting or attending several huge get togethers and it’s nice to come into a thread and find yes some people are in our situation

I just think you make the best of whatever your situation and we all have our own preferences there is no need to judge others as we all have different circumstances

math but you can't copyright the essence of an idea.

As perfect points out, the concept has been around for ages.

EOTS is also totally in keeping with the spirit of misrule that has always been associated with twelfth night festivities since Shakespeare's time. it's all about disruption, joyful chaos, small scale anarchy - and that's long been associated with the period.

So all the US promoter popularised something whose essence had been around for a long time and I guess fair play to them for seeing the opportunity. But most people a) don't buy their product and b) don't apply their rules, so have nothing to do with what they copyrighted. They have however popularised a tradition, just like Prince Albert popularised the Christmas tree.

And people are allowed to increase the fun they have at Christmas you know. We have always had lots of fun activities. EOTS simply adds to it.

Thanks for the reply. Yes it's rather awkward trying to organise this over the Christmas period! I think I'll message the 4 out of 6 mums whose faces I recognise just to check they received the invite.

I don't want to pressure them though! Everyone is so busy.

Does anyone really care how others spend their Christmas?

We stay home, eat, sleep, slob, play silly games with just the 4 of us because there is no need to be anywhere else.

Might just be the two of us this year because our teenagers ‘have plans’

I have no interest in what anyone else may or may not be doing.

Christmas eve DP normally works but this year he is not so will be happy to have him home. Kids write letters to santa, thanking him for presents and we make biscuits during the day to leave out for santa and I do some baking (this year I am making brownies) to take to MIL's christmas day. We live in Australia so it is hot so we have cold meat and salad for dinner and the kids get into their pyjamas and watch the christmas carols on TV, leave biscuits and a drink (normally coffee - I need it!) and a carrot out for santa. My DC have ASD and they list off the plan for the next day and who will be at MIL's house.

On Christmas day the DC wake up to stockings at the end of their bed and DP and I drink copious amounts of coffee while they are busy with their stockings. We all have breakfast and get dressed then hand out presents from under the tree. We then go to MIL's who makes some really yummy food, I try not to strangle DP's SD's mother who constantly tells me how autism doesn't exist and it is my parenting and is generally overbearing. The kids will have meltdowns and I will feel like crying but MIL (who is a special ed teacher) is amazing with them and takes the pressure off me a bit. We generally stay until evening and then get back home and watch a christmas movie. DP and I will have some wine and be glad we got through christmas which is an overwhelming time for my kids.

I've never noticed the treads you're referring too, but find a lot of people on Facebook either post bragging photos of big piles of presents or brag about how little their kids are getting (not referring to people who can't afford) I don't see the need for either posts.

We're spending the Christmas week with our crazy families, panto Xmas eve too

Gone over board on my daughters Xmas gifts, as I do every year, none of it tat except from those bloody blind bags and LOL balls. My husband works hard, works an extra weekend to pay for gifts, we're not "well off" but don't struggle either, if we want to spend x amount on our daughter at Christmas we will.

My daughter has an Xmas eve box. It's special (I made it myself so by special I really mean shit) it's our tradition, I've never noticed people making nasty comments but if they do, crack on, we love it so does my daughter.

I don't give essentials as gifts unless it the shoebox appeal we do, But wouldn't be fussed if I received them as gifts, saves me buying it.

I love Christmas, all the festivities and seeing my daughters face light up. Not everyone does and that's okay too, who cares if people think you're too over the top or you don't buy enough. I don't

I actually don't understand the people who say they don't overspend at Christmas.
Surely you have to - even if it's just buying in emergency extra wine for that neighbour / work colleague/ remote relative who has a little something for you? I have had to buy a second case of fizz as the first has literally disappeared as gifts. I am not even popular or work with a load of people.
I bought my DS sensible gifts back in November. Half of the presents he was interested in orginally but were too expensive, are now affordable as on sale. So I have bought them too.
We are not at home for Christmas so I haven't gone mad with food. Except three invites to dinner after work have appeared. More wine, more poinsettias, more cheese to buy.
I just throw money at Christmas grateful it's only a day.