To not recognise Christmas on Mumsnet?

[Kikisxmas]

I love reading all of the Christmas threads but more than ever this year I can't relate to much of it. I'm not slating anyone's way of doing things btw, it just seems that the norm here is not what I know and experience in real life at all.

Some examples;

Not visiting family at Christmas- I don't know anybody who doesn't spend Christmas/part of Christmas with family or friends.

Minimal gifts for dc- it sometimes seems like a competition on here, who can spend the least/buy the least for their dc. There's definitely some snobbery about those of us who buy lots of presents and the assumption it's tat. I'm not including those who can't spend much here btw.

Christmas Eve boxes/elf on the shelf/stockings- Again I've seen so many posts, some pretty nasty derisive comments to those who participate.

Giving random essentials for Christmas- A mattress and a potty are the standout ones for me this year.

So is it just me!? Like I said I'm not bitching about those who do things differently, I understand some people aren't big on Christmas, don't like it for personal reasons, don't like the commercialism etc.

Not looking for a bunfight, just curious about how your Christmas is and if it fits the mn norm?

I think what other people do is their own affair - everyone is different and there is no 'right' way imo.

For us, we are extremely fortunate that our families live nearby and all get on so from 23rd-26th we will be doing a lot of spending time with family. Everybody sleeps at their own home though as we love within a few miles and take turns driving.

We don't do elf on the shelf/boxes but that's only because they are not things we were brought up with and so have never been part of our traditions.

Our son will have a decent amount of presents that he will love - no essentials (he's 4) but we are fortunate that we can spread the cost over a couple of months. That said, we have spent only what we can afford - I personally couldn't get into debt for Christmas.

For us, the main focus will be spending time together, relaxing and enjoying some nice food/drink. I have a very demanding job and Christmas is one time that I can really relax and switch off.

Note read thread but I agree! In rl at age 40 was then first time I ever met anyone who needs all the credit for presents and only gives a stocking.
Everyone else gives most presents from santa and family give simply from themselve!! So you get the... Has he been pile under the tree!and in stocking.

I find it all fascinating as I had never heard of stockings the MN way . We used to put out our stockings/Santa sacks on Christmas Eve but they were for all kinds of presents - we never did "stocking presents". Presents from Father Christmas/parents in the morning, then family presents under the tree, and one person opens one present at a time.

We are just starting out in terms of our own traditions and DS is 2 so a bit young for a lot of it. I don't plan to do Elf on the Shelf or Christmas Eve boxes as he gets older but who knows? Mince pie and carrot for Santa next year though, for sure.

This is our first year spending Christmas at home rather than with the DGPs and the only non-negotiables for me are a real Christmas tree and nice food. All our family are 150 miles away so it'll be quiet but blissful not having to travel before Christmas. We did visit DMIL this weekend and will be with my family between Christmas and New Year but Christmas Day will be just for us this year.

Well clearly we are all different. I'm 58 and in real life I have never met anyone who spends so much time and effort creating "magical" Christmases ; fretting that their children no longer believe in Santa; pretending that all presents come from Santa; buying new pyjamas or doing Christmas eve boxes as posters on MN do.

in real life I have never met anyone who spends so much time and effort creating "magical" Christmases ; fretting that their children no longer believe in Santa; pretending that all presents come from Santa; buying new pyjamas or doing Christmas eve boxes

^exactly this!

I'd never heard of all presents come from Santa until mn. When I were a kid stockings from Father Christmas were small fun things designed to keep us happy until my parents had drunk enough coffee to function. Then we'd open tree presents which were from our families. I don't know anyone who has done it the other way.

(and I don't like hot chocolate ... gasp!)

I'm from a working class background and grew up on a council estate. I do understand about the huge pile of presents, but its not something I will recreate for my own dc and I am unashamedly snobbish about it for so many reasons, I don't think anyone could convince me its a 'good idea'.

We don't live near family, about a 4/5 hr journey, between me and dh, we only have the mon-wed off work so are not travelling. My parents are fine about it but I think my dsis judges me but then her and dbil have plenty of AL over xmas.

Don’t visit family.
Buy loads of shite.
Think elf on a shelf & xmas eve boxes are nonsense.

Never heard of a Christmas Eve box until reading this thread. No strong views really - each to their own. Except for elf on the shelf which is clearly a despicable thing (yes it is DSIL)

I never heard the concept of 'all presents come from Santa' either.

We always had presents from parents, etc, and a stocking of little presents. That's what I do for my family now.

"All presents* come from Santa" was the norm in my part of Scotland in the 90s.

*All presents meaning those from the parents. Some people had Santa delivering stuff from Auntie Jean too, but not all.

My heart breaks for the children that won't have a Christmas because their parents have decided that it doesn't really exist. Even though they probably had lovely Christmas Days themselves, when they were brats

Please don’t break your heart on behalf of my children who have never had Santa, a tree or presents on Xmas morning. We have our own festivals to celebrate and part of us holding on to our identity is not having those things. We are currently celebrating our own holiday where my children have been showered with gifts so they don’t lose out on the present front. We try to go away over Xmas but if we are are around then we will join with family or friends for a chilled out turkey dinner. We celebrate and enjoy the holiday as we feel is right for us but my children certainly don’t need sympathy just a recognition that Xmas isn’t the festival for everyone

Not visiting family at Christmas- I don't know anybody who doesn't spend Christmas/part of Christmas with family or friends

We haven't left the house on Xmas day for the last 2 years and don't plan to this year. DH is NC with his family. My bro and SIL live abroad. Last 2 years my father has gone to visit them. Used to go home to visit parents at Xmas before my mother passed away, but since she died shortly before Xmas we don't feel particularly festive. We can't have children. We just hide out at home the two of us and just have a quiet time with some food and telly.

Giving random essentials for Christmas- A mattress and a potty are the standout ones for me this year.

We haven't done presents in my family since I was a kid as we don't do adult presents.

DH and I don't do presents any more either as we both have enough 'stuff', we just give each other gifts throughout the year as and when rather than getting something for the sake of getting something on a particular day. We've moved house recently so we're buying all sorts of household stuff but we don't consider these presents. It just happens we're buying these household bits and pieces now because we happened to have moved shortly before Xmas.

If we had DC then we would have a reason to celebrate more. But it's a sad time of year for us,so we just hide away from the world and eat and watch telly till everything goes back to normal.

@banana we went through years of infertility and treatments, as lucky as I am to have dc now I will never forget how painful Christmas used to be, hard enough all year around but the festive period used to be especially hard

We didn't see any extended family on Xmas Day when I was growing up. We visited them on either side of it - none lived in the same county as us and there was never any chance a 'big family get together' would ever have gone well.

Last year spent DDs first Xmas with PILs, this year we have already had Xmas with PILs and just had one today with my GPs. Our own Xmas day is on the official date, at our home.

Nothing wrong with gifting essentials imo. I got a lovely new set of kitchen knives from MAIL (although I did ask for them!).

I think I will do Xmas Eve boxes with my LO when she is older. Some PJs, warm socks, hot chocolate, a DVD for snuggling up on Eve. Not sure about E.o.S

We usually have a few family members to stay over christmas and then visit the rest over the festive season.

The kids get quite a lot from us but not masses. 10 presents each from us, including the two things they’ve asked santa for, and a stocking and a small christmas eve basket.
They also get presents from family members and one of my brothers takes them shopping on boxing day.

Would only give an essential to the dc for an actual christmas day gift if it was a more luxurious version and if they asked for it.

We don’t do elf on the shelf (know a few people that do but not loads) but do go quite ott with Christmas decorations and crafts and experiences.

Yeah, the question of "essential" presents is an interesting one. DS (2) is getting pyjamas, which he needs, but they have buses on them, which he will love. Ditto slipper socks with rattly animal things on them. But I've just had to buy him new trousers and a warmer sleepsuit, and it wouldn't have occurred to me to wrap those - he needed them now and they're not very exciting to open.

I definitely remember getting pyjamas, slippers and dressing gowns for Christmas as a kid, as well as things like sweaters and nice socks, but can't imagine finding pants in my Christmas stocking! I think it either has to be fun or a bit luxurious to qualify as a present.

We did think about spending the day just me dh and dc but I was worried it wouldn't feel like Christmas

Of course it would, if you made the effort!

Christmas Eve we go out as a family for a trip (Santa train this year) and a pub meal on our way home.

Santa leaves the stockings on DC beds. Christmas morning they jump in with DH and I to open their stockings.

We then go downstairs. DH and I have cheap bucks fizz and pastries while the DC open a fucking mountain of presents. Stuff they want, stuff they need, stuff I think they might like, stuff to wear or read, pants, socks, it all gets wrapped.

I toss various shop-bought food products into the oven/microwave and we have lunch. Frozen spuds, frozen stuffing, peeled sprouts, Tesco ready-made cabbage etc. Then we all binge on chocolate and watch Christmas films.

No one visits us and we don't visit anyone. We're too far away.

we do family at Christmas, lot sof people, food, booze and good time had by all.

we don't spend vast amounts on presents. I do not understand the huge pile of presents thing.
I do not understand going into debt for Christmas. I don't understand why a good Christmas needs hundreds of presents instead of just some presents. I don't understand why you wouldn't use savings for other things, why you would just save everything for Christmas.
We have lovely presents, and veyr happy kids, no need to spend a fortune

elf on a shelf and christmas eve boxes are a mystery to me, can't get into them, as they have never been part of my family's tradition. Christmas stockings I love and we do great ones, even for the pets.

Our kids are older now so the elf on the shelf thing is new to me (and sounds shit).

Christmas Eve boxes? WTF. And this thread is the first place I've heard not getting dressed on Christmas Eve, which is on a par with wearing your PJs in the supermarket, for me.

To add to your list-

decorating banisters-I can't even see my banisters (obviously that is where all our classes s/scarves) go

Is this the mumsnet norm?

I see a lot of competitive expensive present buying talk here, including 1000+ per child. The mind boggles. I was slated by many for saying I'm spending less by choice.

I think each to their own and Christmas is not a bloody competition to see who can run up the most credit card debt

EastMids

Why would you get dressed on Xmas Eve if you're not going out?
That said, I stay in PJs all day if I don't need to leave the house, any day if the year...

Why would you get dressed on Xmas Eve if you're not going out?

Why would you not get dressed?