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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have tried to help a homeless man?

181 replies

darkcandlelight · 17/12/2017 16:34

Went to Manchester for the Christmas markets and we stayed over last night. There was a homeless man sleeping by our hotel and I was really concerned about him. This morning my 11 yo was worried he wasn't moving so we went to get dh up to ask him (he has a medical background) and took him a cup of tea. Dh is really annoyed with me, he says it was irresponsible.

So was I being unreasonable? I really thought the man had died at one point.

OP posts:
Koala2018 · 17/12/2017 16:35

What did he think was irresponsible? Checking to see if a homeless person is ok?

What you did sounds very kind and reasonable, don't listen to him.

Eltonjohnssyrup · 17/12/2017 16:36

No, you did a really nice thing. How was he?

Eltonjohnssyrup · 17/12/2017 16:37

Did you take the 11yo with you? That's the only thing he could reasonably have had issue with.

Original poster
darkcandlelight · 17/12/2017 16:38

He did wake up but had gone back to sleep by the time I came back with the tea. I was just thinking, so many people could have walked past and he'd have died and they wouldn't know.

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 17/12/2017 16:38

Homeless people aren't any more dangerous than any other random stranger. So I wouldn't have sent the 11yo alone, but if you were with her, can't see the harm.

Treating everyone like they are human beings is the first step to being a human being yourself.

Original poster
darkcandlelight · 17/12/2017 16:39

My 11 yo was with me but never unsupervised but that was what he was annoyed about.

OP posts:
Greenshoots1 · 17/12/2017 16:40

contact street link
streetlink.force.com/

A cup of tea is neither here nor there. A total non issue

I expect you DHs problem was that you were taking your child up close to a potential corpse, with no knowing how or why he had died, so yes, that was irresponsible. Very.

PinkHeart5914 · 17/12/2017 16:40

I don’t see what you did wrong tbh, I’d say you just behaved in a human way and did a nice thing

Even with the 11 year old I still don’t see why anyone would take issue, I mean god fordib if a child with its parent should check someone in the freezing fucking cold is ok

MrsTerryPratchett · 17/12/2017 16:40

Even if the poor bloke had wanted to attack you, I doubt he'd be capable after a night out in the cold. Poor bugger.

Bubblebubblepop · 17/12/2017 16:41

This makes me really sad- like it's ok for a homeless person to be dead

Greenshoots1 · 17/12/2017 16:41

Homeless people aren't any more dangerous than any other random stranger.

but far more likely to be dead

MrsTerryPratchett · 17/12/2017 16:42

If that was the DH's problem, fair enough. I doubt it though.

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 17/12/2017 16:42

Also you are teaching your child social responsibility... This is a good trait...

pisacake · 17/12/2017 16:43

"Homeless people aren't any more dangerous than any other random stranger. "

More likely to have mental illness, be on drugs, etc.

Original poster
darkcandlelight · 17/12/2017 16:45

Don't get me wrong, I would never put DCS in danger.

Homeless man was in a doorway and so I saw he was unconscious and tried to wake hime (didn't touch him, just talking) and when I couldn't told DC to get dad.

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 17/12/2017 16:46

More likely to have mental illness, be on drugs, etc.

Yup. But MH issues don't make someone violent. I've worked many years at homeless shelters and when I worked lates we were far far more worried about walking to the car past drunk arseholes who wanted to sexually harrass the female shelter staff than the homeless blokes. In fact one of the drug dealers once 'saved' us from a group of pissed Lotharios who wouldn't take no for an answer.

But you never know.

CaptainChristmas · 17/12/2017 16:48

I don’t think ywbu. What did your dh think the semi-conscious, freezing man was going to do?

Greenshoots1 · 17/12/2017 16:50

if you would really like to help, then support this:

www.crisis.org.uk/get-involved/streets-of-london/

This is the Crisis homeless choir singing "streets of London" in n attempt for the Christmas number 1.

It costs 99p, all proceeds go to Crisis, and more importantly, getting the Christmas number 1 would have to get more attention from the government.

BornInSydneyy · 17/12/2017 16:50

This makes me really sad- like it's ok for a homeless person to be dead

No one has said that? Hmm

Original poster
darkcandlelight · 17/12/2017 16:52

Thank you green I have bought it just now Smile

OP posts:
Frederickvonhefferneffer · 17/12/2017 16:58

I would say teaching your child compassion for others is very responsible.

Aeroflotgirl · 17/12/2017 17:00

Yanbu, it lovely for your dd to witness you being kind, I don't see any issue with it, you were in a public place,not secluded area.

Penfold007 · 17/12/2017 17:00

You did a very nice thing, sadly in the great scheme of things it was just a kind gesture but a very caring one. I'm sure the man was glad that someone cared.

BulletFox · 17/12/2017 17:01

Trust no-one, but try to be kind.

FFS a cup of tea is a cup of tea.

So YANBU.

RestingGrinchFace · 17/12/2017 17:04

You really shouldn't be encouraging an 11 year old to speak to strangers/go nosing around potential corpses. It's a bit unreasonable for him to get outright annoyed with you but he's not unreasonable for being concerned.