Garden, you might think that, but neither of those solutions are workable.
To say that there should be a border between Ireland and the EU is just none of our business. We would be effectively saying that Ireland should leave the EU and forego the benefits of being in the single market just because that's what we've decided we want to do. It would completely undermine what the EU is all about. Never going to happen.
A border between Northern Ireland and the rest of the UK would be possible in theory, were it not for the DUP insisting that Northern Ireland cannot be treated differently from the rest of the UK, and the Government depending on the DUP's support to get crucial votes through parliament.
But even if the DUP propping up the Tory government weren't an immediate obstacle, it's still a really really bad idea. The Northern Ireland issue is, and always has been, hugely sensitive. Putting a border between Northern Ireland and the rest of the UK would fundamentally undermine the structural integrity of the UK. Some people say it would be the first step on the way to a united Ireland, but I'm not so sure. Just over half the people in Northern Ireland identify as British and will fight hard to remain so. By putting up a border between us and them we would effectively be saying, "hey you know what, we created you, we're the source of all the troubles you've had on your island, but now we think you're too much hassle so we're casting you loose". Then on the other side, there's a large minority which identifies as Irish and would like to rejoin the republic, but there's no real evidence that the republic actually wants them. In short, putting up a border between Northern Ireland and the rest of the UK would run a huge risk of really really really fucking up Northern Ireland.
This is the part which amazes me most about Brexit, actually.
I can understand ordinary voters who live in England, Scotland or Wales not knowing or caring much about the history of Northern Ireland and why returning to a hard border would be a really really shit idea. I can also understand why ordinary voters might not understand why you can't have a hard border between Ireland and the EU, or why you can't NOT have a border between Ireland and Northern Ireland without having to follow the same trade and regulatory rules.
What I can't understand is how the government missed this. I mean, seriously. Did they just forget that we share a land border with the EU? Or did they not realise the significance of that? Or did they realise it but not really care?
Because whatever the reason is, it's incredibly damning. It truly frightens me that these people are in charge.