To give a gift-wrapped potato to DD on Christmas morning?

[Skittlesandbeer]

Was chatting with school mums yesterday while we watched kids play sport. This idea was raised, and split opinion in the group.

Given that most of us have used Santa/Father Christmas coming as a carrot or a stick to encourage good behaviour in DC over November and December, doesn’t it follow that we should deal with the bad behaviour on the Christmas present pile as well?

Is it unreasonable to add a beautifully gift-wrapped potato with a label that says that this would have been a another proper present from Santa, had the behaviour been better?

This came out of a conversation about how our kids (aged 4-8) have cottoned on to the disconnect between their mums harping on about Santa’s ‘naughty or nice’ list, and in reality there’s actually a shed load of stuff to open (even though they know they’ve been naughty). One mum said her kids sneer that Santa doesn’t care, and they know they can get presents anyway so why bother being good?

I quite liked the idea, and of keeping the potato in the ‘loot pile’ for a while afterwards as a reminder (until I can’t be arsed going to the shops and cook it for their dinner!).

So AIBU to wrap one?

And perhaps give it to DD first, if she wakes me at 5.30am on the 25th after I’ve had to coordinate 40 pairs of coat hanger/tinsel angel wings for Christmas Eve mass?

A valid parenting hack, or unreasonably mean (Christmas) spirited?

So if you made a mistake at work, you would think it fair enough to get a potato instead of that day's pay?

If your child is repeatedly misbehaving then, you need to look at where you are going wrong and find other ways of parenting. If they are just high spirited and don't do everything they're told immediately, try adjusting your expectations. If they have ADHD / autism etc find out how best to manage this.

Don't humiliate them. It won't work and may damage their self esteem. All children deserve to be treated with respect and have a good day at Christmas.

I think the general view of all this coal for bad behaviour and threatening with no presents naughty / nice stuff is that it's out dated and very nasty.

Deal with things at the time, fine no tv if xyz but the point of Xmas is kindness and charity.

YABU. It would be upsetting and humiliating for the child.

Lol I saw a meme on fb other week and thought it was funny - wrap a few empty boxes to out under tree and everytime they are out of line chuck one in the fire😂😂😂 don't think I could really do it but it really tickled me.

Because laughing at children's distress is so compassionate

I remember a child at school bawling her eyes out after Xmas as she'd got coal. Real distress. At the time I thought how mean.

DS2 does have a good day at Christmas. He needs help to manage his behaviour, the potatoes do this, because after Christmas he has an incentive to try and improve his behaviour. We then use Saturday toys, and school has lunchtime detentions and Golden Day. 3 lunchtime detentions equals no Golden Day. Yesterday DS2 got his Golden Day yesterday even though he'd had 5 lunchtime detentions, I don't know whether his teacher had forgotten, it was because it's Christmas or because he'd tried really hard.

Hairigician WARNING: Don't do this if you have a thatched roof! 🚒

Maybe she'd heard he was about to get some potatoes

Sorry Lindi - i meant it's not just me. I could understand if it was and then it was an extreme example because of my difficult Dc. But it's something i've noticed all my parenting friends do and some of them have really well behaved dc! (compared to mine - all relative i suppose ha). I just can't see it badly as they all seem really good and well thought out parents. Never heard of it being bad till i read it on MN.

It's also something which randoms do in a particularly unhelpful way. When DS1 was having a meltdown in a shop last year and i was trying to calm him, a lady came over and just shouted 'Father christmas isn't bringing you any presents now'. He of course screamed worse and i stared at her in disbelief and she snapped 'i was just trying to help'.

Yeah op.sounds like the sort of thing my dps would of done..she enjoyed a bit of humiliation,nc now ...

It's a bit of fun and, if done with humour, will be funny.

It's unpleasant for a child to be to punished when they're expecting a gift. It's worse when the punishment is served with "But it's a joke. A JOKE. You really have no sense of humour not to find this funny." Way to go to cause resentment.

Running who said "taken away a gift"?

The OP said it. In the OP:

Is it unreasonable to add a beautifully gift-wrapped potato with a label that says that this would have been a another proper present from Santa, had the behaviour been better?

The label is to say to the child "here's a potato instead of a gift that has been take away".

happinessishereblog.com/2017/12/dont-mean-christmas/

Haha I remember hearing about a school friend's mum (when I was 6/7) who was naughty and got coal from sinterklaas (Dutch equivalent).
we were terrified and made sure to be extra good.
perhaps just hearing about it is enough!?

Never heard of getting a potato though?

Christmas is a time for celebration and happiness, enjoying family and friends. It is not a time for a stern reckoning. Come on.

dentalplan. He always gets potatoes. He usually says, "I'll try to control my impulses, Mummy." With a smile on his face. He even warns his teacher if they're doing anything different from routine, that he might not be able to cope. He knows what his triggers are. This year I'm planning to put in a note from Father Christmas saying, "No potatoes this year, as you've tried especially hard."

My three year old is a bit of a monkey at times.. I tell her Santa is watching her though the alarm system in our house as I am waving my arm like a lunatic for the red light to come on and she is mortified.

Well At first she was anyway!

Three weeks down the line she bobs her tongue out now and says to Santa through the alarm 'come and get me santa'.

But the funny thing is she does what o did to her to my 7 year old 😂

She is having a whole pile of potatoes 🥔

Gosh children are so delicate these days. All this overthinking about everything can't be good. These kids are soon going to be out in the real world where their boss or partner hands them 'a potato' every now and then. No wonder nobody can cope with other people being assholes these days.

Yes, but she's not actually taking away a gift. And I don't wrap the potato with a note saying it's instead of another gift.

ZigZag
The difference is they will then be adults and if parents have done their job of teaching them to look after themselves, they will be able to do it. Home and parents should be a safe place. Dishing out potatoes makes them less not more likely to deal with the shit outside. They are children and adults in the making, not fully fledged mini adults.

If you do this to your kids, where do you draw the line? One person’s abuse then becomes another’s toughening up for the real world.

I don't think Christmas is the time to serve up discipline, particularly in the form of humiliation. I'm just not that mum.

I don't like the OP's implication that those who don't agree with her tactics are being provincial by misunderstanding an entire continent of people either. Get stuffed.

Pictish
My dh is from the continent. He and his family would never have entertained such bullshit. I’ve lived and celebrated Christmas in 3 of those countries and speak two languages very well. I just ignored such ramblings as provincial tbh as op really doesn’t know what she’s talking about.

Disciplining your children using santa is week parenting.

Threatening to give a potato instead of a present is lame and a bit desperate.

actually wrapping a potato and giving it to a child on Xmas day is simply horrible.