To give a gift-wrapped potato to DD on Christmas morning?

[Skittlesandbeer]

Was chatting with school mums yesterday while we watched kids play sport. This idea was raised, and split opinion in the group.

Given that most of us have used Santa/Father Christmas coming as a carrot or a stick to encourage good behaviour in DC over November and December, doesn’t it follow that we should deal with the bad behaviour on the Christmas present pile as well?

Is it unreasonable to add a beautifully gift-wrapped potato with a label that says that this would have been a another proper present from Santa, had the behaviour been better?

This came out of a conversation about how our kids (aged 4-8) have cottoned on to the disconnect between their mums harping on about Santa’s ‘naughty or nice’ list, and in reality there’s actually a shed load of stuff to open (even though they know they’ve been naughty). One mum said her kids sneer that Santa doesn’t care, and they know they can get presents anyway so why bother being good?

I quite liked the idea, and of keeping the potato in the ‘loot pile’ for a while afterwards as a reminder (until I can’t be arsed going to the shops and cook it for their dinner!).

So AIBU to wrap one?

And perhaps give it to DD first, if she wakes me at 5.30am on the 25th after I’ve had to coordinate 40 pairs of coat hanger/tinsel angel wings for Christmas Eve mass?

A valid parenting hack, or unreasonably mean (Christmas) spirited?

If anyone is interested in how to parent without threats, punishments, rewards or ignoring behaviour, through connecting with your child instead I highly recommend checking out Gentle Parenting. There's a website and a facebook group.

steppemum I don't think anyone's suggesting just a potato, but a potato with a few other presents. DS2 also gets separate presents from us.

The whole 'naughty or nice' thing is fine as a song. Imo it's absolutely CRAP parenting when used in RL on your children. Even sneakily used as a tool amongst 'real' presents.... it's unpleasant and controlling.

It's a bit of fun and, if done with humour, will be funny.

Really? You've been naughty so Santa has taken away a gift and left you a potato. Just THINK that through ... where the fuck is the FUN in that?

Wyrdesista I put a couple of potatoes in DS2's stocking every year. He has behavioural issues, and actually tries harder after Christmas because of the potatoes. He still gets what he asked Father Christmas for.

Running Santa does not take away a gift in this house. The potatoes are as well as what DS2 asks for.

Its a bad idea
A child wouldn't see the humour in it and it would be a mean thing to do
Nobody's perfect

Yes, running.

It is hilarious. I know it is.

I expect that you are also against 'hiding' Easter eggs for the little darlings to find, because that could also be deemed cruel to a modern day mum.

Let's not prepare our cherubs for the world at large, that is waiting for them. What a shock they will have.....

Yeah, treat 'em harsh.
Toughen them up for the real world.
Because we need more mean people.

Using Santa is abdicating responsibility. Bad behaviour needs dealing with at the time it happens, and Christmas is for unconditional love

Children are much better equipped for the outside world if they have developed their internal parent, who loves them unconditionally. You don’t do this by scaring them or threatening them. You do it by showing them to love themselves unconditionally and not to put up with nasty game playing and other shit. You only have to look at the threads of children of narcissists to know withdrawal of love even if temporary, manipulation and lots of stick doesn’t work. Equipping kids for the real world in a loving and positive way is not the same as wrapping kids up in cotton wool.

I wouldnt, personally.There are 364 other days of the year to teach your kids right from wrong. I think Christmas Day is not the time to flex your mummy/daddy muscles, sorry.

My 5 year old is another kid that would be strangely pleased with a potato, though. He's asked FC for a kiwi and a bowl of spaghetti bolognese.😂

dentalplan mine aren't hurt, and I do this every year.

Ahhh! I just think this thread is so sad :( Our kids become what we label them - if we label them bad and reinforce this with a potato (for goodness sake ) they will remember in years to come that they are a bad kid and only worthy of a potato. They will live up to their label.

I really can't believe people think it's ok to do this My kids know that santa knows they're good kids and try hard (even though they are normal little kids and do cheeky things sometimes like normal kids do). They also know that mummy and daddy know they're good kids and love them unconditionally. I just can't imagine how they'd feel to see a potato and told it was because they were naughty seems really cruel to me.

It's Christmas! It's about love, fun, positivity, innocence, joy, etc.... not a time for potatoes (except with Christmas dinner )

oblada you should read some of MrsK's threads before being so fucking judgemental. She's coping stoically with more shit than most people on here can imagine.

Our kids become what we label them

Absolutely.

Running who said "taken away a gift"?

It’s difficult to remember the piles of my presents from Christmas/birthdays as a child. A few memorable ones do stand out though, and not necessarily expensive, showy ones. 😊

However, I reckon I’d certainly remember receiving a gift wrapped fucking potato with a message saying:

”Dear Wee Butchy

Well, maybe if you had been a better girl...

No love,

Santa”

In fact, dribbling away in the nursing home aged 90 plus, memory banks scrambled and unable to remember your own name, chances are you’d still remember that.

I can’t believe people actually use a bloody potato for future better behaviour. What idiocy

Those up for it can get a potato while their everyone else gets their bonus or family get presents, you too can be better next year. But only if everyone laughs when you get it

Apparently it makes some parents " guffaw".

Nice.

Good idea for dh🤣

Why not give a tangerine and explain its what childen used to get. Might even contribute towards five a day. Lots of nice presents too of course!

It is something you would remember for evermore. If anyone has to resort to Santa to control their children I would recommend signing up for a parenting course in January.

Frogletmamma

Why does there have to be a lesson?

It's christmas day.

I have never ever done a naughty of nice list.
I hate the idea of naughty.; it labels children and causes problems.
I work in a school where this sort of parenting shit goes on all the time and we have to deal with the consequences.
My kids can be horrors at times but each thing is dealt with as it comes along.