To be angry at photos at Nativity?

[MrsAnamCara]

Just seen DC infant nativity. We were sent out letters, went to the office yo get tickets, had texts to remind people-all fine and well. No mention of needing permission to take photos/videos. Nothing mentioned before the start of the actual nativity performance either. The performance starts and several people whip their phones out and begin taking photos and videos but not of individual children, of all of the children on stage. It goes on throughout the performance and I can see in their view finder they are filming/recording video of 5+ children... A parent the right if the school Hall is stood filming the entire performance.

No one said they weren't allowed to but...neither was the guardian or parent of every single child asked either.

In my D's nursery, they asked for written permission, and if only one parent didn't give permission then no one was allowed to take photos or videos. Even if we were allowed, then it was photos and videos of your child only (zoom in) and if there were other children then you couldn't post it on social media and send to anyone else.

It really ruined the performance for me, as I don't know these people who are taking videos/photos of my child, I don't know where they will post them or send them to, I don't know who will see that photo or video. I did not give anyone permission to take his photo or record him?

I'm I being unreasonable to think the school should have asked for legal written permission for all children's parents or guardian's? And if some parents don't agree or give permission then that's too bad.

Anybody over about 40-50 has no photos of them in nativities anyway. Maybe carefully lined up outside for a single photo, but not the 'every possible minute recorded' scenario so common nowadays.

It's OK. We just remember them and talk about them instead. it works fine.

It's amazing that schools are still allowed to have very specific uniforms. If you see any school age child in the street, you can immediately identify his school, the area he is from etc.
i wonder how long until all schools, at least within one county, will have to adopt identical clothes to preserve their anonymity.

This just doesn't cover nativities by the way. It covers any occasion in school that involves a camera. An unusual one was when the kids were in reception and had online learning diaries. Their photos could only be used in their learning diaries and not anyone else's.

And as for outside of school stuff.....

Obviously if we spot anyone taking pictures that could possibly include our kids we ask them if we could remove ours.

We don't let anyone take pictures of our kids at things like tourist attractions and the like- to be fair most official camera-wielding people ask first.

At things like parties kids are left out of the photo- however there is one parent who we trust to take pictures of the kids as she gets why we don't publicise our kids but for a different reason.

I have a Facebook account but it has a completely fictious name and the profile picture is of something that wouldnt suggest in a million years I have children.

What about group photos of the whole class. I've got a few of these from when i was a kid and from when my own were kids. We were never asked permission. As far as i know no ones come to any harm from them.

Pre-internet, it wasn't a risk. Photos never left homes.

At DS's old school they had this one right: they had professional photos and DVDs done, no profit made, so affordable costs and the kids could actually do their thing without a sea of phones instead of faces.

Honestly, I'm a bit entertained by all this BUT WHAT ABOUT POSTERITY! stuff. People seem to forget how expensive photos were 30 odd years ago, and the way you never knew what one would look like until a roll of film was processed. 24 or 36 shots possible at one time, no way to edit. Photos were rarer and kids not constantly snapped as they are now. There's never been a generation more recorded because nobody had digital cameras, let alone mobile phones.

It's weird, how rapidly that has created a generation of parents aghast at not recording almost everything.

Lady, I'm so glad that the school helped. We needed to do the same for a child in a school I taught in. The parents were so supportive that there was nearly a playground lynching when someone broke ranks, took a photo (that happened to include the child in question) and posted it on Facebook.

Here’s the thing; I’m gutted I can’t take pics of my kids in the nativity - they’re the cutest kids ever. The thing is, the rule is there to protect my kids. I asked for it. They can’t be photographed/facebooked. I’ll cope with the disappointment, others will have to too.

(And everyone else in the school/class will be moaning like hell about the stupid rule, and none of them will know it’s because of my kids, because they don’t wear labels.)

My kids don't appear in class photos either.

While most people on this thread seem quite reasonable it only takes one person to act like a prat 'cos it's my rights' , upload the whole frigging nativity and put my kids I danger.

Interestingly pictures of your children with other children blurred out can often be 'unblurred' if you have the right software.

My 3 year old’s nativity was last week. The nursery head stood up at the beginning (so seconds before the show) and said “oh does anybody object to people taking pictures”. Nobody did object but I thought it was a poor way to do it. You’d have to be pretty ballsy to object in front of everyone.

Our school didn't have this rule when DS1 started reception. They only implemented it from the time he was in Year 2, due to the same reasons discussed here (safeguarding, children adopted, mother separated from partner due to domestic abuse, etc).

This means that now I will not have any records of DS2 from anything he does at school, only the few pictures and nativities his brother did before. Yes, I also find it a bit sad. I'm not a fan of facebook, never put any pictures or videos there, but it was nice sometimes to sit and watch those videos from when they were little as they get older.

Also, when I wasn't able to attend a performance of an event of DS2 in reception, that was it. I couldn't see it, because DH wasn't allowed to take pictures or video. I could only hear how it went, but nothing else.

I understand the other circumstances are more important and serious. I just wish there was a way that both groups (the one that doesn't mind having pictures and videos taken, and the one that cannot have those) could be pleased without affecting the other.

At DS's old school they had this one right: they had professional photos and DVDs done, no profit made, so affordable costs and the kids could actually do their thing without a sea of phones instead of faces.

I use a fair bit of leave doing this - albeit not professionally - to take photos of the children in their outfits and recording the shows, editing them, putting on DVDs to order. A DVD is £3, a photo £1.50. We make a little money for the school and parents could easily be present at the shows. But no. They watch through tiny phone screen instead and then post all over social media when they’ve been told not to. It’s fucking ridiculous.

Splendide,

This happened at a performing arts thing I was involved in some years ago - the organiser verbally asked a whole hall full 'Anybody object to photos being taken?'.

I will forever admire the person (senior staff of one of the organisations involved) who stood up and said 'No, that's not an acceptable way to ask. You should have asked for permission on the entry form, and you cannot ask for permission verbally now, because there are many reasons why someone who objects may feel uncomfortable having to tell you so in public'. Made them dramatically unpopular at the time, but they were absolutely right,

I find it annoying just to see people watching the thing through their phone rather than enjoying it - other parents waving their phones about just annoys the shit out of me! take one quick snap and put it away.

Depending on the circumstances there can occasionally be a work around- one play one of my kids did they were the narrator sat to the side of the stage in an armchair.

Official school DVD was just of the stage.

Oh and masks aren't always the answer either.

My DD’s just signed up to drama club. I hope she gets the lead in something and they can fuck off with putting her in a mask off the stage. 😤

I use a fair bit of leave doing this - albeit not professionally - to take photos of the children in their outfits and recording the shows, editing them, putting on DVDs to order. A DVD is £3, a photo £1.50. We make a little money for the school and parents could easily be present at the shows. But no. They watch through tiny phone screen instead and then post all over social media when they’ve been told not to. It’s fucking ridiculous.

I'll never understand this. A professional standard one is going to be so much better, a DVD is going to be a better memory, they can be edited to protect the vulnerable, and the children actually get far, far more out of doing the whole thing in the first place if they can see their families' reactions on their faces, instead of their parents frowning into a phone!

Yet people seem too addicted to their phones to connect any of that. It's a shame.

I'm really glad you do that, anyway. I'd appreciate it a lot, if I were a parent at your school!

Why doesn't the school film it and sell the DVD? That makes more sense surely.

It's the posting on social media they don't like which is fair enough.

Every year we have this thread. Every year adoptive and other parents explain patiently why these rules have to be in place, and hundreds of posters completely ignore the explanations and pretend we are saying there's a paedo on every corner.

I am far from being a precious parent - probably too far in the other direction - and I have absolutely no problems with people taking photos of my birth child. With my adopted child, it's a different matter. Has anyone on any of these threads ever asked, why? No, they just queue up to tell me I'm a snowflake. Not many adoptive parents are snowflakes - it's too tough a gig for that

^^ This a thousand times

One of the most depressing things about this time of year is the thread full of selfish, unable to think beyond their own narrow experience, judgmental posters.

The thread is full of reasons why most schools now have a policy of no photos / videos at all, or only for personal use and not on social media. If you don't read these and get why this is a genuine issue for a pretty large number of families, you are either stupid or a pretty hateful person.

YABU. Have heard of nativities banning photos and it's SO miserable, of course parents want a record of it.

The school are pretty good at asking me first if there is anything they need clarifying.

In the case of the armchair school play my kid was on the stage to one side. The narrator was one of the main parts- it was like they were commenting on the action.

In another play they were half the panto horse.

But unless the play itself calls for masked performers a mask is not an option.

Oh blackberry. Read olennas post and weep.

I massively object to photos being banned. Form should include a vote - why should one or two parents with issues ruin things for the majority?

Why would olenna object to taking a photo of her adoptive child though? What's the reason? In what far fetched situation could that cause a problem?

At our school you may not take any photos. They take some pics of the cast and you can buy them for a very small fee. There is usually a DVD also available.
I suppose its a but sad not to have pictures but since I met a family on the run from a man who was actively seeking to kill them, I now no longer question it. If people don't have pics on their phone, they can't post them on social media without permission.

BlackBerry

I'm glad you think it is so miserable that you don't have a record of your kids nativity.

I won't be so fucking happy when some nutjob finds out anything more about my dh than his name and employer.

And yeah, people working in his line of work have been targeted/stalked before.

The issue is the reach of social media, not the act of taking the photo.

Let's just say a school encouraged each adult to put a nativity photo on facebook which included a year group of 60 children.

Within the year, there is a child who would be at risk if identified.

So 120 odd parents/grandparents/carers could potentially share their group photos with their facebook "friends".

If each of the 120 people had a 100 unique friends, the class photo would be shared amongst 12,000 people.

Hence the risk.