To be angry at photos at Nativity?

[MrsAnamCara]

Just seen DC infant nativity. We were sent out letters, went to the office yo get tickets, had texts to remind people-all fine and well. No mention of needing permission to take photos/videos. Nothing mentioned before the start of the actual nativity performance either. The performance starts and several people whip their phones out and begin taking photos and videos but not of individual children, of all of the children on stage. It goes on throughout the performance and I can see in their view finder they are filming/recording video of 5+ children... A parent the right if the school Hall is stood filming the entire performance.

No one said they weren't allowed to but...neither was the guardian or parent of every single child asked either.

In my D's nursery, they asked for written permission, and if only one parent didn't give permission then no one was allowed to take photos or videos. Even if we were allowed, then it was photos and videos of your child only (zoom in) and if there were other children then you couldn't post it on social media and send to anyone else.

It really ruined the performance for me, as I don't know these people who are taking videos/photos of my child, I don't know where they will post them or send them to, I don't know who will see that photo or video. I did not give anyone permission to take his photo or record him?

I'm I being unreasonable to think the school should have asked for legal written permission for all children's parents or guardian's? And if some parents don't agree or give permission then that's too bad.

Dds school said at the beginning of the performance that parents are allowed to film and take pictures, but no one is to put anything up on social media.

Same in my school, but we also signed a document every year confirming we would not post anything on social media.

Fatberg why would join a FB group be a security risk to your children? You can use a nickname. Most teachers I know don't use their real name on social media, for obvious reasons.

Child protection I am on board with. DS1 was not in photos at nursery because I'd left a violent relationship recently. It's now 17 years on so not a concern any more. But I wouldn't undermine another child's safety. Our school allows photos but not sharing on social media. The head always says if she finds any pics on Facebook etc photography will have to be banned. What astonished me was a list of children in each class that was sent home for Christmas card writing 😱. Unless it's edited (and I really hope so) that is a huge safeguarding issue. No where else I've dealt with allows it. Going back to photos/videos someone needs to have a word with the selfish twats who stand up in the front row videoing and no one else can see.

You don't need a reason to not want your DCs' photos on social media. It's absolutely fine to object to it and it doesn't need justification.

Ketzele, That sounds horrible hes actively trying to find her! Your daughter most definately should be safe guarded this way.

Usually the list for Christmas card only shows the first names, no issue there.

Mumsnet have done some really good work on disabled kids, and the family situations that result, and the problems ignorant fuckwits people create for us.

I think it might be time to consider asking for a similar campaign for children whose personal family circumstances render them vulnerable, if this thread is any guide. The attitudes displayed - selfishness, sneery dismissal of those with less simple/easy situations, refusal to acknowledge that simple adjustments are in fact simple fairness - are strikingly similar.

As someone whose kids aren't affected, I can't see how my desire to have cute snaps in every possible setting and situation matters more than the safety of another child. How anyone can is just beyond me.

All these lucky, lucky posters, who can assume their children are safe, and can't imagine any sane reason why any other parent would feel differently.

Look, here's the kind of thing we have to deal with: one of my dd's birth family has changed her name to my dd's. This means that when my dd is old enough to go on social media (and I won't be able to keep her away forever) she will no doubt google her own name and be confronted by her birth family almost immediately. She will find them, they will find her, and she will be intensely vulnerable. I don't want to think about shit like this, I am usually a very laid back parent, but it is absolutely necessary that I consider it all as part of keeping her safe.

You can understand all that and disagree with me. But all the casual ridicule and insults on here - 'get a life', 'professionally offended', 'it won't steal their soul' etc - are out of order and if you can't see that, then yes you are precisely the kind of parent that makes rules like this necessary.

No photos or videos at my child's school. It's the parents who document their kids life on social Media that has ruined it for everyone else.

Ketzele I am so sorry you deal with this on top of having to manage the actual situation. It's horrifying, the lack of concern and the utter and brazen selfishness, both.

Thank you perfectstorm.

Every year.
Every year the same ignorant selfish posts.
So many people on these threads come across as incredibly selfish.

It’s sad that your dc won’t have a recorded memory of their year 1 nativity? Take pics of them in their costume, before and after with their friends. It’s enough, when the alternative puts children at risk.

My adopted dd’s birth father is currently in prison, but he has made no secret of the fact that he will use face recognition technology to find her via social media and “take her back” when he is released. She is 3 and he has photos of her when she was 1, very easy to find. She also looks very very like him.
So if someone else’s selfishness resulted in her pic being posted on fb with just one person who shares or likes naming the nursery she’s at, she’s at risk. He currently doesn’t know what part of the country we’re in.

And to the idiots who persist in saying this is no different from photos taken in public, on the beach, at the park etc. It is. Those photos give no real clue to where my dd lives, goes to nursery etc.

It’s not the same as it was in the 80s, we have social media.
It’s not hysteria, we have social media.
It’s not selfish of us to want to protect our at-risk children, we have social media.
And no, it’s not a case of “no one is interested in your child but you”. Unfortunately some children have dangerous violent people also interested in them

Look outside of your selfish safe lives and show a bit of understanding.

I imagine there's a fair few posters thinking, "Hark at her, wheeling out her sob story so we all feel too guilty to say anything. I feel sorry for her, I do, but her kid's problems shouldn't be my kid's problems". I bet you any money in the world

perfectstorm - you have a point, the parallels are striking (even down to "well, they can just sit out of the performance if it causes problems" suggestions )

Ketzele - you've expressed much more powerfully what I was clumsily trying to say - thank you and I hope your DD remains safe and happy

While we're on thoughtless people and social media, can I grab this opportunity to beg people NOT to share FB posts appealing for information on missing children - unless those posts definitely come from the police? There may be a very good reason those children are 'missing' from the poster.

I think the default position should be that no one is allowed to film the performance quite frankly.

What about when the school take photos or when they record plays onto dvd’s?? Most schools do this and your child’s face will be on the DVD, how is this different to another parent recording on their phone? As long as no recordings are published on social media then what is the problem? I really can’t see what the problem is here and why people are so excited about it. Just don’t put on social media.

If you're suggesting school policy is to withdraw vulnerable children from performances rather than suggesting a ban on photos then yes you're either a liar or your school isn't meeting the need of vulnerable children.

Not necessarily vulnerable children, any children who the parents don't want to photographed for whatever reason. And yes, it's the policy. I'm not engaging any further, you are being deliberately offensive by accusing me of lying.

Good day to you.

Photos and videos are allowed at our school but they are not allowed to be shared on social media

piggy, school can edit out children who shouldn’t be in.

Wtf

I have many many colour photographs of my old nativity plays and when I see them remember all my.class mates and it is hugely nostalgic.

What does anyone thing is going to happen and why do you think anyone is interested in your child. It's their own.

Just don't put on social media. But people DO put on social media. I have had pictures of my dd with her friends - tagged and named - posted on FB by their parents. A woman I know just uploaded footage from her kid's Christmas fair, with commentary which included naming many children. If it was as simple as 'just' not putting on social media we wouldn't have a problem, but idiots do it all the time.

And if you really can't see what the problem is here, I have to ask: have you RTFT?

There are some breathtakingly stupid posts on here.

The child I worked with had real and actual threats to their life. Fortunately the parents at DD's school seem on the whole a reasonable bunch and their right to photo little Annie as Mary doesn't trump a child's life to remain alive.

And that isn't over dramatic or exaggerating the situation.

FreeNiki read the thread FFS.

It is beginning to dawn on me (slowly, because I'm clearly not very bright) that people do actually post on these threads just to hear their own opinion, not to learn anything from anyone else.