For crying out loud, I'm not snobby! Or am I?!

[NoBreakNoProblem]

I moved to this area a year or so ago to be closer to work. It's a predominantly a working-class neighbourhood (nothing against the working class, BTW, my parents were ones - it's just a description). Except I tried so many times to be friends with the neighbours and other parents at my child's school. Everything goes perfectly fine and pleasant until they learn about what I did for living.

It usually goes like that: what do you do? Ah, well...I'm an academic researcher/university lecturer. Then, almost every time, a deafening silence follows! Almost always, they try to avoid speaking with me afterwards. Some even stopped saying 'hi' - including the parents of my child's best friends (they came to my house a couple of times before).

For the love of God, I'm not the 'elitist' snob they think I am. Take for example this, the other day the plumber came to fix something in our house. We were chatting and having a laugh for nearly an hour. As soon as he learned what I did, his attitude changed completely and started to stonewall me by being 'too formal'. It's either they don't understand what I do, hence the silence, or think I'm that educated snob similar to those posh snobs who have driven the country's working-class into the gutter. Then again, why the stonewalling and the avoidance? I don't really speak philosophy or political science to them.

I never ever experienced this before - until I moved into this area.

Please tell me what's going on?!

[Message edited by MNHQ]

Most regular academics are poorly paid. Vice Chancellors are part of the management structure, a sort of c suite equivalent. It's not comparable.

Exactly Delta. I'm getting pissed off with the grammar nazis.

Most regular academics are poorly paid.

Since academic salaries start quite a bit above the median national income, it's pretty out of touch to call that 'poorly paid'.

Not if you compare them to professions with a similar training period, no,

That's a different thing. 'Poorly paid for their level of qualification' - fine. Just 'poorly paid', as I said, makes you sound more out of touch than the OP!

Every pilot I have ever met told me they were a pilot.

Pft! that'll be the baggage handlers fibbing to increase their chances with women.

The only time they are scant on details is if they work for a budget airline.

lol

This is why you should never ask a question on Mumsnet!! Should be renamed Wolvesnet!

University professors are academics. Their average salary is between £70-£80k. That is not poorly paid by any stretch of the imagination.

I agree that post-docs just starting out are not paid particularly well in relative terms, but as Margaret said, saying they are poorly paid compared to the average is silly.

And if you go into industry, you can make a lot of money. Especially if you come to Switzerland

The issue I think is in the second sentence of the original post. The minute you start pigeon holing people into classes, that’s when the poor attitudes start.

"Most regular academics are poorly paid. "

Get lost! That kind of comment makes me SO angry. I had friends who used to call themselves 'poor' academics. They were on about 35k, twice what I earned. They consider themselves poor because they think they should be earning more but have no idea how insulting that is to other people.

Salary is relative. An academic salary is poor in comparison to other professions its natural to compare to in terms of years of study/qualifications.

Calling yourself an 'academic' sounds wanky. It's like someone working in the medical profession calling themselves a 'healer'.

Why not just say 'I'm are researcher/lecturer?'

I think it says more about the people who think 'academic'sounds wanky. Its very British. Reminds me of the Brexit debate where noone wanted to listen to the wanky experts

Gagworthy smugness from OP. Try replacing snob and working class with anti Semite and Jew, pretty offensive, no?
Oh and from secondary school upwards, isn't a basic grasp of syntax for those following education a given beyond remedial level? At least it was when I was in academia.

Because SlimDogMillionaire that’s what those in the profession call themselves, not something the OP has made up. It’s a standard term. Whereas doctors do not as a rule refer to themselves as “healers”.

My dh is a lovely man who lives in jeans and t-shirts. However when people find out he's got a PhD, they suddenly become in awe of him and don't know what to say. It gets worse when they find out he works at Oxford. I, however, gave up a flashy career and now just work in a school. That apparently makes me somehow immediately accepted, despite being as academically qualified as him. I think it's more of a feeling that you are better than them, even if you don't do anything to support that.

If you are that desperate to be accepted, try assimilation: turn up at the school gates in a shellsuit (with stains), greasy hair, sipping on a larger, handing out ciggies with a rolled up News of the World under your arm. You'll be embraced as one of their tribe.

If your cover gets blown just tell them you are an Academic Researcher Anthropolologist who Edjucates at the University.

Flippa which school do you drop at, it sounds lovely.
Or op, just work on those social skills, no one needs a job description just 'Im a lecturer' will be sufficient. I'm sure even those wearing 'stained shell suits' can cope with that.

OP you really did ask for it.
Quoting sub-group type C recessive prole, "Jog on".

People rarely believe me when I say I'm a scientist to be honest. The stereotype is an older man with a beard and dodgy dress sense. I'm a small, blonde woman in her 30s who wears make-up and is interested in fashion.

When I first got my doctorate, it was a novelty to change my title from 'Miss' to 'Dr' on bank cards etc. I had a loyalty card for Bham airport with 'Dr DeltaG' on it. I handed it over when buying a coffee and the young lad serving me looked at it and asked me if I'd found it on the floor. I was confused and said that no, it was mine, why? He said 'because it says Dr on it'. I said 'yeah so, it's still mine'!! I let it go as he was only about 17 and I was 24 at the time.

So I rarely have the same problem as you OP as no-one believes me in the first place!

OK one last pop, seen as it's you: before you get it printed up on the Heidelberg Press and vellum bound, try asking one of those bashful proles to proofread your Research? I'm sure they would oblige, if paid cash in hand.

I also never use my title when booking airline tickets. I once took a flight and the reservations had been made by someone else, using my professional title. A fellow passenger had some medical difficulties en board (fortunately nothing grave) and the cabin crew came and asked me to assist. I said I was in no way capable as I was a chemist not a medic. They said 'oh you're not a real Dr then!'. I got some funny looks from other people and felt quite embarrassed....never to be repeated!

As my beloved FIL (RIP) used to say to those who accused him of not being a real doctor: 'we were doctors when they were barbers'.