For crying out loud, I'm not snobby! Or am I?!

[NoBreakNoProblem]

I moved to this area a year or so ago to be closer to work. It's a predominantly a working-class neighbourhood (nothing against the working class, BTW, my parents were ones - it's just a description). Except I tried so many times to be friends with the neighbours and other parents at my child's school. Everything goes perfectly fine and pleasant until they learn about what I did for living.

It usually goes like that: what do you do? Ah, well...I'm an academic researcher/university lecturer. Then, almost every time, a deafening silence follows! Almost always, they try to avoid speaking with me afterwards. Some even stopped saying 'hi' - including the parents of my child's best friends (they came to my house a couple of times before).

For the love of God, I'm not the 'elitist' snob they think I am. Take for example this, the other day the plumber came to fix something in our house. We were chatting and having a laugh for nearly an hour. As soon as he learned what I did, his attitude changed completely and started to stonewall me by being 'too formal'. It's either they don't understand what I do, hence the silence, or think I'm that educated snob similar to those posh snobs who have driven the country's working-class into the gutter. Then again, why the stonewalling and the avoidance? I don't really speak philosophy or political science to them.

I never ever experienced this before - until I moved into this area.

Please tell me what's going on?!

[Message edited by MNHQ]

Absolutely snobby! To mention your job like that. Just say you work in uni and thats it. Nobody wants to know details until super friendly. Also question how do YOU approach people. At the beginning everybody says hi etc in new areas but after that initial effort from them its YOUR turn to make an effort. Did you call? Did you chase? Did you invite over snd over again )as not everyone can run up on first request)?
Its never the job or how much money you own - its really all about YOU. How friendly approachable simple you are. We have several rich on our street- some so stuck up you wouldnt see sun behind their a$$es... others are in a heart of our community - amazing warm people with contacts and expertise!
Evaluate your attitudes to locals.., even how you described them... it doesnt sound nice

why should the poster dumb down their job title - it's patronising to the OP and to his audience.

It's not patronising. People have jobs in specialities and because they are specialties by definition not everyone knows what they mean.

I give a fake job title if people ask me as my job title is very specific and makes no sense (and isn't interesting) unless you are in my field whereas there is a very easily understandable job title that had a 50% overlap. If it turns out people are interested, then they ask a follow up question and I can elaborate.

I read this in a really posh snobby accent

An accent can be "posh" but it can't be "snobby".

"I WORK IN A SCHOOL" you don't have to give a title

" it's patronising to the OP and to his audience. Would you be advising a plumber to say 'I do stuff with pipes' or a cleaner to say 'I'm a domestic maintenance executive' - unlikely ."

The cleaner example is 'smartening up' not dumbing down. You could argue that a 'domestic maintenance executive' should call themselves a cleaner and not put on airs and graces. I was talking to someone the other day who is come kind of claims handler for an insurance company. I think of him as an insurance man in a similar way to how I think of 'financial controllers' as some kind of accountants because I don't know exactly what they do.

I've actually never thought about what class my area is, predominantly. Interesting.

"I've actually never thought about what class my area is, predominantly. Interesting."

That's interesting. I presume that's because of one of two options. Either it's the same class as the area you grew up in or it's really in the middle (and by that I mean upper working class or lower middle class rather than very middle class). I've lived in a slightly posh area and now in a deprived area and you definitely know about it if you're in one of the extremes.

Gwenhwyfar my point was that advising people to dress up or dress down a job title is a bit bollocks either way.

I've never had this problem when I say I'm a lawyer and I live in what you might call a working class area

Nicky - oh yes, I agree with that. Just say what you do, but in a simple way. A normal description of what you do, not whatever fancy title your company likes to give people to make them feel important.

MNHQ have pulled OP's other thread.

I don't think he'll be back.

I hate the assumption that working class people have no knowledge or interest in academia. I live in a wc area, have a job in a supermarket, dh is a tradesman but we are both well educated, me to degree level, we are interested in art, science, literature etc. Time to stop the ridiculous stereotypes.

I hope you're not holding you're breath Lois

Your^

Nope We'll be in flying cars before the British class obsession dies out.

Oh grief it was "you're". My autocorrect is winning the psychological battle with me

It's a shame. Flying cars sound fun

Pilots I know will say they work at the airport

Every pilot I have ever met told me they were a pilot. The only time they are scant on details is if they work for a budget airline. 😄

All the pilots I know claim to be deckchair salesmen.
I know a shitload of deckchair salesmen.

I don't get it either, I am a cleaner and I am friends with a university professor and we get on fine. maybe shorten it to I work at the university and stop there. if you gave me the job title like the one you gave in your post I wouldn't be bothered about asking question like what subject ? or what the hell does that mean? lol . sometimes if people think its above them they will avoid it, me I love to learn new things.

Every pilot I have ever met told me they were a pilot. The only time they are scant on details is if they work for a budget airline. 😄

“Pilot” sounds interesting though.

“Academic” is a bit vague.

Your job is surprising given how bad your grammar is.
Maybe they (the lumpen proles you patronise) just, with their baser instincts, smell a bullshitter and steer clear.
Perhaps best not assume you are such a social hot ticket, could be you are just plain boring.

Indeed the term 'academic' is vague. Unless you work in or around 'academia', i.e. research & teaching at post-18 level, many people are rightly forgiven for not knowing exactly what is meant by it.

However, some of the comments on here about it being 'dull', 'boring' and poorly paid are way off the mark in many cases. Prof Brian Cox is an academic. I doubt many people would consider his job mundane and 'dull'. Vice-chancellors are also academics and no-one in their right mind would consider them poorly paid!

I've said it upthread, but I'll say it again. XH is an arachnologist. He's also dyslexic. Just because you're good at 1 subject, it doesn't necessarily follow that you're good at them all.

Oh and just because you're well-educated in a particular domain, doesn't necessarily mean your grammar and spelling are meticulous and beyond reproach.

Mine are OK but I still make mistakes sometimes. It doesn't follow that I therefore must be lying about my PhD (in chemistry).

I did the bare minimum in English language at school to get by. Was good at science though. Do we say to journalists, for example, who can't explain how probability or evaporation cooling works that they must therefore by bullshitting us about their writing skills?