Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

Original poster

.. or does this Islamic thinking on alcohol seem pointless?

211 replies

DefinitelyMaybePossibly · 13/12/2017 22:57

A group of us from work went out for lunch today. One of our group asked if we were drinking alcohol, because if we were, our Muslim colleague couldn't come. It wasn't an issue because none of us were. Since we went to a restaurant where all customers, even if in separate groups sit around the same long tables, other customers on our table were consuming alcohol. AIBU to think it's a bit pointless theologically to make a point of only coming if your group don't drink alcohol when others sitting as close or even closer are drinking?

I have been out with other muslim friends and alcohol consumption hasn't been an issue. So perhaps someone with an Islamic background can explain the theological thinking here.

OP posts:

buttercupmeadow · 14/12/2017 14:50

You wouldn't assume that a Christian will never have sex before marriage, and you shouldn't assume a Muslim is against alcohol. Everyone is different, and everyone's interpretation of their religion is different.
That's because the majority of Christians don't follow their religions teachings to the letter, and i presume the majority of muslims don't either. Religion should never be able to rule our lives.

Andrewofgg · 14/12/2017 20:55

curryforbreakfast You could go on drinking what you bought (or claimed to have bought) before Prohibition; people could and did home-brew; and drinking in the private home was never an offence. Read The Long Thirst which is very entertaining!

HildaZelda · 14/12/2017 21:22

My friend (lapsed Catholic) is married to a Muslim man and he's never had an issue being around alcohol, or pork products either for that matter. My friend didn't convert to Islam when they married but will celebrate the end of Ramadan with him and in turn he'll celebrate Christmas with her family in her parent's house. He won't eat the ham on Christmas day but will eat the rest of the meal and it's never been a problem.

goose1964 · 14/12/2017 21:37

A Muslim once told me that the edtict to avoid alcohol actually refers specifically to wine of the date palm. It is incredibly strong and was very popular so this was to stop people getting drunk. He was partial to a lager

foxyloxy78 · 14/12/2017 21:39

This is personal preference, not a religious thing.

Bellamuerte · 14/12/2017 21:56

I've never heard of this. I thought personal religious preferences were exactly that - personal to you. There is no legal basis for imposing your personal preferences on others around you. It doesn't bother me if people choose not to drink but I'd be extremely annoyed if they tried to stop me drinking, because what I choose to do is none of their business! I'd find it unreasonable for a colleague to say "if you're drinking I'm not coming", because that's putting pressure on me not to drink so they can come.

VioletDaze · 14/12/2017 22:23

I haven't experienced this with Muslims, but I have worked with Christians who felt they couldn't participate in activities that included stuff banned by their religion - like - I had a Jehovah's Witness colleague who had to leave the room if there was a birthday cake in it.

buttercupmeadow · 14/12/2017 22:28

What things with Christians though?

buttercupmeadow · 14/12/2017 22:32

Tbh i've never heard of Christians making any special demands in the workplace. I've heard of quite a few by muslims though. Certainly not in the majority, but there was a thread on here a while ago where the office workers were asked not to eat bacon in front of a muslim girl because she had complained.

LurkingHusband · 14/12/2017 22:37

I have Muslim friends who drink - they just frown on getting drunk

I shared a flat with a muslim chap at Uni. Once he had a friend round and they debated the prohibition on alcohol in Islam, with my friend taking the above view. His friend was extremely opposed and insisted the prohibition was absolute.

I was young and naive, but can retrospectively appreciate the irony that this was debated over coffee ....

buttercupmeadow · 14/12/2017 22:39

violet what stuff is banned by the Christians religion in the workplace? genuine question, because i've never heard of anything.

MeadowHay · 14/12/2017 22:43

and every Muslim I have ever known has always liked a bloody good drink! Maybe it's just obligatory InThe North!!)

Haha, loved this, as one of those Muslims in the North .

VioletDaze · 15/12/2017 00:19

Jehovah's Witnesses can't be around birthday or Christmas celebrations if they're observant. I've also know one person who couldn't eat in the office cafeteria during Lent as they were avoiding yeast and had to have unleavened produce. Not sure what brand of Xtian. Plymouth Brethren maybe?

I also used to work for a Jewish organization which kept a kosher kitchen so Orthodox groups could use the space. Half the staff weren't even Jewish, so it was a bit of a pain. Not getting sloshed in front of your boss at the Xmas do sounds pretty painlessx, honestly.

CalloftheHaunted · 15/12/2017 00:21

This. My muslim friends are all different when it comes to alcohol (some drink, one will have as as ingredient in a meal, others not at all) My practising catholic friends all seem to do the opposite of what the church says.

Donnerkebabbler · 15/12/2017 00:35

I’ve a Muslim friend who will happpily order and carry alcoholic drinks along with her virgin pornstar. She doesn’t wear the veil and she wears tight fitting clothes but that reveal only her ankles and arms/wrists. She had a fab collection of designer heels. A modern British Muslim I believe.

XmasSteamTrainRealAleOpenFires · 15/12/2017 02:33

along with her virgin pornstar? Ahhhh, I just got it....its a drink. I was wondering if that was a "auto-correct" gone wrong.

Donnerkebabbler · 15/12/2017 07:40

Aye Xmas, a mocktail

HintBean · 15/12/2017 08:28

I'm a Muslim and I obviously know plenty of Muslims too.

The vast majority of then wouldn't mind going to a resturaunt that serves alcohol (although they won't drink it either). They wont mind alcohol being served to others either on their table or next to them.

However, the majority would probably prefer not to go to a place whose sole purpose is to serve alcohol, like a pub or bar. Therefore, I don't personally like to socialise after work in a pub. I don't drink and to be honest I don't like the smell very much, and there probably won't be much I can have off the menu except chips (if that). I also don't want people from my community to think that I've now started drinking, or look at me with suspicion that I may have strayed. So yes, I would prefer if the annual work meal/get together was at a place other than the local pub/bar. But that does not mean in any terms that I would ask my superiors to rearrange. I would just make a polite excuse and not to go. Tbh because of childcare arrangements I can't do Friday evening's anyways.

buttercupmeadow · 15/12/2017 09:37

violet that's a relief, i didn't think there was something that defined us Christians in the workplace, like something i should have been doing not in my 40 years working anyway. I don't think anyone even knew i was Christian.

dinosaursandtea · 15/12/2017 09:49

If your colleague says 'hey, if you're drinking then I won't be able to come out with you', then surely the polite thing is not to drink rather than to exclude them?

Tapandgo · 15/12/2017 09:57

I also don't want people from my community to think that I've now started drinking, or look at me with suspicion that I may have strayed

Very sad that other members of a faith community think it’s their job to judge and control the behaviour of others.
Each to their own of course - but I’d be more comfortable to feel able to choose how to behave in matters of faith or belief according to my own personal conscience. My decision and my responsibility.

curryforbreakfast · 15/12/2017 10:02

If your colleague says 'hey, if you're drinking then I won't be able to come out with you', then surely the polite thing is not to drink rather than to exclude them?

No. 20 other people who want to go for a pint after work should go out for tea instead because one person doesn't want to go to pubs?
No, that is not reasonable at all.

moonmaker · 15/12/2017 10:06

They're not asking for it to be banned ffs.
They're opting out of coming as they have the right to do.

VioletDaze · 15/12/2017 13:54

I think I should also admit that as a non-drinker (for medical reasons), I do my best to duck out of "team drinks" or "works pub nights" as often as possible.

I get everyone else likes them, but honestly, if you're not drinking and stuck on overpriced orange juice while people get louder and louder around you, it's often not that much fun. I usually don't admit this as people can be very funny about non-drinkers and make up reasons to not come. But then you're aloof and not showing team spirit. So I brace myself and tag along sometimes.

British drinking culture is a fucking pain at times. I wish we were capable of coming up with new ideas.

Hoppinggreen · 15/12/2017 13:58

I’m not saying it’s the case here but I do know of some Muslim girls who are not allowed by their family to attend events where alcohol is served
If the colleague has a strictly religious family and is female it might not be her choice

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9