“Let’s only buy for the children” Yet DH & I are the only ones childfree!

[PinkJeggings]

Four couples: three with DC and us without. All either my siblings or DH’s siblings.

The longstanding agreement is to only buy for the children. So DH and I have to buy presents for five children. And we get nothing back in return!

AIBU to have a little moan?

I’ve got two words: selection boxes!
Then breathe a sigh of relief you haven’t got ten adults presents to agonise over!

In my family once a DC arrives parents forfeit presents and we buy for the children. This means my DB still gets gifts but DSis and I get a warm fuzzy glow

We do this in our family with four couples, but my sister and her DH who don’t have children get presents. So they just buy for their nieces and nephews but are the only adults who get presents. That seems fair.

Could you suggest something like that? Although it might be weird to ask I guess That idea came from those of us with DC.

My family has a broadly kids only present buying thing, but we always buy for my sister. She has no kids,and won't have, and so it seems really tough for her to be generously buying gifts for our three without us giving to her.

My sister has 2 of her own, 4 nephews from me, 5 nieces on her husbands side and her own 3rd baby on the way.

I’ve got one sister, Ive always bought her a gift, something nice from me to her, before and after kids. Just can’t not buy her anything. She’s always bought lovely gifts for my boys and before she had kids I wouldn’t expect her to buy mine something and not get her and her hubby a gift just odd. I don’t do it because she buys the kids stuff I do it because I enjoy picking something I know she’d like, she doesn’t buy herself stuff.

It’s about giving if that’s what you enjoy, not receiving. Wouldn’t bother me if my sis didn’t get me anything

Selection boxes for every one of them. That's bollocks, really unfair that you have to buy for three other families and you don't even get a bottle of wine or something in return.

If we should all just grow up and see that Christmas is "all about the kids" then what is the point of the adults without kids participating?

OP - if I were you I'd take it as carte blanche to see it as a lovely time for you and DP to spend together without all the mania of kids at Christmas.

Christmas for adults (in my experience) is about family, good food, a few drinks, Christmas TV, etc.

For kids it's about the presents.

We’ve done just buy for the kids with BIL for the last few years now as both families have 2 kids. With my brother he brought for the kids and I brought for him. Now he has one little I’ll buy for little and token gift for him as he’s buying for 2.

This is awful! Me and my sisters have always bought for each other, my oldest sister has teenage children who we buy for, and i have a 2 and 4 yr old. My middle sister has no kids, i would feel awful if i didnt get her anything! Me and my oldest sister probably spend a bit more on her than each other because we dont have kids, and we dont go mad, between about £20-£30
My husband has 2 brothers and a sister, and one of his brothers doesnt have kids, the other one and his sister have 2 each. I would never think to not buy him something, he buys for all the kids. Its ridiculous to say only for the kids if not everyone has kids!! They have sooo much anyway!

Op so apparently it's all about the giving. Well it's a shame that your siblings can't be arsed to buy you anything for you but still expect you to buy for their kids. So clearly not about giving for them.
In my family we buy for adults and kids alike. However I have a couple of single siblings so I tend to spend more on them. Why should they buy 5 gifts and only get one back? I have even gone ad far as to tell them to buy a joint present or for Kids only but they won't listen.

I dont get the whole ‘christmas is all about the kids’ thing either, so childless couples cant enjoy christmas?? Lol

Heart of course they can but sometimes you the importance that seems to be placed by grown adults on receiving gifts surprises me.

YANBU they should get you something ' from the kids'. I was going to say this was what my family did but thinking about it I just realised that we bought for the adults as well
As the kids last year but although we would have had 4 people to buy for with my sisters family and they just had the 2 of us it didn't feel one sided as everyone got gifts. This year we have DS so we have agreed to just buy for the kids. To me it's not about being "even" - I wouldn't say well as we have 1 DC you have to spend twice as much on him as we do on each of your 2. It's the principle going away empty handed. Some people genuinely don't want anything and think Christmas is just for kids but if you don't that's fine and I agree it's not fair to say let's just buy for kids when you don't have any!

For me Xmas is about meeting up with family, cracking open the champagne, eating nice food and just enjoying all being together. I’m in my 40s now and don’t see any need for adults to buy each other more than token gifts. If there was anything I really wanted or needed I would have bought it myself already.

It’s different for the kids though as there is always stuff that they want and they can’t buy for themselves (and the youngest new still believe in Father Christmas). .

YANBU.
We said to my brother & SIL to just buy for our 2 DC and not for me & DH, but as they had no children themselves we still got them presents ‘from the children’.
Now brother is in a new relationship and has a stepchild we do now just buy for each other’s kids and not the adults.

Probably because apart from your birthday, christmas is a time you can be a bit spoilt and have something you want. Not everyone wants to/ can afford to buy stuff when they need it, so will wait to have it for christmas. Being excited about receiving presents doesnt stop because you've turned 18 lol

I have nieces and nephews, but no kids myself. Tbh I’m getting fed up with the whole bloody thing and considering Oxfam goats for everyone next year. Can’t seem to do anything right. Fuck it and fuck control freak parents and fuck Christmas lists.

Ooh, I do feel better for getting that off my chest

I love them all very much but they do frustrate me sometimes! And no doubt they sometimes feel the same.

Ha ha, yes, fuck control freak parents and fuck Christmas lists does ring a bell.

Big box of sweets for the kids to share should do the trick.

i cant help it, maybe i'm a kid trapped in a 33yr old's body lol
33 when did that happen?!
Obviously i dont expect a present, but its what we have always done 😊 i love buying presents for others too, its not about needing them, its the warm fuzzy feeling hahs

My Eldest Sister and DBIL are child free and it would never enter my head not to get them a Christmas pressie just because they didn't have children.

Sorry OP but I think your family are incredibly mean and you are sooooo NOT BU!

On a side note my DH's Sister suddenly announced they were not buying for Nephews or Nieces one particular year. This was 6 months after having our only DS and their ONLY Nephew!

Yet for almost 15 years previously my DH had bought her two Sons a gift of approx £30 per kid. They even sent him messages with the page no of the argos catalogue for the exact item they expected.

Needless to say the buying for them tailed off................CFers!

Urgh, I hate this me me me attitude!
As far as I'm concerned the absolute best thing about Christmas is seeing the kids opening the presents and seeing their faces light up!