Dedicated a book to friends dcs and she's not mentioned it

[Trampire]

I'm braving AIBU. To be honest I'm not sure where to put this...

I'm feeling a little confused. I'm a professional illustrator. I've had hundreds of books published. I often get asked to include a dedication in the book. Over the years I've included my own dcs, my dh, my mum and dad and friend's children.

I few years ago I reconnected with an old school friend who is shared a flat with in London when we were in our 20's. We're in our mid 40's now. My dcs are slightly older than hers but we met up a few times and had a great time, all got on well. We regularly sent birthday and Xmas cards. I sent through copies of my new books to her dcs etc. When my dad died earlier this year she was really supportive, lots of phone calls and we met up for a dog walk. She sent through a photo of her daughter on World book day dressed up as one of my book characters - I was really touched.
So when I was asked for a dedication for my latest book I put her dcs names forward. When the title came out I sent her a few copies along with a birthday card for her. I explained that I'd dedicated the book to her dcs as they were always supportive and interested in my books.

Thing is, since then I've heard nothing. I left it a whole as I know life is busy. We normally communicate by text. I sent her a text a month later asking if she was ok and did her dcs like the books? No reply.

Wtf? Could anyone possibly be offended by a book dedication? Maybe it's nothing to do with that and I'm over thinking it? She doesn't do SM but her husband does. I've taken to looking at his fb page to see if something tragic had happened but from what I can see it's business as usual.

I'm so confused. Shall I leave it? I'm not offended or angry about the book really (I dedicated a book to my dh's niece once and my BIL and his de could not have been less interested!) and just so confused as it's do out of character.

Any chance of an update OP?

Sorry everyone. I've sent my Xmas card, didn't mention anything. I'm waiting for a usual one back. Sorry it's no more exciting.

I don't know why you couldn't just ask her.

Did you get a Christmas card?

Unfortunately no, no Christmas card this year.

I think I have to accept now that I've properly upset her. I think I may have to just let it go until she contacts me. I know people are saying "just pick up the phone and ask her" but that's not a normal thing for us. Phoning her turns it into 'a thing' and I'd be worried she'd feel like I'd put her on the spot.
I'm just going to have to accept it I think.

I'm a bit gutted about it.

I’m so sorry to hear this. Are you sure everything is ok with her? Maybe she’s poorly, or coping with a family crisis or having marriage problems or facing redundancy or something big that isn’t directly to do with you? So she’s not done cards for anyone IYSWIM.

It's possible. Unless she tells me, I won't know. She does no social media and isn't really in contact with any other old mutual friends on a regular basis. I have no idea.

I don't want to keep on at her

OP, I can't believe anyone would be upset by such a lovely thing. She must have something going on in her personal life. Did you say her husband is on social media? How about a casual inbox to him asking if she is ok as you've not heard from her in a while? It doesn't make any sense to have no response.

OP - PM me her number and I'll l flipping well ring her! I can't believe people don't just pick up the phone and SPEAK!

I feel sad for you op. You did a kind thing and most people would be thrilled.

There is still a chance she's going through something awful and it's not personal to you bit it does seem like for whatever reason she's dropped you.

You are being simply ridiculous not to phone her.

That’s sad. Can’t imagine the book dedication gesture did this unless you missed out a sibling or step child or something. Take away the idea that the book dedication caused this and consider what else could have? I suspect there is something else you have said or failed to do that has caused this. Has she lost a parent for example and she feels you have not been supportive?

Hope that you manage to get to the bottom of it xx

Would love to know what books you have illustrated :) didn't know if you had posted a link and I missed it!

Just caught up on this and I'm sorry OP - you did a really nice thing and now you are left wondering if/where/how it all went wrong!

Move on. You've done everything right and absolutely nothing wrong so don't fret about it anymore. Whatever your friend's issue or circumstance is, it's not your fault.

I was mentioned in a book dedication once and I showed it to everybody. I stalked strangers in bookshops so I could point out my name in the dedication if they so much as drifted near the section the book was in. Anybody who came anywhere near my house had to look at the book. I bought extra copies just in case something happened to the first one. I made my friend sign them all for me.

If someone wanted to put my DS's name in a book dedication they could do and I'd be over the moon.

I think you have three options left OP.

Wait until you see her in person and ask her if something was wrong.

Write a note explaining that you meant it as a thank you for her support and for any offence you might have inadvertently caused.

Accept you'll never know what's caused her to behave like this and move on.

I think you did a lovely thing and I'm sorry it hasn't been received in the way it was intended.

I missed out the word apologising when I suggested writing a note.

I'm sorry for you, OP, but I do think you're being a bit stubborn about contacting her.

I do get how people communicate differently, and how in this case phoning her would be turning it into a 'thing' etc; but it sounds as though it IS a thing, if she's dropped contact, no Xmas card etc. Doesn't it justify you picking up the phone and asking 'Is everything OK? Haven't heard from you in ever so long and I couldn't help worrying...'.

OP, I'd be utterly thrilled if someone did this for me. You sound lovely.

Wow that is so strange. As you can see on here, so many people would love a dedication

The only thing I'm wondering is... Is it possible that sending copies of your own book, unwrapped and on a birthday, could have been seen as a bit cheap and/or self-involved?? I'm not saying I think it was but I think some people might see it this way. I think I might have sent them separately from the card, at different times, for this reason. Just a thought.

@Trampire
For what it's worth, if someone had dedicated a book to me or my children I would be incredibly thankful and very happy.

I'm quite intrigued to know why she has not been in contact with you.

Delilah.X

For what it's worth, I would be so absolutely delighted if some dedicated a book to my daughter. It would blow me away.

For the love of god please phone the woman!!!'

I'm sorry everyone but Im really not phoning her. I would prefer to see her in person which I may do in the next year. Who knows? I saw her last Easter. We don't live anywhere near each other. I hate the phone at the best of times and it's just not something we 'do'. She has always said she's prefers a text - even when my Dad died she texted me to ask 'can I phone you?'.

After the original parcel, follow up text from me and radio silence with no Christmas card I'm just leaving it well alone! I may text later on in the New Year to ask if things are good with her etc. I'm really sorry, I'd be really intrigued too if I was just reading the thread.