To pull out because of programme at Christmas concert

[Whyamistillawake]

I've been going to a choir since September, most of which has been practising for the Christmas concert this week.

We've just had the final rehearsal in which they've introduced a duet which us two people (not including me) singing 'Baby it's cold outside'.

Am I overreacting to pull out? At the moment I don't see how I can sit there through it.

I know the feminist arguments. The 'what's in this drink' line is most definitely being sung as a spiked drink

No it's not. Apparently, this was a joke used a lot in films of the 1940's/1950's. The punchline was always 'nothing'.People of the time would've understood that when the female was singing this line, that the drink was non-alcoholic.

She wants to stay but societal expectations of the time meant that 'the neighbours would talk' if they thought an unmarried female without a chaperone was staying at a single mans house. We are looking at it through the lens of the 21st Century.

Have you watched the movie clip?

Yes as we do with other things.

Everything is considered in the context of the 21sg century and what is acceptable now. Quite rightly imo and nothing to do with snowflakery

My choir sang a sanitised version of it last year (no drinks being spiked) but tbh even that felt slightly weird. But apart from the words, it is a lovely song to sing!!

Elvis here’s a quote by Robin Thicke himself about blurred lines:

We tried to do everything that was taboo. Bestiality, drug injections, and everything that is completely derogatory towards women. Because all three of us are happily married with children, we were like, "We’re the perfect guys to make fun of this." People say, "Hey, do you think this is degrading to women?" I’m like, "Of course it is. What a pleasure it is to degrade a woman. I’ve never gotten to do that before. I’ve always respected women." So we just wanted to turn it over on its head and make people go, "Women and their bodies are beautiful. Men are always gonna want to follow them around

From an interview he did with GQ.

I agree it's a great tune and they sound great. I am sure they don't have a clue of the debate around this song. Concert is on Tuesday, if they don't sing this they don't do a duet.

If I pull out (and I think seeing the movie clips has made my mind up) I am very reluctant to tell the choir leader why. He has a massive amount on his plate at the moment and he doesn't get paid for dealing with shit like this. The liklihood of someone walking out of the performance is pretty low where we are and the likely audience (not in the UK). I'm probably the only person who has an issue with it but that doesn't stop the fact that I do feel I can't smile and applaud this one. If I sit on stage stony faced not clapping that is worse.

The song is about a woman looking for reasons to get laid because she wants to get laid - but is aware that the idea of a woman being enthusiastic about sex, particularly sex outside of marriage, is unacceptable. Part of the problem, generally, with predatory men, is the cultural concept that women don't like sex, don't want sex, and are worthless sluts if they 'let' men enjoy sex - so there's this whole business of women being expected to say no, no, no even when they are absolutely gagging for it. Because they are bad if they say yes or (FFS RUN FOR COVER) actually suggest sex.

Sorry, he doesn't get paid at all let alone for dealing with whether I'm being a 'precious snowflake' or not.

Learn the difference between a man trying to seduce/woo/court. And rape.

This song makes me smile. He is trying so hard to persuade her to stay,, if you think it’s rape I think it’s you that has a real problem.

Have you watched the movie clip

Yup. And she doesn't drink it.

The song is about a woman looking for reasons to get laid because she wants to get laid

Because this ^^.

Not sure if Thicke said all that about women or not, but it's irrelevant because the song 'Blurred Lines' is not a RAPEY song.

What a horrible word and a horrible description.

She tastes it, says 'what's in this drink', makes a face and puts it to one side. How is that a joke about her pretending she's getting drunk from it (when there's no alcohol really). If that was what was going on she'd have downed it!

The current context is that Cerys Matthews locks up Tom Jones in a giant cage. Not sure what message I'm meant to take from that.

I agree I am thankful things have changed, but the social mores I was talking about was that you no longer have to worry what your maiden aunts might say about your reputation - you can stay and have half a drink more if you want without an excuse. I am not a fan of the song particularly, but I also don’t agree with what’s being inferred from it here.

A woman also sings the song to a man in the following clip; it acknowledges and subverts the trope of the male pursuit of women in the same movie.

I think it’s good to analyse and discuss these things, especially in terms of the culture changing, but I think context and nuance are important.

Anyway, ultimately it’s up to you OP, if you feel so strongly about it, but that’s my opinion.

He did say it, here’s the interview:

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.gq.com/story/robin-thicke-interview-blurred-lines-music-video-collaborating-with-2-chainz-and-kendrick-lamar-mercy/amp

You’re the one using the word ‘rapey’, I’ve already said it’s abhorrent.

What are the ‘blurred lines’ discussed in the song then? If not consent?

It's equally unacceptable when the woman is doing it to the man though. I don't find either clip OK with 2017 eyes.

I also just can't see how either clip supports the analysis that the party saying 'no' actually really wants to stay. They're both trying pretty hard to leave. If she (or he) wants to leave because she's worried about what people think, that's OK - it's up to her!

“ rapey “ ????? What planet are you people living on FFS ???

Well, I think you should do as your conscience dictates, OP. The song wasn't written specifically for Neptune's Daughter (as far as I'm aware) so that was just their interpretation of it.

It's interesting (and fascinating) how this one song has been picked to pieces over the years when there are others just as problematic. I don't think anyone here will change your mind though.

Actually my mind was being changed until I saw the clips!

I'll do as my conscience dictates and will sleep on it. I won't be mentioning issues with the songs as, apart from upsetting the choir leader, I think that risks our only tenor thinking he's being accused of something and dropping out himself!

I don’t think the song was written with that intention and that’s all I can say.

Earth layla

Earth layla

A woman being persuaded by her friends to stay out for another drink in a bar could be considered the same sort of thing. She may say "I've got to go...""Oh go on stay for another" "Oh ok"..... Just because this one leads to sex doesn't make it so much worse.

I agree if he locked her in and forced her into it....that would be wrong.

And I'm sure the person who invented golliwog just wanted a loveable doll. Times change. Our perception of what is acceptable changes.