You shouldn't use the term SAHM if...

[TheJennaThing]

You don't have children at home during the day? As in, they're in school.
I'm all for SAHP if they're children are actually at home but unless your OH earns mega bucks and you don't need to work surely SAHM isn't the right term if you just decide you're not going to work when you're kids are at school.

And yeah - as a family we've never received any benefits. Except Child Benefit when everyone got it.

I’m a part time SAHM, hoping for early retirement.

I'm a mum and I stay at home where the kids are doesn't change that lol

@goldenbear mine don’t like after school club either. That’s why I work school hours & evenings.

You could cook a lovely meal to reheat the evening before? You could make a choice between dragging kids round a supermarket and a slightly less perfect internet shop. Either choice is equally valid but neither necessitates stopping working.

Similarly with the cleaner. You have a choice to outsource some housework/ do it instead of family outings. Neither are wrong. My cleaner is a mum and she gets to work school hours only doing her job, which enables me to do school hours only doing mine. We both gain from this.

Frankly I think people are too judgemental. How someone else chooses to live their life is bugger all to do with anyone else unless it is affecting them directly.

As pps have said there is an obsession with defining people by the job they do. Our society is obsessed with money and material possessions and people who do not spend their lives chasing those things are seen as somehow not up to standard.

I had a professional career for 20 years but have not worked outside the home since my DD was born 10 years ago. I have seen people's attitudes towards me change when they find out what I used to do, as if that defines me as a person.

My DD has SN, I also help my self-employed DP with his business and frankly I don't actually care what that makes other people think of me. (Sorry, slight thread derailment. Rant over!)

Omg why are so many people so invested in other people's households 😂

mustbemad I ask myself this every time I look at MN.

I am seriously thinking it now may be more socially acceptable to go around shouting "because we are significantly richer than youuuuu" in true Harry Enfield stylee than to do the "I'm at home with the kids" thing now mine are at school. Bonkers.

Natalia i totally did the voice as I read that 😂

The thing is, if somebody rocked up to me irl & decided to cross examine my life choices i'd give them a piece of my mind. Liklihood of anyone actually doing it in the first place (bar my family & very close friends) is slim to none...turns out that hiding behind a computer screen actually does seem to give some the ability to grow an extra set of balls

What does 'sensory processing issues ' mean in English??

What does 'sensory processing issues ' mean in English??

AMIBU to dislike being an OAP, rarely used to bsit and feel undervalued 😢

And obviously no life, alone over 22 years 😫

Am registered a social care officer (ret)

I've only ever been a SAHM for a small period. When it coincide with child care .

Never used it the rest of my DC's lives when I worked.

But I don't know what else I could have called myself. Not a house wife - I don't do cleaning, ironing etc whether working or not. Unemployed? Maybe. I felt it. But not strictly true as I wasn't seeking work.

and I have a cleaner, allon a pension🤫

sorry, when I trained there were ner

none of these rerms which were derogatory so fek off

ie educational sub normal

Also isn't the point of MN that it gives us a tiny window into how other families and women run their lives?

It's hardly 'over invested' to be interested.

My DH (late 30’s) describes himself as “retired”.

There's being interested then there's being judgemental & rude! Basically what this thread started out as is one to bash women who don't go to work. For whatever reason.

I agree with you op. Stopped using the term sahm when my kids started school. There isn't a good term for it though. I tend to go with 'living off my husband' as it's technically true though he is happy with the situation as it means we don't need to use before/after school childcare and he doesn't need to take time off when the kids are ill. Housewife wouldn't fit either as I do very little around the house. Expert at lunching with friends maybe? Half looking at part time work though.

I really dont give a shit so long as its not "full time mummy" (cause obvs when Im at work my children cease to exist, my c sec scar disappears, and I temporarily have the cervix of an 18 year old..)

When my DC went to school, and I didn't go back to work, I probably became more of a housewife during the time they were at school. School hours were spent doing housework including stuff that is time-out endive but saved money like walking to Aldi to do the grocery shopping, and doing DIY and decorating myself. Basically, we only outsourced things that need a lot of skill. And while I did spend some of the school time doing doing leisure activities, I also took on the vast majority of the evening domestic and childcare tasks, so rarely had free time in non school hours. I'm back at work now, and frankly, it feels like a bit of a doss compared to my housework days where I worked very, very hard for little money and no social recognition.

I don't work. The children are now older teens at school. I could but there is no need for me to work. Have always preferred the term housewife. Can't argue with that.