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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

You shouldn't use the term SAHM if...

316 replies

TheJennaThing · 10/12/2017 16:21

You don't have children at home during the day? As in, they're in school.
I'm all for SAHP if they're children are actually at home but unless your OH earns mega bucks and you don't need to work surely SAHM isn't the right term if you just decide you're not going to work when you're kids are at school.

OP posts:
TisapityshesaGeordie · 11/12/2017 11:07

Oh goody, another person who thinks they get to decide how I define myself!

I haven't worked in paid employment since my first child was born. Now she's at school and her brother will be joining her next year. I may then seek a job - or I may not. Because they're only at school 6 hours a day for 30 weeks of the year, and it makes all of our lives easier if I'm around to cover the rest of the time, and financially speaking we do not need me bringing in a salary.

We all - including DH - like our lives easier. I'm not sure why everyone is so determined they should be hard.

TisapityshesaGeordie · 11/12/2017 11:11

Oh, and we don't claim any benefits. We aren't entitled to any.

EvilDoctorBallerinaRoastDuck · 11/12/2017 13:45

OK heron, so I don't get them up, make sure they're dressed, make them breakfast, make sure they're washed, walk them to school, pay their dinner money, pick them up, make them supper, make sure they do their homework and are ready for and go to bed? Xmas Hmm

MumW · 11/12/2017 14:38

I'm a SAHMAIBOTWFTLTGASJ

"Still at home Mum as I've been out the workplace for too long to get a suitable job".

I resent people who imply that I live a life of leisure, I'm often up before my FTWH (full-time working husband) getting ready for the day and am invariably still doing last minute jobs for the next day when he is sitting down with his feet up and still working when he goes and does his hobby on a Saturday.

I don't class myself as unemployed but work pretty damned hard for someone who isn't paid and do charity work as I like to contribute to society in some way.

DeleteOrDecay · 11/12/2017 18:24

Once the kids are in school people become "housewives" I suppose, since they are responsible for all the house stuff and not the kids.

By that logic when parents return to work full time they are no longer classed as parents? Since they are responsible for their work duties and not the kids. It works both ways.

Ffs, sahm is fine for anyone who feels it applies to them. Why do people care so much?

Bluntness100 · 11/12/2017 19:00

We all - including DH - like our lives easier. I'm not sure why everyone is so determined they should be hard

I think there is some confusion here. The thread is not about should you work if your kids are in school, the thread is should you still describe yourself as a stay at home mum if that’s the case.

I think the majority answer is who cares, you can call yourself what you please. Doesn’t mean the person who you’re telling doesn’t think you’re full of shit, people will always make their own judgements, as witnessed by this thread, many would think you’re full of shit. but you can call yourself anything you wish and which makes uou feel happy.

ShoesHaveSouls · 11/12/2017 19:10

We do all make our judgements - so when posters on here say they're still full time mummies, despite working full time hours and putting their child in before/after school childcare - and that they do all that a sahm does, and work full time - I can say they're full of shit too.

^ Not really - I don't really judge - but you get my point?

scaryteacher · 11/12/2017 19:16

I am a full time cat slave if that's b letter OP.

TisapityshesaGeordie · 11/12/2017 21:32

I don't really call myself anything, @Bluntness100 , I don't see a reason to, if people ask I usually just say I'm not working at the moment. It rarely comes up though because there are loads of SAHMs where I live, both of school age and pre-school age.

Not sure why anyone would assume I'm full of shit?

Lemonnaise · 11/12/2017 22:02

Bluntness100

Shock was there really any need for that? Why are you saying TisapityshesaGeordie is full of shit? Her post was perfectly reasonable.

NeverTwerkNaked · 11/12/2017 22:33

Where are all these schools that are only open for 30 weeks a year? Hmm

ShoesHaveSouls · 11/12/2017 22:41

State schools have 13 weeks holiday, private schools slightly more.

It's still way more than employee's holiday entitlement - so some sort of childcare is needed unless there's a sahp.

NataliaOsipova · 11/12/2017 23:03

Where are all these schools that are only open for 30 weeks a year?

My DC get 19 weeks of holiday. We've totted it up before!

BuggerOffAndGoodDayToYou · 12/12/2017 12:39

Children in English (maybe whole UK but definitely England) state school should receive 185 days of education - that's 37 weeks. If you are in state school in England and only in school for 30 weeks then there is a problem.

LoisWilkersonsLastNerve · 12/12/2017 12:54

Another pitch forker of threadConfused There are so many people out their Doing Life Wrong. It's awful. Think of the children etc etc

LoisWilkersonsLastNerve · 12/12/2017 12:55

Pitchforker of a thread I meant. Feck.

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