You shouldn't use the term SAHM if...

[TheJennaThing]

You don't have children at home during the day? As in, they're in school.
I'm all for SAHP if they're children are actually at home but unless your OH earns mega bucks and you don't need to work surely SAHM isn't the right term if you just decide you're not going to work when you're kids are at school.

[NooNooHead1981]

Yeah, I've been unemployed for 4 months now despite looking and applying for work and now you're saying if I call myself a SAHM it is because I'm a lazy ungrateful and entitled so-and-so cos I can't get a job?

Bugger off and get your head out of your bum.

[TheJennaThing]

Seriously though why call yourself a stay at home parent if you're children aren't there? You're not doing any parenting to them while they're at school, It's ridiculous. I clearly said in OP that being a stay at home mum while you're kids are there is perfectly fine IMO but if they're not actually there during the day, and you're not just living a life of leisure then can you really be classed as a stay at home mum? SAHM as a term in my eyes suggests staying at home to be a mum. Not to stay at home while you're children aren't there and make out like you're devoting every minute into being a parent.

[museumum]

I call myself an accountant. But I do it far fewer hours than a sahp looks after their children. Even in term time!!

[NataliaOsipova]

Mine? The same as the dictionary’s. It means you aren’t employed. As in, you don’t have a job.

As I said upthread, it's an economic term with a reasonably precise meaning. Which excludes the retired and SAHPs. All the unemployment statistics quoted in the papers are calculated on this basis.

[TragicRabbit]

Are you reading any of the posts?

[battenbergbutterfly]

Oh ok, thanks OP for that insightful bag of bollocks full of your opinions.

[Aeroflotgirl]

I am a STAHM, as I do not work, and look after the kids all the time that they are not at school.

[TragicRabbit]

That to op

[NooNooHead1981]

Yeah, as though I like having my self-esteem reduced even more than it is already becuase I can't get a job... so I'll just decide that I'll be really pedantic and not call myself a SAHM even though I'm actually A PARENT...

Cripes. Talk about splitting hairs. You're still a parent even if you aren't actually parenting them all the time. It's like saying you aren't working or are an employee because you 'only' work 2 days a week part-time...

Have you got some kind of utopian ideal of society in your head OP?

[kaytee87]

Seriously though, why do you care?

[TragicRabbit]

Hang on a minute, isn't Katie Hopkins at a loose end at the moment?

[DeleteOrDecay]

Seriously though why call yourself a stay at home parent if you're children aren't there?

Occasionally my parents or my partners parents take our dc for the entire weekend. Are we suddenly no longer parents on those weekends?

Your argument is ridiculous. You clearly have a chip on your shoulder.

[bigbluebus]

You do realise that children only go to school 38 weeks of the year - less than that if you get snow days! So that's 14 weks of the year when the SAHP is actually parenting full time.

Would you be happier if we all used the term 'economically inactive' - as I have had to describe myself on various forms recently. Just a trendy term for "I don't work and I'm not currently looking for a job". (and before I get flamed I don't claim any benefits!)

[JacquesHammer]

@TheJennaThing

So what would YOU like the term to be...?

Its a conventional term that everybody understands. Would you really like people to say "oh well I'm a SAHM until 9.00am and then I drop the children at school so I'm not really being a parent they're not in the house but then I'm a SAHM again at 3.30pm"?

Its an easy way of appraising anyone who asks of a situation; you're the default caregiver and don't use another method of childcare.

"The Jenna Thing" isn't a terribly erudite thing is it?

[PricillaQueenOfTheDesert]

There really are bigger things for you to worry about.

[Firesuit]

I agree that you're only unemployed if you don't have a job and (in the opinion of yourself and anyone who may be supporting you) you don't need one. A SAHP is not usually unemployed. Retired people don't work but are not unemployed. People choosing to live off savings or investment income are not unemployed.

[DeleteOrDecay]

I don't understand why you're so bothered op? Does it affect you in any way? Or are you just bitter?

[NataliaOsipova]

Funnily enough, I personally hate the term "SAHM", do I always say "I don't work". That's all right, I presume ?

[EdithFinch]

Not to stay at home while you're children aren't there and make out like you're devoting every minute into being a parent.

utter bollocks, what about doing all chores and errands so nothing needs to be done when the kids are back home and at the weekend and you have a proper family life? Everything is clean, tidy and organised, diner just needs to be reheated and you can spend the afternoons and evenings completely stress-free. You should try it.

[SpiritedLondon]

I personally don’t care enough about the issue to get worked up about it - each to their own and all that. What does enrage me on these threads are the comments about “ yes because well paid jobs between 9.30 and 2.30 are so easy to find and then I also have to cover inset days and illness”. I work and I can assure you that I do not know a single working parent working those hours and we all seem to muddle through with the use of various forms of childcare. Amazing isn’t it? So don’t work if you don’t want, do what suits your family but stop using THAT crappy reason to justify your decisions.

[BrizzleDrizzle]

Following your strange logic, people with children at boarding school aren't parents at all.

[lalalalyra]

What do you suggest people call themselves?

"I'm a SAHP Mondays, alternate Wednesdays and Fridays, but on Tuesdays and Thursdays when the littlies go to nursery, and alternate Wednesdays when Granny takes them I'm a Lady Wot Lunches..."

[runningoutofjuice]

Blimey, who died and put you in charge of the acronyms?

[BrieAndChilli]

I work 3 hours a day while my 3 kids are in school.
I earn £8.50 an hour but to put the kids in afterschool club would cost me £10 an hour so I would be making a loss.

So far this term my kids had had 1 ENT appt, 1 hearing test, 2 emergency dental appts, 1 sickness bug meaning 2 days off school, 1 bang to the head which needed me to go and collect from school, 3 orthodontist appts (the orthodontist only works 2 mornings a week) couple of doctors appts, I 24 hour high temp bug, 1 speech therapy assessment,
That’s a total of 8.5 days I would have had to take off, which is a lot when we don’t have enough holiday to cover the school holidays and inset days as it is.
School holiday care costs £100 a day and I only earn £25! As most places are whole days only.

It’s not cheap working when You have kids and no family to help and don’t have a high paying job.

[DonnyAndVladSittingInATree]

it's an economic term with a reasonably precise meaning. Which excludes the retired and SAHPs. All the unemployment statistics quoted in the papers are calculated on this basis.

You can be unemployed with no intention of looking for a job and without being retired or a SAHP. Unemployed does not mean you are seeking employment.