You shouldn't use the term SAHM if...

[TheJennaThing]

You don't have children at home during the day? As in, they're in school.
I'm all for SAHP if they're children are actually at home but unless your OH earns mega bucks and you don't need to work surely SAHM isn't the right term if you just decide you're not going to work when you're kids are at school.

[EdithFinch]

The question 'what do you do?' drives me mad too...
Your job isn't who you are and whether you work or not is not who you are.

I couldn't agree more, but I do ask people what they do - to make small talk about something else than the weather. It's not too personal, and open the door to a lot of subjects.

[NataliaOsipova]

Going to be a pedant here....but "unemployed" means actively seeking and available for work.

No it doesn’t. Be a better pedant.

And your definition is.....?

[Pumperthepumper]

The arguement for not using ‘full time mum’ is that you’re a mum regardless of whether you work or not. So surely that applies to ‘stay at home mum’ too?

[illl]

SAHM/D is a daft term, just like when people use the term full time mum.

Essentially it's trying to make it sound better than saying unemployed.

Well that's bullshit.

Stay at home parent is perfectly fine as a way to describe what someone does. They are a parent who stays at home to look after their kids rather than use childcare.

Full time parent is a stupid description though.

[Bluntness100]

I think it’s very clear the op is being goady and just wants to argue. For whatever reason, but that’s her objective.

[TragicRabbit]

I don't know or care about others' reasons but
I am a sahm to my youngest because he has 2 disabilities. He goes to school everyday (1/2 an hour in a taxi) but I can get phone calls for advice, pick-ups, emergency meetings at any point. Never mind clinic and Paediatric appointments.
I would love to work and have a Masters but this is the most important job I can imagine having in my entire life.

[kaytee87]

Op you do realise not all sahm receive benefits? I was made redundant just before returning to work from maternity so am an accidental sahm (but actually love this extra time with him) and we're not even entitled to child benefit. I hate this assumption that sahm are all 'lazy benefit scroungers'

Also as pp have pointed out there are very few jobs that are 10am-2pm term time only which is what someone would need if they can't afford childcare / don't have available family.

[EdithFinch]

I prefer domestic goddess myself.



May I suggest Lady of Leisure?

[CurlsandCurves]

Don’t see what the problem is. I’m a parent and I’m at home as opposed to going out to work. Therefore I am a stay at home parent. The fact that the kids are at school for some of the day is irrelevant.

Same as someone who works is a working parent. They are still a parent, still working whether the kids are in school, childcare, at grandparents, whatever.

[JacquesHammer]

My OP was really really talking about the people who don't work because they're stretching every benefit they receive to not work even though their kids are at school. That's pure laziness, it's not staying at home in the day to parent to your child as an alternative to working

How do you know these people do that? Do they wear badges?

I used to please myself when DD was at school. Did the housework and that was it. Read some books, watched movies, pottered about in the garden. Volunteered at school and a singing charity.

It was rather blissful actually.

[abbsisspartacus]

I'm classed as a sahm in January I will be classed as a jobseeker except I'm working but not enough hours to make it that I'm classed as working

Confused yet?

[EdithFinch]

I think it’s very clear the op is being goady and just wants to argue. For whatever reason, but that’s her objective.

Without a doubt, but there is a nasty current against SAHM on this forum, so the points made are valid nevertheless.

[LittleDorritt]

Yawn.

[DeleteOrDecay]

Essentially it's trying to make it sound better than saying unemployed.

No it's not. But we'll done for devaluing what sahp's do. I bet you feel great about yourself now.

[WillowWept]

OP how would you describe parents of school age that don’t work?

I’m open to suggestions

[NataliaOsipova]

Not to speak for another poster but surely the answer is 'someone not employed', as the prefix 'un' directly negates the 'employed' part?

No - it's an economic term with a precise (ish!) meaning. The unemployment statistics specifically exclude the retired, SAHPs etc.

[MammaTJ]

My OP was really really talking about the people who don't work because they're stretching every benefit they receive to not work even though their kids are at school. That's pure laziness, it's not staying at home in the day to parent to your child as an alternative to working.

Ah, so benefit bashing under a different guise! Why didn't you say so?

I do not work. My DC are of school age. My DP doesn't earn much, even though he works full time. Yes, we claim benefits.

I am a SAHM! By your definition only to one of my DC though, the one I home school. I home school her because of severe bullying that was causing her and myself stress. If I had been working out of the home, I could not have entertained pulling her out of school. Oh, and I am disabled, so get PIP too-bash that!

[DeleteOrDecay]

My OP was really really talking about the people who don't work because they're stretching every benefit they receive to not work even though their kids are at schoo

Ah, so you just wanted to benefit bash. Makes sense now.

[DonnyAndVladSittingInATree]

And your definition is.....?

Mine? The same as the dictionary’s. It means you aren’t employed. As in, you don’t have a job.

[Rach5l]

How about PTP (part-time parent) if you work & FTP if you don't

[stitchglitched]

Why do you care what other parents call themselves? Load of old goady bollocks.