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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Anyone remember the Flexi-time CF?

885 replies

Abouttoblow · 09/12/2017 20:12

Thought I'd heard the last of her but unfortunately not. Colleague who left her job due to cheeky fuckery with her flexi-time for those of you who missed the first instalment.

I'm moving between fuming, embarrassed and incredulous at the moment. I've also laughed but I think that's shock more than anything Smile
DH and I were out for the afternoon at a Christmas market. Had a lovely day and stopped at an coffee shop with tables outside before coming home.
We'd been there about 10 minutes when I noticed a group of ladies in their 60's a few tables away and one of them was staring straight at me. I didn't recognise her and carried on with chatting with DH. I noticed her again when all her friends started turning round to have a look. I didn't know any of them.
I'm starting to think she may be someone I'd been in contact with in a work capacity as she is looking quite angry. As I said in the original thread I work with children/families and I have been approached by people previously who have been angry and upset. Only a couple of times though.
I continue to ignore it and we're getting ready to leave. DH goes inside to pay and use the loo and the minute he does this lady gets up and comes over, with her takeaway coffee cup in her hand. I can tell by her face it's not going to be a pleasant chat.
She asks if I'm pleased with myself and I say "I'm sorry, I don't know who you are". She says she's FTCF's mother and who do I think I am to refuse her daughter a reference! Do I realise I've ruined her career and I should be ashamed of myself. Everyone is looking now and I don't want to get into it so I just say she really doesn't have all the information.
She then takes the lid off her coffee and empties it into my fucking handbag on the table and walks off!!!!
I'm absolutely gobsmacked Shock
I'm home now and want to call FTCF and give her a mouthful but DH is trying to talk me out of it.
Maybe I should just have a large G&T Gin

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3023633-To-make-an-official-complaint-about-colleague

OP posts:
Anniegetyourgun · 09/12/2017 21:39

Actions have consequences

Indeed they do, as she found out (but I don't think the message quite sank in) and her mother is about to, one hopes.

AnathemaPulsifer · 09/12/2017 21:39

Glad you're reporting. Who knows what they may feel you've driven them to do next time if they don't see some consequences.

Cornettoninja · 09/12/2017 21:40

Yup report it asap. They sound like awful people who would revel in the escalation of it all. Put a stop to it now and don't minimise the coffee shop altercation or that text you've just received.

Normal people, even CF's, know when to back off, it's not a normal reaction to insist on stoking the argument completely unprovoked.

honeyroar · 09/12/2017 21:40

That text is unbelievable! But she's right. Actions do have consequences and she and her mum are going to find that out. You should show that text to the police too. They're unhinged.

Salvadore · 09/12/2017 21:40

What a batshit family! So glad you are reporting

AnathemaPulsifer · 09/12/2017 21:41

This would be the time to let work know that you were attacked for refusing to fraudulently write her a reference.

Original poster
Abouttoblow · 09/12/2017 21:41

Anathema Luckily phone was in my hand at the time.
Just text my boss to let him know just so it's on record.

OP posts:
MrsAJ27 · 09/12/2017 21:41

WTF is wrong with these ppl, report to the police asap.

Disgusting behaviour from grown bloody adults

Gin
ny20005 · 09/12/2017 21:41

Jeez, she's really upping the craziness !

Report to police & report the text to your work 😱

MammaTJ · 09/12/2017 21:41

So they're now blaming you for her mother attacking you!! OMG!!

Yes, you have evidence, you have further harassment and a threat!! No way would I not report this!

MrsSeverusSnape · 09/12/2017 21:42

Oh her poor mother, her day was ruined when she had to commit criminal damage.

My thoughts and prayers are with Mum Of FTCF at this difficult time.

rachelracket · 09/12/2017 21:44

ShockShockShock

the absolute CF of this entire situation. these two need their heads banging together.

LapdanceShoeshine · 09/12/2017 21:45

No idea if this is relevant but years ago DD1 had a run-in with an ex-friend (both aged 18-ish). Ex-friend subsequently tipped a pint glass of Ribena over her in a pub (clothes stained purple) & ran away laughing.

Apparently this amounted to ABH - the police called on her, & when she laughed at them they stuck her in the back of a van & took her away for a good talking-to.

So yes, DEFINITELY report her to the police. It must be criminal damage in this case, & she is definitely old enough to know better Angry

diddl · 09/12/2017 21:45

Has the mother told the CF that you poured coffee in her bag??!!

Some people just can't accept responsibility or be wrong about anything.

Did I understand correctly from the other thread that you weren't actually in a position to provide a reference-even if you had wanted to?

TheOtherClass · 09/12/2017 21:46

Did you take photos of your bag? if so can we see some pleaseGrin

Crashbangwhatausername · 09/12/2017 21:49

She poured a coffee into your handbag because you previously didn't agree to fraudulently write her daughter a reference? Gracious me

BewareOfDragons · 09/12/2017 21:49

"You are absolutely right FTCF. Actions do have consequences. Which is why your mother should be expecting a visit from the police as I have contacted them over her criminal actions. Have a good day."

Original poster
Abouttoblow · 09/12/2017 21:49

diddl Absolutely. She left giving no notice so didn't think she'd get a good reference from our boss so put me down but I was never her line manager and couldn't give her a reference even if I wanted to - which I didn't.

OP posts:
BewareOfDragons · 09/12/2017 21:51

It really is nuts. You sitting there, minding your own business, ruined HER mother's day so much that she had to verbally attack you and cause criminal damage.

I agree that you should also make them aware of the follow up harassing text. perhaps they'll visit her as well.

Maelstrop · 09/12/2017 21:52

How dare you what? Have coffee with your DH?! I think your cf colleague and her mum are batshit!! I'm glad you've reported it. Keep the text, go down the station and show this to them. You'll need to make a statement, probably. Don't respond to her whatever you do.

diddl · 09/12/2017 21:52

I was thinking it was a shame that you didn't have a copy of the email where she asks you to pretend to be her line manager to show her mum.

But I'm guessing the mum would just have thought that you should have gone along with it.Hmm

It beggars belief.

Usernamegone · 09/12/2017 21:54

Definitely report to the police as it could esculate into a campaign of harrassement against you. I would say it already has following the coffee incident and now the text message. I would ask the police to see if any thing can be put in place to stop them contacting you

happymumof4crazykids · 09/12/2017 21:54

Omg I've just read through your first thread then this one and I can't believe how she is so completely unaware of how entitled she behaves! As for her crazy mother wtf is wrong with her? She's a grown woman and you have done nothing wrong!

GeekyWombat · 09/12/2017 21:56

Definitely report it now. Show them the texts too.

wheresmycat · 09/12/2017 21:56

Pretty sure this+texting would interest the police on grounds of harassment as well. You do right to report it!