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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Anyone remember the Flexi-time CF?

885 replies

Abouttoblow · 09/12/2017 20:12

Thought I'd heard the last of her but unfortunately not. Colleague who left her job due to cheeky fuckery with her flexi-time for those of you who missed the first instalment.

I'm moving between fuming, embarrassed and incredulous at the moment. I've also laughed but I think that's shock more than anything Smile
DH and I were out for the afternoon at a Christmas market. Had a lovely day and stopped at an coffee shop with tables outside before coming home.
We'd been there about 10 minutes when I noticed a group of ladies in their 60's a few tables away and one of them was staring straight at me. I didn't recognise her and carried on with chatting with DH. I noticed her again when all her friends started turning round to have a look. I didn't know any of them.
I'm starting to think she may be someone I'd been in contact with in a work capacity as she is looking quite angry. As I said in the original thread I work with children/families and I have been approached by people previously who have been angry and upset. Only a couple of times though.
I continue to ignore it and we're getting ready to leave. DH goes inside to pay and use the loo and the minute he does this lady gets up and comes over, with her takeaway coffee cup in her hand. I can tell by her face it's not going to be a pleasant chat.
She asks if I'm pleased with myself and I say "I'm sorry, I don't know who you are". She says she's FTCF's mother and who do I think I am to refuse her daughter a reference! Do I realise I've ruined her career and I should be ashamed of myself. Everyone is looking now and I don't want to get into it so I just say she really doesn't have all the information.
She then takes the lid off her coffee and empties it into my fucking handbag on the table and walks off!!!!
I'm absolutely gobsmacked Shock
I'm home now and want to call FTCF and give her a mouthful but DH is trying to talk me out of it.
Maybe I should just have a large G&T Gin

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3023633-To-make-an-official-complaint-about-colleague

OP posts:
WhatCanIDoNowPlease · 09/12/2017 20:40

Please, as everyone agrees on, report it.

honeyroar · 09/12/2017 20:40

Ignore it and rise above it?!!

You were assaulted in front of a whole shop. You should report it to the police, who really ought to have a word with her. She shouldn't just get away with behaviour like that.

MynewnameisKy · 09/12/2017 20:41

I would check if there is any CCTV I'm pretty sure you could claim criminal damages. She probably just get a caution but possibly worth it.

NowIKnow · 09/12/2017 20:42

I'm not sure I'd recognise a parent of anyone I've worked with previously. And conversely a colleague of one of my children.

Inertia · 09/12/2017 20:43

I'd report it to the police- if she's willing to damage your property in front of a coffee shop full of people then she might be quite prepared to hurt you if circumstances allowed. She clearly waited until your husband was out of the way to approach you.

lettingthedaysgoby · 09/12/2017 20:43

Agreed it's almost certainly assault, will have been recorded on CCTV and you should report.

Inertia · 09/12/2017 20:44

And I wouldn't contact her daughter at all.

sausagepastapot · 09/12/2017 20:46

I'd absolutely report that to the police.

HashiAsLarry · 09/12/2017 20:46

Definitely report this to the police. That could have burned you, let alone damaging any possessions. What will happen the next time she runs into someone CF has beef with?

chickenowner · 09/12/2017 20:47

I'd report it to the police- if she's willing to damage your property in front of a coffee shop full of people then she might be quite prepared to hurt you if circumstances allowed. She clearly waited until your husband was out of the way to approach you.

I agree.

allaboutthatsass · 09/12/2017 20:48

OP, something similar happened to my grandmother in a coffee shop whilst my mother went to the loo. Not work related but the woman got charged with breach of the peace. So I'd phone the police if I were you. I'm sure the coffee shop staff will act as witnesses.

Original poster
Abouttoblow · 09/12/2017 20:48

Thanks everyone for the support. I can't tell you how shocked I am.
First world problem I know as it's only a handbag but it was really unpleasant to experience. And from a grown woman.
I shall calm myself down have some more gin and decide what to do.

OP posts:
Gemini69 · 09/12/2017 20:48

Report this escalating behaviour.. this is a dangerous woman Flowers

allaboutthatsass · 09/12/2017 20:49

oh and I agree, you should stress to the police that you feel threatened.

totsalot · 09/12/2017 20:50

Please report this, and definately mention it to your employer. God what a nasty old childish cow!!!

Slaylormoon · 09/12/2017 20:51

Please report this, people shouldn't get away with pulling nasty shit like that.

notapizzaeater · 09/12/2017 20:51

Wow, wonder where her daughter got her CF from !! I’d report it just so she knows she can’t bully people like that

JaneEyre70 · 09/12/2017 20:52

Wow, I've just caught up with your other thread. That's actually a really aggressive action OP and I agree with others that you need to report it. They will have CCTV to cover that seating area. If you don't report it, it's as if you are agreeing you did something wrong. What a crazy mothertrucker.

bellabasset · 09/12/2017 20:52

This must have been extremely unpleasant for you. I would report it to the police in the hope they are able to identify her on CCTV and contact her.

I would not be surprised if no action is taken but you might want to record it as a note to the employee's HR record.

JaneEyre70 · 09/12/2017 20:53

And also make sure you report it at work. Just so it's on file.

CoffeebyIV · 09/12/2017 20:53

Wow. Just wow. The apple really doesn’t fall from the tree does it!

DeadMorose · 09/12/2017 20:53

Definitely report.

mousemoose · 09/12/2017 20:55

Completely unbelievable and yes, def police, if she’d do that in front of her friends, in a public place with cctv who knows what else she’d do! You poor thing, it’s really awful.

notacooldad · 09/12/2017 20:57

Rise above it? How about standing up for yourself!
As others have said she has assaulted you

'Assault. At Common Law, an intentional act by one person that creates an apprehension in another of an imminent harmful or offensive contact. An assault is carried out by a threat of bodily harm coupled with an apparent, present ability to cause the harm.

Once she approached you she created a feeling of apprehension and with the pouring of the brew into your property she she has created the ability to cause harm.
I would strongly recommend that this is reported and you want some kind of result.

If she lives local to you do you really want to bump in to her wondering what she is going to say and do next?

WallisFrizz · 09/12/2017 20:58

It is a 100% criminal damage offence. Feel free to report it x

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