To really, really, really dislike having to buy presents for people.

[MaidenMotherCrone]

Not just at Christmas but birthdays, anniversaries etc. I do buy them but get I'd rather not have to bother. I dislike receiving presents too. I've done the 'let's not do presents this year' to be met with 'oh we have to do presents, just a little thing yes?'

Noooooooo!

I fully accept I probably ABU and a massive misery but it's the whole expectation thing.

We don't exchange gifts at Christmas in.my family ( no children) but we make donations to charity instead. I was really irritated this week when a friend rang up to say she'd be dropping my present round this week, despite my saying that I wasn't buying any this year. I'm not going to get her anything although I know I'll feel awkward.

Kindergartencop - I absolutely get you. I am the same.

Get into the real spirit of it all. I love this. Forget about presents for a minute or two!

Finally I have found my type of people!! Hate buying as I am rubbish at it and hate receiving as my house in the size of a rabbit hutch and I share a bedroom with my children - we don't have room for anything.
My friend and I agreed not to buy but she still does, but then complains she has no money!
So frustrating, love Christmas food just not presents!

I love the spirit of "misrule", parties, decorations, special food, television, carol concerts, seeing people I haven't seen for ages, winter walks, quiet, a holiday from everything, family and friends, snow (sometimes), a chance to reflect at the mid point of the Winter.
So I am not a complete Misery

@ Mirai,

Can be done all through Winter.

Christmas has been overtaken by commercialism and sentimentality.

Haven't done presents in my family since we were kids, for Christmas or birthday, and DH and I stopped doing presents a few years back. We all still get each other stuff - but just not specifically for specific times of year, we'll get something for a loved one or a friend because we know they'd like something, or because we want to give them a lift and show them we care. I buy gifts all the time, but never for Xmas. Loathe receiving presents as I don't need more stuff- and then I feel guilty about getting rid of whatever I've been given that I don't want, because it was a gift

I find both giving gifts and receiving incredibly stressful.

I worry intensely about what to buy people and feel guilty at the thought that they might not like it and may have to fake gratitude.

I don’t really look forward to receiving gifts any more. They’re normally not to my taste, I always act grateful, surprised, send a personal thank you message but I’m tired of this. Every year I ask family if we can drop the gifting at Christmas but they all want to continue (I’ve been asking if we can stop for 18 years now).

I wish I didn’t feel like this. It’s horrible. It would be so much easier if I enjoyed this part of the festive season. I don’t know if there’s a solution. I don’t want to hurt my family by not gifting any more so I just put my feelings to the side.

I have found my people.

I hate the whole charade.

I have told DP i don’t want a Christmas present and he knows I mean it

I hate buying surprise gifts I much prefer it if people tell me what they would like instead. I'd rather get people something they want and need than clutter up their houses with yet more crap. So many things bought at Christmas end up in landfill it feels pointless. I don't need a gift from my friends and family to feel valued their love and friendship is enough.

Yanbu.
I love time, food, drink, music,games and fun with my family and friends.
Buying some shite which is unecessary and ends up in a cupboard is pointless. What a waste of time, resources and money.
Didn't exchange with my dad this year- absolutely fine as we both agreed.
The rest of the fam. Don't feel the same so we buy. But the volume has been cut drastically.

I was really over Christmas a few years beck, it gave me heart sink. Then I realised I could make stuff for people, it was a lot of effort, but I made things I knew people would really like, and it brought the excitement back.

We asked for no wedding gifts as we had enough 'stuff', but if people felt they wished to give, asked that they make a donation to two of our favourite charities, in memory of my late mother

People still brought gifts. Which was so very very thoughtful. But we ended up with some random glassware and ornamental bowls and a picnic hamper that we neither wanted or needed. And which we feel guilty about getting rid of because people we loved spent their hard earned money on them. But we've never used them! We asked for no gifts but people still felt the need to buy them, instead of just bringing us the pleasure of their company (or making a charitable donation to the charities we'd named)

YANBU.

We agreed years ago to not do presents for adults. Now one adult in the extended family is coming for Christmas Day, and this person ‘loves doing presents’. So it has been decided that we’re all doing a Santa Santa.

I am disproportionately pissed off about this. I can’t think of anything more pointless than a bunch of adults passing round generic crap for the sake of it.

Mirai, how are any of those things "misrule"?
I must be living a very unruly life

I love buying for the children but that is about it.

I feel awkward when receiving a present. Did I seem grateful enough? Did I say thank you enough? Did I manage to cover up how much I didn't want a bar of soap enough? It stresses me out.

I love getting presents from DH though. He knows what I love and I don't have to worry about my reaction.

Buying for other people can be a chore. DH for example is a nightmare to buy for.

Nothing worse than a gift buyer who thinks buying a boots 3 for 2 is acceptable

YANBU

I have just read on another forum of a poster who buys something for her sister and her sister buys the exact same thing for her. WTF!!

I am an adult and I enjoy giving and receiving presents! Would be quite gutted if my family adopted the no presents for adults rule. It'll never happen though!

I do feel sorry though for people whose friends and family buy them generic crap. That must be rubbish. I am lucky that my friends and family are, generally speaking, excellent gift givers. That's why I get so excited about getting presents!

Fuck but what is an "excellent present"? There's so little that I actually WANT that I can't see it somehow?

In my extended family we buy for kids, but now have the dilemma of when do they stop being kids? On leaving school? Not fair on my nephew who left at 16 when the rest left at 18. On leaving full time education? One relative handed my daughter a card with a large amount of cash last year and stated she counted as a kid since she never had kids of her own, she was 19 and working albeit only part time.

I'm going to take tubes of sweeties to the family gathering tomorrow for the kids still at school, all are 12 or under. I'm not buying anything for the older kids, all between 18 and 22 (about 7 of them). They vary between being in education and work, those in work have far more spare cash than me! Also in that bunch almost all are lactose intolerant or vegan so standard chocolates and sweets are out.

Even then I wonder about the wisdom of buying sweets when the kids will probably receive far too many over the holidays. I'm not close enough to any of these kids to buy them something low budget and personal.

One relative buys each family group a small gift such as a plant (I gave the poinsetta away last year because they are poisonous to cats) or box of biscuits. I don't reciprocate because I don't have the spare money to buy several generic gifts, and don't want to receive them either. I'm happy we get together and share a meal and afternoon together.

It has got to the point where buying has got out of control and even kids get far too much a lot of the time.

Giving presents is most of the pleasure of Christmas for me, and I think my family enjoy it too - perhaps because we're a small bunch and don't go OTT so it's not stressful or exorbitant.

We generally go for books and nice consumables, which everyone appreciates as far as I can tell. I'm grand with a pair of socks and a shampoo set. If one of us is broke or ill or too busy or whatever they'll do some baking or get a lottery ticket and promise to split the proceeds

It is awkward to receive something you really don't like, either a piece of cheap rubbish someone bought at a petrol station, or an expensive and very loving gift that totally misses the mark. I tell friends not to buy for me and make sure they know I mean it! We meet up for coffee and exchange cards.

TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU!!! Hate it. Waste of time and money!