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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder if the TIL's are trying to take the piss...

94 replies

GoJetterGirl · 08/12/2017 16:32

So, as many of you have read my last few threads re: Toddler in laws, you'll remember that my DS is undergoing chemo for his cancer relapse, and they have been constantly boundary stomping and trying to undermine my and DHs parenting in general...

So, TIL decide they are coming up to visit again, I start with my usual "please don't, not a good time, starting another cycle of a new chemo next week and he doesn't need a cold, etc"

So, FIL interrupts me and states "we don't have colds, we both just have slight chills" WTAF?!?! WTF is the difference between and cold and a chill?!

So in short, can I feel justified in pitching a fucking massive fit and telling them to get to fuck, it's not them who has to deal with the aftermath of the "chill" once they've passed it to DS, or are old people's chills miraculously non infectious?! I don't even know what a bloody chill is!

OP posts:
ethelfleda · 08/12/2017 16:34

YANBU - they are being very thoughtless.

Sorry to hear about your Ds- sending happy thoughts Flowers

Elmosmum · 08/12/2017 16:35

I'd go batshit. That's terrible, it's putting your sons life at risk. Just lock the door Thanks

SparklyUnicornTractors · 08/12/2017 16:36

Hello again, I'm sorry they're still being buggers! Flowers You know YANBU at all. And you also know sadly since you've tried every other possible way and proved that they have hide like rhinos and no sense of responsibility whatever, the only way to get them to not make things hugely worse for everyone is to pitch your fucking massive fit and make it strong enough and dramatic enough that they back off.

Consequence of them not coming? They're pissed off. Consequences of ds getting a cold? Much worse, and he's dealing with enough poor baby, as are you and dh.

Original poster
GoJetterGirl · 08/12/2017 16:36

Lock the door, I'll knock them the fuck out... I'm past the point of being nice tbh, how dare they try to tell me that they don't have colds!!!

OP posts:
Travis1 · 08/12/2017 16:38

No way! I spent one day with my colleagues germs on Monday and was floored for 2 days. Tell them to fuck off to the far side of fuck and when they get there to fuck of some more. So bloody inconsiderate!

mustbemad17 · 08/12/2017 16:39

Implement an OTT sterilisation process at the door including stupid haz mat suits & facemasks. If you drag it out long enough they'll cough in front of you (or sneeze) then you can legitimately beat them to death.

In all seriousness, i'm sorry to hear about DS Flowers you would not in any way be unreasonable to tell them to get to fuck. Have you a baseball bat in the vicinity?

ConciseandNice · 08/12/2017 16:41

IT'S FUCKIN CHEMO.

Tell them to JOG ON! YANBU

Jux · 08/12/2017 16:55

OMG, they really are awful.

Yes, throw the biggest fit of your life at them. Forbid them coming. Make them stay in a hotel and you visit them there, perhaps.

So sorry you have to contend with this.

GetOffTheTableMabel · 08/12/2017 16:57

Can you invoke 3rd party advice? I don't mean actually bothering our ds's doctors about this, since you are quite clear that it would be wrong for them to visit, just pretending that you have.
"I have checked with the doctor and they have been very clear that ds can NOT have visitors at the moment. Even if people who seem well can be incubating germs that are not yet symptomatic so the doctors have said NO." It is not you saying no, it is the expert medical team.
Sorry you are having to deal with this. Flowers

GetOffTheTableMabel · 08/12/2017 16:57

*your, not our. sorry!

MrsPicklesonSmythe · 08/12/2017 17:02

Oh you poor thing I can't believe these people! I think you're past the point where it matters if you're nice or not. I'd use the previous posters point about doctors advising no visitors and don't bother trying to sugar coat it for them.

gobster · 08/12/2017 17:02

God I genuinely thought this people couldn’t get any worse but they do, I’m so sorry they keep putting you through this

I take it they’ve finally decided to allow the news of their grandson to reach their delicate ears?

I think you are justified it whatever action you decide to take, after the ruining their Christmas comments I think they burnt the very last of whatever bridge was left

therealposieparker · 08/12/2017 17:03

Can you not tell them to fuck off? I mean seriously, this is your Ds's health.

therealposieparker · 08/12/2017 17:03

And lots of love to you and your DS, x

Blackteadrinker77 · 08/12/2017 17:05

Wow that is over stepping. I'd be tempted to send them an email or letter saying no, not until his chemo is finished and he is stronger. Skype only for now.

AdoraBell · 08/12/2017 17:05

Has your DH tried telling them to fuck off?

I would go with telling them the Doctors have banned visitors and just not open the door when they turn up. Can you disconnect the door bell?

Floellabumbags · 08/12/2017 17:05

They can get tae fucking fuck! Jeezo, move house and don't tell them.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 08/12/2017 17:09

Jesus, I'm not sure it's possible to be any more inconsiderate than potentially putting your DS at risk!!!

I would be fuming also.

Sorry about your DS by the way, hope all goes well.

Ceto · 08/12/2017 17:10

Tell them that medical advice is that he cannot risk a chill, cold, sniffle, little tickle or whatever ridiculous term they choose to minimise the problem.

Mummyoflittledragon · 08/12/2017 17:10

Bucket of cold water thrown on them from an upstairs window? This will give them the chills.

Please stop trying to give these people air. Do not answer the phone or the door. Tell the hospital they are not to be admitted. Flowers

Ceto · 08/12/2017 17:11

Or you could try shock tactics and ask why they're trying to kill him.

Auntpetunia2015 · 08/12/2017 17:17

Have just read through all your previous threads about these mad people. I’d use the consultant as the person who said no to visitors. People of their age often revere such high up medical professionals.

So it’s “ nope mr xx the consultant said no visitors, don’t bother as you won’t be getting in. Obviously you understand that it’s imperative we follow mr xx the consultants rules!!

JustAnIdiot · 08/12/2017 17:21

A "chill" suggests a fever, so, while they might not have colds, they could be brewing something worse! Hmm

Selfish in the extreme! Shock

BarbarianMum · 08/12/2017 17:21

Are you really posting to ask if you are being unreasonable? Why do you suppose you are so full of rage towards them on here but so unwilling to lay down the law in real life?

The reality is you don't have to ask them not to come or beg them or reason with them. You can just say no and refuse to open the door. You could cut them out totally.

StormTreader · 08/12/2017 17:23

Time to rock out the serious language.

Tell them the doctors (plural, more serious) have been extremely firm (youre under orders) that the slightest illness of any kind could make him CRITICALLY ILL and therefore you are not allowed to expose him to anyone until they allow it (its not you, its the very strict doctors).

Visiting simply isnt possible right now, the doctors wont allow it under any circumstances. Maybe they could skype with him?