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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

CF friend or AIBU?

990 replies

SilverBirchTree · 07/12/2017 00:31

We recently cleared out a family attic and found an antique object that is associated with a profession (think fireman's helmet/doctor's bag/judge's gavel etc). We looked it up online and saw they sell on eBay for between £150-350.

A friend of mine's FIL is retired from this profession and his hobby is researching its history. He has even self published books about it. He is a lovely man who I see about twice a year. He lost his wife a few months ago so he has been in my recent thoughts.

It is such a marvellous object (beautiful with history and craftsmanship) we decided we'd rather see it go to someone who would appreciate it, rather than sell it.

I asked my friend if her FIL would enjoy it. She responded that he would love it. When I dropped it off at her house, she and her husband said something about wrapping it up and making it their Christmas gift to their FIL. I was Hmm because it wasn't really from them, but whatever.

Today I saw on Facebook that she has put the object for sale online. Shock I messaged her a screen shot of the ad with the message '???' She wrote back 'hey, u gave it to us! I'm going to use the money to buy everyone a Chrissy present, not just [FIL]. We showed it to him and he enjoyed looking at it and taking snaps. Time for someone else to enjoy! :)'

I am so annoyed! She's correct that I gave it away- but I didn't give it to her to sell!! I feel like demanding that she either return the object to me or at least give me the money from the sale.

She's a good friend otherwise, but the kind of person who is always hunting for a bargain or a freebie. It was fun at uni but getting a bit tiresome today!!!

AIBU or is my friend a PITA?!

OP posts:
StefMay · 07/12/2017 22:15

Place marking? Moi? But of course.

Please get the item back OP!

notapizzaeater · 07/12/2017 22:20

Can’t believe the cheek of some people, she def shouldn’t have done it anyway but as soon as she realised you wanted it back should have been grovelling

DJBaggySmalls · 07/12/2017 22:22

Its theft. Obtaining an item under false pretenses is theft. Go get it back.

Worldsworstcook · 07/12/2017 22:24

I personally wouldn't pass it on to FIL now either. She may well wangle it off him sometime in the future or after his demise to sell it then. I'd sell it myself and either do something nice for my own famil or give the money to a deserving cause knowing she didn't get a penny of it

MrsJamin · 07/12/2017 22:25

Have you got it back, OP?! #overinvested

A1Sharon · 07/12/2017 22:33

This thread will keep me up all night...
Some people are so cheeky!!

Belleoftheball8 · 07/12/2017 22:34

Hope you get it back op cf she is.

Scarydinosaurs · 07/12/2017 22:34

Her rudeness is unbelievable! What a grabby bitch.

MadMags · 07/12/2017 22:35

Just read through this! CF x 1,000,000

heartyrebel · 07/12/2017 22:36

I can't stand people like her

honeyroar · 07/12/2017 22:42

That's not the kind of friend I'd spend any more time with!!

I hope you get it back. If she repeats that her father in law will be upset (?? Why would she sell it in the first place then??) you could tell her you will give it him personally in the future, as you don't trust her anymore. If you do give it him tell him you've given it him to enjoy and would rather he return it than sell it on or let CF sell it on.

But personally I'd happily let a friendship like this go. It's clearly not a real friendship.

LittleLights · 07/12/2017 22:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PelvicFloorClenchReminder · 07/12/2017 22:46

If she ever asks you to look after her children, make sure you sell them on ebay then say you didn't think she wanted them anymore.

Original poster
SilverBirchTree · 07/12/2017 22:49

Feeding the baby again, so I have a hand free to update you. I can't believe people are so invested in my silly problem! But thank you, its been good to have something to giggle at at 4am! Smile

I went to her house this morning, 15 minutes late because I was held up feeding the baby, and no one answered the door. There was a car in the drive though Hmm.

The ad has been taken off Facebook, but the eBay auction is still running.

I'm fed up, going to send DH over to get it.

Sorry I don't have an outcome for you, I feel like you all deserve an ending! I promise I'll let you know what happens this afternoon. But honestly, if DH doesn't manage to retrieve it, I think I'll just give up on it. It's annoying but I didn't lose any money (cost me nothing, wasn't planning to sell it). I don't think I'll even enjoy the item now, this awkward experience has sort of tainted it for me.

Either way, I'm going to take a break from CF friend. It's not even what she's done to me that's most annoying. I'm pretty sure she never offered the object to her FIL and never intended to. Which makes her a mean DIL, because it might have given him some joy after the crappy year he's had.

I knew she could be grabby and a bit silly, but I hadn't seen meanness in her before.

OP posts:
clairethewitch70 · 07/12/2017 22:53

Don't give up, don't let her get away with it Xmas Shock

CeciliaBartolli · 07/12/2017 22:55

another cheeky fucker thread, then.Wine

timeisnotaline · 07/12/2017 22:56

You are very generous, but PLEASE either contact eBay or you or a friend bid it up to win and not pay. It would be too much to let her sell it for lots of money.
I bet her dh just hears how awful she is and sucks it up or doesn't care, If he goes along with proposing to her in restaurants for free champagne. (Do you plan this beforehand and take off your rings?!)

gobster · 07/12/2017 22:57

Bless you for being so concerned about her FIL, shame she can’t show the same compassion

Really hope your husband gets it back and you can may hang of it to to pass to her FIL at a much later date

She is a disgusting friend to try and profit off you like that

jigsawpiece · 07/12/2017 22:57

Do NOT give up, this behaviour should not be condoned in any way. Time to report the auction to eBay as fraudulent. She had her chance to take it down.

ThatsWotSheSaid · 07/12/2017 22:58

I'm really shocked that anyone would behave like this. Wow CF indeed.

NisekoWhistler · 07/12/2017 23:00

Please don't give up on this.

MrsJamin · 07/12/2017 23:01

Please don't let her get away with this! If you can't contact her then just get straight in contact with eBay!

inlectorecumbit · 07/12/2017 23:01

I would report the ebay auction,just in case she sells it.

rcit · 07/12/2017 23:02

I'd more than take a break op, I'd cut her off. You wouldn't be falling out over an object, you'd be falling out over her thieving behaviour.

She exhibited the hallmark of a true cheeky fucker: instead of being apologetic when caught out, she was stroppy and pushed to keep it and then told you that you were in the wrong.

I just couldn't be friends with a bitch like that.

MsJolly · 07/12/2017 23:02

Don't give up on it-that's what she's hoping you will do! & I would then be stepping away from her forever! She's not just a CF she's a mean nasty CF!

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