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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

CF friend or AIBU?

990 replies

SilverBirchTree · 07/12/2017 00:31

We recently cleared out a family attic and found an antique object that is associated with a profession (think fireman's helmet/doctor's bag/judge's gavel etc). We looked it up online and saw they sell on eBay for between £150-350.

A friend of mine's FIL is retired from this profession and his hobby is researching its history. He has even self published books about it. He is a lovely man who I see about twice a year. He lost his wife a few months ago so he has been in my recent thoughts.

It is such a marvellous object (beautiful with history and craftsmanship) we decided we'd rather see it go to someone who would appreciate it, rather than sell it.

I asked my friend if her FIL would enjoy it. She responded that he would love it. When I dropped it off at her house, she and her husband said something about wrapping it up and making it their Christmas gift to their FIL. I was Hmm because it wasn't really from them, but whatever.

Today I saw on Facebook that she has put the object for sale online. Shock I messaged her a screen shot of the ad with the message '???' She wrote back 'hey, u gave it to us! I'm going to use the money to buy everyone a Chrissy present, not just [FIL]. We showed it to him and he enjoyed looking at it and taking snaps. Time for someone else to enjoy! :)'

I am so annoyed! She's correct that I gave it away- but I didn't give it to her to sell!! I feel like demanding that she either return the object to me or at least give me the money from the sale.

She's a good friend otherwise, but the kind of person who is always hunting for a bargain or a freebie. It was fun at uni but getting a bit tiresome today!!!

AIBU or is my friend a PITA?!

OP posts:
Bridechilla · 07/12/2017 09:43

Threaten to call the police

SexLubeAndAFishSlice · 07/12/2017 09:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
SilverBirchTree · 07/12/2017 09:47

Hi all,

Thanks for the responses! I'm living in Australia and was messaging CF friend during her workday. She's listed the object for $600 Australian dollars, which converts to £340 (more or less).

I've been busy with a baby tonight but think I will pop over to her place tomorrow morning and ask point blank for the object. I don't seem to be getting anywhere with messages.

I'm really fed up with her but would rather not have a big falling out over an [object]. I dont want to trouble the police, I'm sure they have better things to do. I'm just wishing I'd left the blasted thing in the attic!!

OP posts:
0hCrepe · 07/12/2017 09:51

If she’s also trying to sell it on fb then she must be prepared to cancel the auction.

Zoomaa · 07/12/2017 09:51

Some people are just incredible!

Is it on ebay? If you go over there and she won't give it to you then tell her your reporting it as stolen.

The cheekiest of CFs!

Original poster
SilverBirchTree · 07/12/2017 09:53

0hcrepe, that's a good point. She's completely full of crap!

OP posts:
ShatnersWig · 07/12/2017 09:54

Silver I absolutely WOULD have a big falling out with her (and you're probably going to get into a slanging match when you turn up at hers because CFs rarely back down). I'd want nothing to do with this piece of work again

LagunaBubbles · 07/12/2017 09:55

Report it to Ebay. Otherwise it wont be there when you turn up to collect it.

Dadstheworld · 07/12/2017 09:55

She's already made it clear she values this money more than your feelings.

glitterbiscuits · 07/12/2017 09:55

Wow! How could she even think about selling it? She’s bizarre. Has she got form for this sort of behaviour?

LadyinCement · 07/12/2017 09:56

Also, be prepared for her to say, "Oh, I'll give it to fil after all, then." (And then not.)

hollowtree · 07/12/2017 09:56

I agree with PP... pretty much stealing! I would demand it back

buckbeak · 07/12/2017 10:00

@SilverBirchTree I'd be going and getting it tonight, before she has the chance to find a buyer.

I'd also consider this friendship over, the way she's treating you is appalling.

saltandvinegarcrisps1 · 07/12/2017 10:03

Outrageous and vile. You did not give it to her - she was supposed to pass on.,she's stole it - just the same if you found a purse in the street with ID and gave it go someone the person knew to return and they kept it.,show her this thread!!!

becotide · 07/12/2017 10:03

You really need to make a fuss, she obviously has the hide of a fucking rhino.

how can people BE like this? How can they bear to be such a cunt??

FizzyGreenWater · 07/12/2017 10:03

I'd be on the doorstep as quickly as I could.

Fucking skank!!!

DownTheChimney · 07/12/2017 10:04

Omg just read all this thread with my mouth open Shock Angry

SparklyMagpie · 07/12/2017 10:04

What a cheeky bitch!

Hope you get it back OP

FizzyGreenWater · 07/12/2017 10:05

And message ebay reporting the item as stolen. Or tell her that's what you're going to do.

LouHotel · 07/12/2017 10:05

OP time to grow a backbone, i know its crap to fall out with friends but this isnt a friend. She has stolen from you.

You need to report her to ebay, you need to be more demanding in your response and i think at this stage a public shaming on her FB post is in order.

timeisnotaline · 07/12/2017 10:13

You have to report the eBay auction too, you can't let her sell it to a real bidder. (I'd bid as a safeguard as well, and screw my eBay status!)

CircleofWillis · 07/12/2017 10:15

I would just ask for it back. Otherwise she will just say she gave it to her FIL who passed it on to her.

SlothMama · 07/12/2017 10:16

What a cheeky bitch! I'd go get it back, why should she profit on something you intended to be given for someone to enjoy. Surely if you wanted it to be sold you'd sell it yourself

Anatidae · 07/12/2017 10:18

Report to eBay as stolen.

And get round there

RhiannonOHara · 07/12/2017 10:19

Report her to eBay and actually phone or go round there rather than just messaging.