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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

CF friend or AIBU?

990 replies

SilverBirchTree · 07/12/2017 00:31

We recently cleared out a family attic and found an antique object that is associated with a profession (think fireman's helmet/doctor's bag/judge's gavel etc). We looked it up online and saw they sell on eBay for between £150-350.

A friend of mine's FIL is retired from this profession and his hobby is researching its history. He has even self published books about it. He is a lovely man who I see about twice a year. He lost his wife a few months ago so he has been in my recent thoughts.

It is such a marvellous object (beautiful with history and craftsmanship) we decided we'd rather see it go to someone who would appreciate it, rather than sell it.

I asked my friend if her FIL would enjoy it. She responded that he would love it. When I dropped it off at her house, she and her husband said something about wrapping it up and making it their Christmas gift to their FIL. I was Hmm because it wasn't really from them, but whatever.

Today I saw on Facebook that she has put the object for sale online. Shock I messaged her a screen shot of the ad with the message '???' She wrote back 'hey, u gave it to us! I'm going to use the money to buy everyone a Chrissy present, not just [FIL]. We showed it to him and he enjoyed looking at it and taking snaps. Time for someone else to enjoy! :)'

I am so annoyed! She's correct that I gave it away- but I didn't give it to her to sell!! I feel like demanding that she either return the object to me or at least give me the money from the sale.

She's a good friend otherwise, but the kind of person who is always hunting for a bargain or a freebie. It was fun at uni but getting a bit tiresome today!!!

AIBU or is my friend a PITA?!

OP posts:
Aeroflotgirl · 07/12/2017 08:34

Not just a CF, but a nasty piece of work.

Rangelife · 07/12/2017 08:36

So by your friends logic:

My DP's have handed over my DC's Christmas presents for me to give them in Christmas morning. I know they equate to about £400 collectively. So I will sell these on and buy them another gift as well as buying my nephews gifts and my siblings gifts with the total.

I will then send my DP's a message saying 'wonderful gifts thanks. Time for someone else to enjoy them and will be buying everyone else's gifts with the proceeds. Thanks 😀'

THIS IS NOT NORMAL!!

Bobbybobbins · 07/12/2017 08:37

Omg my blood pressure is going through the roof! I can't believe that this cf would see this as acceptable! Surely any normal person would just say 'FIL isn't interested in having it (if it was even offered) so would you like it back?) Then if you said no, she would be able to do what she wanted with it. How rude to not ask you.

LemonBreeland · 07/12/2017 08:39

OMG I am fuming for you. I can't believe that anyone would have that much brass neck. I really hope you get it back.

punkpuffin · 07/12/2017 08:40

That is awful. I really hope you get it back. I agree with reporting it to ebay.

lauryloo · 07/12/2017 08:40

Omg OP - what a bitch. Lots of great advice given above. Really hope you get it back.

MsJolly · 07/12/2017 08:43

"It's clearly NOT junk as you're selling it for £340!"
It wasn't meant for you to keep or sell. I need you to give it back or I will be ruining your eBay feedback by reporting you for aelling stolen goods-I suspect this will suspend your account forever! I will be picking my item up from you at x time. Make sure you and it are there."

LunasSpectreSpecs · 07/12/2017 08:44

That's dreadful. I don't think I could continue a friendship with someone who was like that and who treated me with such contempt.

AlpacaLypse · 07/12/2017 08:45

Definitely a CF.

PoorYorick · 07/12/2017 08:46

Of course she's in the wrong! Demand it back!

Sarahh2014 · 07/12/2017 08:46

Log on to someone else's fb or create a new account.message her saying you'll buy it for 500 as u collect things like that.go round and take the item off the cheeky bitch

IHeartDodo · 07/12/2017 08:46

Oh my god!
I would message something very clear like "the item is not for sale and if fil doesn't want it then I would like it back, please take the auction down or I will have to report it to eBay as stolen"

OhNoOhNo · 07/12/2017 08:47
Shock

And then some more Shock Shock Shock

LazyDailyMailJournos · 07/12/2017 08:52

Blimey! Message her back:

I cannot make this any clearer - the item is not yours to sell. It was intended as a gift from me to FIL so it's not up to you to decide what I give him. Your eBay feedback is your problem and you should have thought about that before you decided to list something that didn't belong to you.

Foxysoxy01 · 07/12/2017 08:55

OMG!

This thread has given me the rage!!!!Angry

OP get round her house right now with the police in tow if necessary and demand the bloody thing back!

I cannot believe the front of some people ShockShockAngry

SheRaaarghPrincessOfPower · 07/12/2017 08:55

Report her to ebay Grin

makeitpink · 07/12/2017 08:57

There is part of me that hopes this thread is picked to be shared on Facebook and said CF realises it's her and feels thoroughly ashamed!

CatsCatsCats11 · 07/12/2017 08:57

Turn up to her house and refuse to leave until you have it.

Elephant17 · 07/12/2017 08:58

Urgh! She sounds horrible!!! You have to get it back Angry

zzzzz · 07/12/2017 08:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

littleskittle · 07/12/2017 09:03

Unbelievable - what a nasty thieving person! She is no friend. Im not sure you'd be able to prove it's yours to the police, but I hope you tell all mutual friends what a cow she is, and never speak to her again. Life is too short to associate with people like that!

gingerbreadmam · 07/12/2017 09:04

Bid 3k on it on eBay the go and get it back off her. I can't actually believe her responses although I do think the gift to fill bit may have caused confusion.

She obviously has no intention of giving it to him so take it back and auction it yourself.

As a compromise you could ask her to split profits with you.

FlouncyDoves · 07/12/2017 09:04

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

CrypticClues · 07/12/2017 09:06

"I cannot make this any clearer - the item is not yours to sell. It was intended as a gift from me to FIL so it's not up to you to decide what I give him. Your eBay feedback is your problem and you should have thought about that before you decided to list something that didn't belong to you."

Coupled with, "cancel the auction immediately or I will report it to eBay as stolen."

I can't believe she has listed it at over £300 then referred to it as junk from your loft.

angieloumc · 07/12/2017 09:07

As a compromise she could split the profits?
Err no! It's not the CF's in any way at all!

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