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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

CF friend or AIBU?

990 replies

SilverBirchTree · 07/12/2017 00:31

We recently cleared out a family attic and found an antique object that is associated with a profession (think fireman's helmet/doctor's bag/judge's gavel etc). We looked it up online and saw they sell on eBay for between £150-350.

A friend of mine's FIL is retired from this profession and his hobby is researching its history. He has even self published books about it. He is a lovely man who I see about twice a year. He lost his wife a few months ago so he has been in my recent thoughts.

It is such a marvellous object (beautiful with history and craftsmanship) we decided we'd rather see it go to someone who would appreciate it, rather than sell it.

I asked my friend if her FIL would enjoy it. She responded that he would love it. When I dropped it off at her house, she and her husband said something about wrapping it up and making it their Christmas gift to their FIL. I was Hmm because it wasn't really from them, but whatever.

Today I saw on Facebook that she has put the object for sale online. Shock I messaged her a screen shot of the ad with the message '???' She wrote back 'hey, u gave it to us! I'm going to use the money to buy everyone a Chrissy present, not just [FIL]. We showed it to him and he enjoyed looking at it and taking snaps. Time for someone else to enjoy! :)'

I am so annoyed! She's correct that I gave it away- but I didn't give it to her to sell!! I feel like demanding that she either return the object to me or at least give me the money from the sale.

She's a good friend otherwise, but the kind of person who is always hunting for a bargain or a freebie. It was fun at uni but getting a bit tiresome today!!!

AIBU or is my friend a PITA?!

OP posts:
SilverdaleGlen · 07/12/2017 07:57

I wonder if her DH knows his father is missing out? Do you know him to text, he may have a little more shame about a gift promoted as a kind thought because of his mother dying?...

I'd be texting

"I'm not going to argue, you are unbelievably rude. I have emailed eBay and FB that the item is not yours to sell and will pick it up tomorrow. You should be ashamed of yourself".

Inertia · 07/12/2017 07:59

Is there no ebay facility to report this as a stolen item?

roconnell · 07/12/2017 08:02

I'd go round and demand it back, threaten to call the police if she refuses, then I report her eBay account as selling stolen property.
You can kiss goodbye to the friendship though if you do this, but then, why would you want to be friends with her after this anyway? I can't believe the CF has essentially stolen £350 off you! Angry hope you get it back!

loveisevol · 07/12/2017 08:03

Whaaaat? She is batshit crazy. Turn up on her doorstep and demand your thing back. Fuck the friendship.

Heckneck · 07/12/2017 08:05

Wow. Yes. Go back and get it. Report to eBay as stolen. CFB.

Pearlsaringer · 07/12/2017 08:06

Absolute rubbish. She can withdraw it from sale. Even if there is a bid the bidder is not guaranteed to win it until the sale ends. Her feedback will not be affected. Message back, telling her to take down IMMEDIATELY or you will report to EBay as stolen. Make sure she does this before the auction ends. Good luck!

ShatnersWig · 07/12/2017 08:06

Another one wondering why the OP and CF are both awake and exchanging such pleasant messages at stupid o'clock in the morning. I assumed overseas as there was use of a dollar sign, but then the OP used a pound sign.

Cannot understand why the OP also sent such wishy-washy messages, especially after some of the excellent suggestions PP made on the thread. You get nowhere with CFs by being so stupidly polite.

chicaguapa · 07/12/2017 08:07

Just win the auction and go round to collect it. But don't hand any money over. Then she doesn't have to take the item off eBay but you can get it back. If you both tell eBay that the sale was cancelled she doesn't have to pay the fees.

Then bin her as a friend. CF indeed!

Pearlsaringer · 07/12/2017 08:08

If she doesn’t, your other option is to make a crazy bid to make sure it doesn’t get sold to someone else, then report to EBay with a screenshot of all your messages so far.

Pearlsaringer · 07/12/2017 08:09

Oops x post with chica

Cheerybigbottom · 07/12/2017 08:10

What an absolute cow. She's trying to brazen it all out thinking you'll back down. Say you will consider it stolen if she doesn't return it. She's prepared to end your friendship over £340 so you should consider it finished and be straight. She's stolen it, you want it back.

Rhodiolia · 07/12/2017 08:10

Are you in the UK?

neuronalmatter · 07/12/2017 08:10

Looks like you'll have to name and shame her on the Facebook post if she isn't playing ball?

expatinscotland · 07/12/2017 08:11

What pictish said. Your friendship with this cunt is over, so may as well do what you can to get your item back. Forget about the FIL getting it. It was not given to her to do as she pleased with. I'd contact Ebay and tell them she's selling stolen goods.

BrieAndChilli · 07/12/2017 08:11

I think her reaction says it all really.
If I had been given something and then decided to sell it and that person called me out on it I would be mortified and apologetic and giving it straight back.

I wouldn’t do it in the first place anyway, I get given clothes as hand me downs and sometimes quite posh labels but I wouldn’t sell them on as I’d feel too cheeky so I in turn pass them on to their friends.

Gingernaut · 07/12/2017 08:14

pages.ebay.co.uk/help/policies/stolen.html

Hopefully, the link above offers more hope than this piece of advice

www.ebay.co.uk/gds/Buying-goods-that-do-not-belong-to-the-seller-UK-Law-/10000000004639785/g.html

Ceto · 07/12/2017 08:16

.

Aeroflotgirl · 07/12/2017 08:21

She's not a friend, not much you can do, just sack her off.

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 07/12/2017 08:24

If you have a bidder but then are forced to ckose the listing - how can it mess up your feedback? There’s bo item to give a feedback to?

RestingBitchFaced · 07/12/2017 08:25

You need to get tough and get it back asap,or next thing you know is she will say it's been sold! Cheeky fucker indeed

Blessyourheart · 07/12/2017 08:26

Glad you're going to get it back. CF of the highest order. Not a good friend.

Lonelynessie · 07/12/2017 08:27

YANBU! You need to make her clearly know that the item is yours and it was never hers to sell - she was just the middleman passing it through to fil, and if it doesn’t go to him it must come straight back to you! CF indeed! I’d also get on to ebay and let them know the item was stolen.

GlitteryFluff · 07/12/2017 08:27

I genuinely can't believe people are this cheeky. I certainly don't know any, which I'm quite glad about! Definitely get it back ASAP.

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 07/12/2017 08:29

This woman has more front than Blackpool

CactusCactusCactus · 07/12/2017 08:33

Cheeky. Fucker!!

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