AIBU not wanting to share our Xmas bonus with BIL and MIL?

[Cumulus1984]

DH got a new job with a wine merchant earlier this year. As a Xmas bonus, employees have the option to purchase a year's supply of wine: 52 bottles for £52. The wine retails for £20 a bottle.

DH mentioned it to MIL and BIL, who immediately went OOOH! and wanted to split it three ways (17 bottles each). Then they had a chat about who they could give the bottles of wine to as Xmas presents... one for my work colleague Sarah, one for my neighbour John, etc.

I was seething when DH told me because it's OUR Xmas bonus! I don't mind giving them a bottle each for Xmas but I don't see why they should have a third each, or why they should give away our bargain wine to their colleagues and friends who are complete strangers to us! And then when we run out of the nice stuff after a few months we have to spend five times as much on cheap wine to last us the rest of the year.

They've asked a couple of times when THEIR wine is being delivered. I've told DH to tell them it's our Xmas bonus and he's happy to give them a bottle each as a gift but we want to keep the rest to last us the year. But DH insists he can't refuse to share because it's rude and I'm being selfish. I pointed out that BIL receives a cash bonus from his employer and he isn't sharing that with us, so I don't see why we should share our bonus. AIBU wanting to keep our Xmas bonus for ourselves?

Entitled behaviour..... They're treating you/him as a very cheap source of expensive-ish christmas gifts...

Would they expect this of it were a cash bonus?

He tells them it's worth £340 and if they want 17 bottles then it will be £110 and not £17.
Easy!

I agree with everyone else.

I imagine BIL isn't handing over 1/3 of his christmas bonus to you and 1/3 to his mother. So why on earth should you give up yours? It means you won't have to buy wine for some time if you keep it for personal use... tell them no. They are cheeky fuckers!

No way is all I have to say on this matter. Tell them to do one.

Has anyone suggested telling the BIL to hand over a share of his annual bonus yet? Or to cancel the cheque?

"He tells them it's worth £340 and if they want 17 bottles then it will be £110 and not £17.
Easy!"
No 17 bottles are worth £340 , 52 are worth £1040.

Cheeky duckers! Say you are having half, so keep your 26 bottles and he can split the rest (if he wants to be a tosser/doormat/twat).

Your dh needs to tell them its HIS bonus not bil and mil's bonus

I am sorry for all the posters who think one partner in a family gets to keep all of his bonus to himself , particularly when the other partner is bringing up their children instead of working so has no possibility of a bonus. It sounds like a miserable life. These same posters also seem to think it more reasonable the man share his bonus with his mum and brother than with his partner... a very miserable life to be the partner of someone who actually thinks that way.

Is DH's income tax going to be in any way affected by this "bonus" purchase? Will it be seen as some kind of allowance? If so, they'll owe you more than the cost of the bottles, or DH will be out of pocket.

Who shares a bonus like this? They are CFs. Treat them to a tinkly laugh and drink all the wine yourself.

Maybe they just thought you wouldn’t want to use the whole 52 bottle allowance up? Must admit I only drink about two bottles of wine a year so would be happy to share such a bonus, as long as people paid their £1 a bottle.

YADNBU!!!

This is super cheeky anyway but I think the fact they don't even want them to drink but to dish them out to Tom, Dick & Harry as Christmas presents just makes it worse

Never in a million years would I go along with this! What a cheek, and as PPs have said, is the BIL going to split his bonus? One bottle each as a gift, same to your family, at Christmas - end of discussion.

It would be a firm "no" from me. They might be paying for them but they still form part of his renumeration package from work. It's not for sale.

Oh op this has got Daily Mail written all over it please be careful

tell your bil you're looking forward to spending your 1/3 of his xmas bonus. what a fucking cheek. they're fully taking advantage and they know it. you can't let them do this.

I'm a lightweight drinker and even I would see 52 bottles as your own stocks that will get used during the year. But as has been said, you have a DH problem. As has also been suggested, tell him your family should get a share too and see what that does.

I think you are the one being unreasonable. Do you plan to drink all that wine. . .plus, it's your DHs bonus, not yours, unless you managed to get a job there too. ..

Maybe your Dh doesn’t want 52 bottles of wine lying about and is happy to share the opportunity to buy it with his sibling? It wouldn’t especially bother me. It’s not as if it’s helping keep a roof over your head. It’s only wine!
It is only wine but that wine equals an amount in cash which is the worked for Christmas bonus.

If he's gonna share it with anyone he ought to share it with you.

He can split his 26 bottles 3 ways if he wants but I agree his family are v cheeky.

Just tell mil and bil that because dh isnt getting his bonus in cash, but in nice wine you've decided to sell most of it. Then, "what's the best way to do this MIL, pool the wine proceeds with bils money bonus together and share between the two brothers, or are you greedy MIL expecting a third of your sons money."?

Yanbu at all!

Tell them you didn't get it after all and then bring it out every shared meal. Serve them right. Your husband sounds a bit of a people-pleaser. I would have words about that.