AIBU to not want to go to my colleague’s house for dinner?

[Skarossinkplunger]

I’m two months into a new job where I share an office with a male colleague. We’re still in the getting to know each other stage but he seems like a nice bloke. We get on well and have not been in a social situation.

His partner works here too but is currently on maternity leave. She called in with the baby unannounced yesterday and attempted to engage in a long conversation which was a pain as I was really busy. She was asking lots of questions and I got the distinct feeling I was being ‘assessed’.

The conversation ended with her inviting my husband and I for dinner at their house and completely cringe-worthy PDA with my colleague as she left.

AIBU to not want to have dinner with two people I barely know just so she can make I don’t hit in her partner?

Just say no, you don't mix business with pleasure.

Please cod you stop asking me. Godshe sounds hard work, surely if people keep putting you off, you drop it.

I kind of want to go now and announce how nice it is to meet other sex people over the starter.

Op - I wouldn't go, even for the imagined lols.

You'll only leave the room for two seconds and return to find her straddling your colleague. Watching your colleague and his wife "on the job" while a baby wails in the background is a pretty poor accompanyment to a dinner party at the best of times.

Crikey! Def sex people.

Is she desperate for friends maybe? Maybe ask your colleague?

I think it's a bit odd to be so persistent to have you other after meeting you briefly without an agenda! Agenda = swinging or sussing you out!

Op she sounds lonely, she not assessing you she's probably just desperate for some normal adult conversation.

I don't buy that she needs friends. She's on mat leave - she can join baby groups!

This would be the most awkward dinner. Say you're booked up till June.

If so many people think the OP is right to consider this woman weird does it mean that advice to invite female colleagues to dinner to suss them out will no longer be forthcoming on here?

You're lucky she wants to spend time with you. The way you come across in your post..I'm not sure anyone else does.

I've seen threads on here from wives worried about their husbands female colleague...they are often advised to invite them round for dinner!

Why on earth would she want to spend time with someone she has known 10 minutes?
She already works in the same building I am sure she knows plenty people she could invite.

Nobody meets someone then invites them for dinner immediately. She has displayed all the signs of an insecure person with trust issues that's not ops problem. Snogging and groping your husband in front of his new colleague is cringeworthy.

Right. That's just very um ...just awkward, ringing right away throwing dates out.

I have friends from work. We socialise. But those friendships have built up naturally over time not in this forced sort of way. Especially as it sounds like it was a bit tense and one sided when you met her, for the first time, yesterday.

God knows why she is inviting you. Who cares. I don't buy the lonely with a baby - you are a poor candidate for a maternity leave friend as you're in, err work. If she's checking you out re her partner, I trust your instincts. Even though some on here seem to think it just is what is....Yeah right.

Anyway you'd have a crap time. You can sense that now. For that reason alone bluster your way out of it. Christmas blah blah blah.

Can you ask your colleague if they’re always that friendly with new work colleagues? I’d say they must be rushed off their feet with the baby so I wouldn’t dream if imposomgnin them anytime soon.

You need to have a word with your colleague. Tell him that you appreciate the invite but that you prefer to keep work and home separate. Leave it at that - it's up to him to manage the conversation with his wife.

How about arranging to meet her for a coffee in the morning of some weekend instead. It is she that is being persistent, so that might just get her off your back.

Then it will be her turn to decline, find excuses etc.

I definitely would NOT go to dinner under any circumstances whatsoever. Nope.

By the time you can mutually agree the coffee date, she will be back to work after Mat Leave and can watch her husband hitting on you or vice versa ha ha, to her heart's content.

Some of you on here are really hard work

And from someone who jumped in asking the OP if she had low self esteem.

She's obviously a mumsnetter, as pp have pointed out, the first advice given on any "I think my dh fancies his work colleague" thread is "invite her to dinner and check her out." Now you just have to browse mumsnet and find out which one she is. Has her dh been decoratong your desk with tinsel by any chance?

If she carries on being persistent you could always go and do a bit of flirting with her dh to amuse yourself.

Your colleague may have 'mentionitis ' about you and it's ringing warning bells for his wife.

You're lucky she wants to spend time with you. The way you come across in your post..I'm not sure anyone else does

The OP sounds perfectly normal to me. What a mean little contribution.

Nah she is BU and you are NOT

Fucks sake . Just be busy and busy and busy . Maybe he has been mentioning you loads

OP you know nothing whatsoever about this woman or her DH (apart from what you see in the office). Get over yourself! The arrogance of thinking the "PDA" was for your benefit!
Maybe she loves cooking and asks people over left, right and centre. Stop flattering yourself that you've somehow had an impact.

Do you fancy her DH or something and the PDA got your back up? Is that what it is?

Going to go against the grain here and say that she totally was checking you out. She's heard about you whilst in maternity leave and is trying to get familiar with you. I think it's blatantly obvious!! Don't go OP. Be a mystery!!

Nah we all know when someone is being a bit weird and when someone is genuinely friendly

This woman has made weird comments , done a wierd PDA and is now hounding a complete stranger for a dinner date

It’s not what I would classify as friendly

How awkward !

You know even I a battle hardened veteran of Aibu am shocked at the replies to the OP

Sheesh