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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mothers with enormous toddlers in slings...

725 replies

CheapSausagesAndSpam · 06/12/2017 00:15

AIBU to wonder how the feck they manage?

My neighbour has just walked past my window with her son dangling in front of her like a bloody giant in a harness!

He's almost 4! No SEN and very sturdy/capable.

We live in a tiny town/village and she can drive etc....she's probably just going to the shop down the road.

Why??

OP posts:
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15
Summerisdone · 06/12/2017 08:14

YANBU, my (recently turned) 3 YO is already too big for me to even consider lugging him around in a sling, the best I can do is carry him on my shoulders for a short while.

Toddlers can be a PITA though when it comes to walking, they dawdle and get tired bored, but I take DS’s balance bike with us most of the time, this usually keeps him moving along, though I do need to watch him on that because I swear he thinks he’s a BMX stuntman on it Grin

Dowser · 06/12/2017 08:16

Yes jakeyboy
At 40 my daughter is still slim, smart and stylish and if she takes after me she won’t start with the greys till nearly 60!
She still looks like she’s in late 20s

Only1scoop · 06/12/2017 08:17

Yanbu

It's odd makes my back twinge just observing

londonrach · 06/12/2017 08:17

Yanbu. I cant image my 16 month old allowing me to do that. Walking is her prefered method of transport at the moment. must be a mn thing as not seen it for a child over 6 months near us unless its a walking carrier on the back

Silverthorn · 06/12/2017 08:17

It's a curious sight. My 3.7yo has been walking/running everywhere since age 18mo. 19mo ds2 can do a 6km walk in the peaks with only one snack break on a good day so it all seems a bit strange to me. Saying that I put ds2 in the sling or pushchair when I need him contained or to get somewhere quickly. I suppose its no different to a child having a carry on your shoulders. Wanders off to debate the different methods of transporting small children.

OrangeJulius · 06/12/2017 08:19

YABU. And I'm not sure why you've decided slings are just for babies. They really aren't. We have a sling for baby DS and a sling for almost 2 year old DD, both are very useful.

FriendlyGhost · 06/12/2017 08:19

I can’t believe the level of judgement on this thread. Have any of those saying a child can ‘just walk’ actually had any? Haven’t they ever been tired after a long day or a walk and wanted to be picked up? I can’t carry my daughter in my arms for long once she refuses to walk but I can carry her in the sling no problem. It’s not treating her like a baby. She’s still little and I will carry her if she’s struggling. I will also be carrying her the mile to preschool this morning because I don’t have an extra 15 minutes to let her walk. I would much rather walk and carry her than drive like other parents do and I believe that she will be getting a positive message on walking above driving by doing so. Carrying her a short way will not make her obese because she can happily walk a long way and regularly does. She does get tired though because she’s a little human and i’m glad I can be there for her when she does.

Zoomaa · 06/12/2017 08:21

Mine just walks to be honest. I can't carry her because I have a shit back.

Was always the way. She deals with it.

DrRanjsRightEyebrow · 06/12/2017 08:23

my god a lot of delicate women on here! Bad for her back? My 4yo DS is about 15kg (I have no idea actually) and I will sling him occasionally. Like this morning to nip to the pharmacy. He's sick and too weak to walk. A buggy on that route is a nightmare as everyone parks on the curb round here and you can't fit through. But I can hack 15kg on my back without collapsing in agony. I used to carry more than that in a backpack when I went on holidays when younger!

NCforthis12345 · 06/12/2017 08:23

These threads are really sad.

I do not have a 4yo so I'm not biased but this goes with everything - to the judgemental people, take a good look at all your parenting choices. I can guarantee you have also been judged.

And Lime19 I could be totally wrong but as for your anti co-sleeping and older child breastfeeding, did you by any chance formula feed or stop bf at an age considered young to some? Did you do controlled crying. I obviously am not going to judge you on this but you preach very strongly about independance and seem very againt co-sleeping etc. that I can't help but wonder.

Scotinoz · 06/12/2017 08:24

I love the people who say that a 2/3 year old can easily walk a mile. How the crap do you get a 2.5 year old, who is perfectly capable of walking and will walk/run/hop/jump all day if it suits them, to actually walk further than a metre without clinging to their leg and sobbing "pick me up Mummy, pick me up" 😩 Every. Bloody. Day 😩

Child #1 would happily walk from 18months. Child #2 has her own agenda, which doesn't including walking when you actually want her too.

So why a toddler in a carrier? Because they've accepted the fact their kid won't bloody walk when they want them to, and they need to accomplish some stuff each day.

I could spend an hour fighting to get my kid to walk, or drag her along the pavement as she clings to my ankle (but someone would likely judge that). Or I could just pick her up.

Or as the clever lady under fire does, put them in a contraption which leaves them hands free and doesn't knacker their back.

Who bloody cares how kids are transported!

DrRanjsRightEyebrow · 06/12/2017 08:24

ps people that already have bad backs then of course, best avoided, but to say it's 'bad for your back' when otherwise healthy is nonsense.

BackBoiler · 06/12/2017 08:26

I used to sit my DS on the top of my 8 month pregnant bump and carry him home from nursery sometimes - he was 4 but luckily I have tiny children and I can still pick him up now at almost 10!

I do actually wish I had bought one for my DD when she was small as sometimes now (e.g. we went to a bonfire display) she gets tired and a buggy is just too tying and it got in the way of the crowd of people that were there. It would also be useful in town etc when she decides her legs hurt! It is too much of a cost outlay now as she is 4 in around a week's time.

Only1scoop · 06/12/2017 08:26

We didn't use a buggy post 18 months TBH

Used back pack on longer hill walks when dd got tired until about 2 and a half.

Firenight · 06/12/2017 08:27

I still carry my 3.5 year old when she gets tired. I can’t exactly leave her when she hits the won’t walk or won’t walk fast enough point! She loves a cuddle up on my back.

HermioneIsMe · 06/12/2017 08:29

I did with dc2.
He walked as much as possible BUT I always had a sling with me to carry him if need be.
However, that was also the time when he was chronically constipated, which meant he hardly ate and was getting tired very easily.

I’ve had looks from people when I used the sling to go an collect dc1. But who cares really??

As for my back, don’t worry about it. Carrying a child in a sling like this is much easier in your back than putting them on your hip. That’s why I was still us8ng a sling actually. Easier and much more gentle for me.

Fwiw, dc2 is now a teen. He is very physically active, can walk for miles at a much higher speed than most adults. It never had any bad effect in his ability to walk long distances.

Spudlet · 06/12/2017 08:31

Scot Oh, been there.... ds can walk for ages if it suits but put him down somewhere he deems unacceptable and its a wingefest. Playing hardball doesn't work - he wails, clings to my legs, sits down and goes on strike or turns around and runs towards the road. Should I let him run under a grain wagon to make a point, perhaps? Drag him along even though he's clearly miserable, so that he comes to hate going for walks? He's 23 months old ffs, it's hardly abnormal that he should be somewhat mercurial. Put him down somewhere interesting - plenty of muddy puddles, interesting sticks or crunchy leaves for instance - and you'll be running to keep up.

I guess we just got the wrong type of child. Shame on us, for being so careless as to have a child with their own ideas about things!

Isadora2007 · 06/12/2017 08:34

Average 4 year old weighs 40lb. How many people are at least that amount overweight? They’re damaging their backs far more as they have that extra all day and not for 30 mins or so at a time...

There’s nothing wrong with carrying a child. And on your back in an ergonomic (which it will be if it goes large enough for a preschooler) carrier is perfect.
I’m on a Disneyland forum and people take buggies for 5/6 year olds which I think is far “sillier” than the odd carry- but shows that children older than 3 don’t necessarily all walk everywhere.
Carrying a child is a great way to enable talking to them and encourage speech and communication. I always feel happy for a child being carried as I know that interaction is far nicer than kids strapped into buggies with no face to face interaction for ages.
You YABU.

Autumnskiesarelovely · 06/12/2017 08:45

Well each to their own but ouch! The backs!

Although, you have to be careful with slings and young babies. Some worrying stats in America where babies have been unable to breath if they’ve got into a prone position. Rare but still... I wouldn’t use one for that reason.

Zoomaa · 06/12/2017 08:48

I swear to god I needed a buggy in Disney. 9am to 9pm, it was fecking knackering.

upperlimit · 06/12/2017 08:53

I think a two or three year old can happily walk a mile or two, unfortunately most of that is in circles and on their own schedule.

Fuckit2017 · 06/12/2017 08:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
CheapSausagesAndSpam · 06/12/2017 08:57

Soup

I don't need to calm down...it honestly sounds like you do though! Grin

OP posts:
Emerald92 · 06/12/2017 09:01

Honestly, sometimes I believe MN is a world of its own. Only on here would it be acceptable to carry a fucking 4 yo in a sling!

In the RL it's odd, children at that age can and should be bloody walking.

Slings for children = Snowflake generation

Anatidae · 06/12/2017 09:01

I think a two or three year old can happily walk a mile or two, unfortunately most of that is in circles and on their own schedule.

Exactly... mine can walk miles. As long as you’re happy to spend hours doing it while have all the ladybirds pointed out to you, frequent droppings to the floor to look at exciting twigs, and endless picking up and pocketing of small treasures. And the sitting on rocks/jumping on walls etc.