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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mothers with enormous toddlers in slings...

725 replies

CheapSausagesAndSpam · 06/12/2017 00:15

AIBU to wonder how the feck they manage?

My neighbour has just walked past my window with her son dangling in front of her like a bloody giant in a harness!

He's almost 4! No SEN and very sturdy/capable.

We live in a tiny town/village and she can drive etc....she's probably just going to the shop down the road.

Why??

OP posts:
Thread gallery
15
Original poster
CheapSausagesAndSpam · 06/12/2017 09:03

Emerald I know! It's bloody huge!

OP posts:
rabbitsdontlayeggs · 06/12/2017 09:09

Wow! I've got one of those Ergo 360s so all supportive and stuff but I can't manage to carry 20 month old DD in it anymore and she's only about 26lbs no way could I manage a four year old!

Not that DD will go in it anymore anyway - 'Walk, mama!!'

Fuckit2017 · 06/12/2017 09:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

maddiemookins16mum · 06/12/2017 09:14

I agree with you OP, and they're not toddlers at four either.
That said, it doesn't keep me awake at night fretting about it.

PastLegoNow · 06/12/2017 09:14

Not at all, toddler slings can be super convenient, we got so much use out of ours. But we always carried on the back, which is recommended. Better carrying a tired grumpy toddler in a back sling than on your arms surely.

its people who drive everywhere who complain about big toddlers in strollers and slings
OP lucky you for having SO little to worry about. Spread the love.

mustbemad17 · 06/12/2017 09:14

Some really stuck up, judgy comments on here!! I do hope all of you in the '4 year olds can walk' brigade don't use a car, or a bus to get anywhere. I mean, if a 4 year old can walk perfectly well anywhere, then so can a bunch of grown up women surely?

FriendlyGhost · 06/12/2017 09:17

What a ridiculous overreaction to a mode of transport Emerald. There is a lot of research that shows responding to a child’s needs helps them build more secure long lasting relationships. Crying it out for example is now seen as damaging because it releases stress hormones and changes their brain chemistry, linked to depression in later life. I like to comfort my children when they are upset. In the same way, I will pick them up and carry them in a sling if they are tired rather than letting them cry all the way home. It is not treating them like a special snowflake, it’s responding to their needs and being a caring parent. With attitudes like yours, it’s hardly surprising that there are so many mental health issues stemming from attachment issues.

HermioneIsMe · 06/12/2017 09:18

Esmerald then maybe you should read the thread to see what sort of reasons people have to use a sling to carry a 4yo.
You would learn that there are some pretty good reasons for that AND that people actually do that.

I suspect you have been one of the people who looked at me with a very judgemental look on their face when I was carrying my dc in a sling, whilst I was shouting in my own head, JUST F*OFF. I’m doing my best, just like you.

DrRanjsRightEyebrow · 06/12/2017 09:24

I'm just about to stick my sick 4yo in a sling to take him to the GP surgery. It's not far enough to justify use of a car, plus his car seat is still wet after being vommed on yesterday. I wonder how many curtain twitchers round here are m'ners and will leap on to this thread to judge me as a snowflake or with concern for my back! (I am a fit 37 yr old size 8 - I can hack carrying 15kgs for a mile without collapsing thank you very much)

brasty · 06/12/2017 09:24

I am just shocked that she can manage to carry a nearly 4 year old in a forward sling. I see people hiking with children this age in back slings that look more like supported rucksacks, and I can see how the design makes it possible to carry children of that age. But if I saw a friend doing this in a forward facing sling, I would probably say something about her risking an injury to herself.

DrRanjsRightEyebrow · 06/12/2017 09:28

very kind of you to be so concerned brasty, but I'm going to guess she knows her own physical capabilities and limitations. It's preferable to carrying on a hip. A good sling is super supportive and easy to carry heavy weights in and some folk are just stronger than others.

Layla8 · 06/12/2017 09:29

That’s ridiculous. Some women seem to want to keep their children as babies for ever. He should have been walking.

brasty · 06/12/2017 09:31

No people do things all the time that risk injury to themselves. Just watch how some people lift heavy weights. A back sling would make much more sense.

brasty · 06/12/2017 09:32

But unless she was a friend, I wouldn't say anything.

brasty · 06/12/2017 09:34

Actually just looked at forward facing slings on the internet, and they all have height and weight limits that most 4 year olds would majorly exceed.

wheresthel1ght · 06/12/2017 09:34

I think I would think it a bit odd too... My 4.5 year old uses a hiking back carrier if we are out with the dogs for a long walk and gets tired as I simply cannot hold her but I am not sure a sling would hold her... She hated them as she baby!

Booie09 · 06/12/2017 09:37

Sorry a 4 year old should be walking moaning or not! They are not babies or toddlers anymore they are little children! No wonder child obesity is at a high level!!

Callamia · 06/12/2017 09:37

Reasons I sometimes carry my older child (can we assume that the baby is allowed to be carried?)

  • we don’t have a car
  • sometimes I want to walk further than the chiId does
-my back is fine, I’ve carried him everyday since he was born. My muscles have developed in line with this.
  • it’s my own business how I transport my kid
  • I promise faithfully that he can walk and run and jump and I have no desire to baby him
brasty · 06/12/2017 09:38

I can find a forward facing sling that can be used for up to 36 months. But unless this nearly 4 year old is particularly small for their age, I suspect the mother is using a sling beyond the recommended age and weight.
She needs to buy a hiking back sling if she wants to carry her child. These are designed as suitable to use with 4 year olds. And many keen hikers use them.

Callamia · 06/12/2017 09:38

And the obesity comment is hilarious.
Slings cause fat kids.
That’s it. Why didn’t we see this before?

brasty · 06/12/2017 09:39

Slings don't cause fat kids. But most children do get less exercise than previous generations.

hellofresh · 06/12/2017 09:44

'And they all look the same... long hair with grey roots, pear shaped, long skirt. 😂 it's a sisterhood I've not entered, must be so bad for the back!'

Not in my experience....

I carry my nearly 3 year old in a back pack quite often with my 4 year old in the pram. Both can walk fine and regularly do 3 miles to the shops and back. However, it isn't uncommon for both to be unwell at the same time, or exhausted if we've had a busy few days, in which case I have to get them from A to B somehow. I could drive, but I don't for a quick trip to the shops. Why would I?

Wellandtrulyoutnumbered · 06/12/2017 09:45

Fuck off with the grammar lesson cheap.

Not ignorance but voice typing and a complete lack of regard for you to manually correct it.

Wellandtrulyoutnumbered · 06/12/2017 09:48

I know a nearly 4 year old who's mum walks 6 miles at least every day to and from school with him and his siblings. Often in the morning she's wearing him on her back probably as it's quicker and easier to do the 30 minute walk to school

When he starts school in September she'll probably put him on her back in a sling on the way home from school as he'll be tired.

Yet the ignorant fools will judge her yet not the parents ( like me) who drive.........

Get over yourselves.

Emerald92 · 06/12/2017 09:48

Haha 'responding to their needs', more like pandering to their demands!

A 4yo needs food, water etc. They don't need to be carried!

@DrRanjsRightEyebrow - You're taking your vomiting child to a GP surgery? How considerate of you!